Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
Isaac Turner wrote:
"At home/ drawing pictures/ of mountain tops/ with him on top "
"I wish I was a sailor with someone waiting for me/ I wish I was as fortunate as fortunate as me"
aren't these types of things by poets crucified by critics?
does it work because it is lyrics?
any other examples come to mind?[/i]
yes they usually are
They work because they are delivered well, and a good delivery can cover up sloppier writing.
Parachutes has this problem in a few places I believe. It pops up every now then
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
"At home/ drawing pictures/ of mountain tops/ with him on top "
"I wish I was a sailor with someone waiting for me/ I wish I was as fortunate as fortunate as me"
aren't these types of things by poets crucified by critics?
does it work because it is lyrics?
any other examples come to mind?[/i]
yes they usually are
They work because they are delivered well, and a good delivery can cover up sloppier writing.
Parachutes has this problem in a few places I believe. It pops up every now then
Plus they are being sung not read. We'll have to wait until Ed does a Billy Corgan and releases a book of poetry before we find out if he is aware of this or not
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 8:52 pm Posts: 2647 Location: Where gila monsters meet you at the airport
in both songs it works because it seems to me that it's done deliberately to draw attention to the line, not out of laziness or bad writing.
this is especially true in wishlist, where ed is already turning a common phrase on its head ("I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me") and the double rhyme just further emphasizes the deliberate awkwardness.
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:00 pm Posts: 5364 Location: Wrigley Field Gender: Male
mray10 wrote:
in both songs it works because it seems to me that it's done deliberately to draw attention to the line, not out of laziness or bad writing.
this is especially true in wishlist, where ed is already turning a common phrase on its head ("I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me") and the double rhyme just further emphasizes the deliberate awkwardness.
good interpretation
i can write the first one off on the basis of it being his major label debut
Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 5:47 am Posts: 27904 Location: Philadelphia Gender: Male
I don't think it's a problem in either song (and I don't like Jeremy). If you look at the two words, "top" and "me", they are both extremely meaningful in the context of the respective songs. Same thing for Parachutes.
_________________ It's always the fallen ones who think they're always gonna save me.
Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2006 3:27 pm Posts: 119 Location: Adelaide, AU
The only one that bothers me is from Small Town
All these changes taking place, I wish I'd seen the place
Mainly because it's a sing along and just feels wrong I think even Ed realises it's not exactly stellar song writing there.. he seems to hang the delivery of it a bit sometimes.
I like the song but that line is just a doozy
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2005 12:37 pm Posts: 7376 Location: Vlaardingen, Netherlands Gender: Female
if it's any comfort: my mind works the same way There are a few on the new album too but I can't name them right now.
groetjes,
Mirella
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Joined: Tue May 30, 2006 2:48 pm Posts: 3115 Location: Edinburgh/Lincoln, UK
I don't think you have much of a valid argument for Jeremy, considering that there seems to be no intentional rhyme within the verses anyway. I think the doube use of 'top' is key there in maintaining the flow of the song, and the word 'top' as suggested by Frank, seems deliberate in stressing the point trying to be made.
The 'me' in Wishlist is a bit dodgy, but i'll happily take mray10's interpretation on that one. Ed seems to be giong against the expected with that rhyme - it wuold almost be too easy to use the word 'be' or sea/see' or something, so he uses the word 'me' to stress the point.
I've always heard 'face' as the rhyme in Small town, but that's just from memory and live boots i'd assume. if he does use 'place' twice, there's no excuse, psh *slaps eddie on wrist*
That said, i am trying being defensive out of respect to Ed I do however agree that his writing sometimes isn't as great when it's read through, it does rely heavily on delivery.
Where have you been, its all right we know where yove been
'' its alright we told you what to dream
The double rhyme, while perhaps taboo in the completely different subject of poetry, which does differ very significantly from lyricism, can sometimes be actually kind of cool. I'm sure the writer in question is aware of it and means to do so, as they would see it on paper right write away.
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:15 am Posts: 515 Location: San Jose, CA
iceagecoming wrote:
I The 'me' in Wishlist is a bit dodgy, but i'll happily take mray10's interpretation on that one. Ed seems to be giong against the expected with that rhyme - it wuold almost be too easy to use the word 'be' or sea/see' or something, so he uses the word 'me' to stress the point.
i hate it when i see/hear "me" rhymed with "be", in either lyrics or poetry. Seem so cheap.
_________________ "women should stop complaining about men until they show better taste in them" - Bill Maher
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