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LoathedVermin72
 Post subject: Poem: Beady
PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 11:36 pm 
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Last edited by LoathedVermin72 on Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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youkan fakoff
 Post subject: Re: Untitled Poem
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 1:02 am 
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LoathedVermin72 wrote:
in your fragile feign of bearing
the lightness of keeping alive
the serum of flickering tongues and ruby tonsils
the eschewed validity of obfuscation


Pretty good..this part i had to read 20 times but i think i get it

YOukan

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Mitchell
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 2:50 am 
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wow, i like it
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Merrill
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 7:00 am 
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Love the broken imagery. Great job.

What does "I am ... fallen" mean, exactly? It's the only line that doesn't fit to me.

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LoathedVermin72
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:14 pm 
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Merrill Stubing wrote:
Love the broken imagery. Great job.

What does "I am ... fallen" mean, exactly? It's the only line that doesn't fit to me.

Well, I guess it kind of goes along with the whole insecurity and broken theme. But I guess it's sort for personal reasons as well.

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