Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 2:51 pm Posts: 9961 Location: Sailing For Singapore
For Ocean's Twelve:
George : Hey guys, remember that movie we all did a few years back called Ocean's Eleven?
Brad : Course we do, we had such a great time.
Julia : And let's not forget we made stacks of money on it. It was a hit!
George : Well here's an idea….Let's make a sequel!
Matt : Fantastic idea! I mean the first one had all of us in it but most of all it was directed, had cool music, had lots of us in it and had a great script.
Brad : The script? Oh yeah, the script, whatever.
Julia : Let's do it. Everyone will love seeing us mugging it up on the screen. Steven Soderbergh's a friend of mine so he'll love directing us again.
George : Yeah, he'll do it. He won't have to work too hard though because it's got us in it. In fact he can just stuff around and experiment with all sorts of stupid camera angles.
Matt : Won't that just confuse the audience and make them dizzy?
George : Stuff that! Just so long as everyone can make out it's us up there on the screen they'll love it!
Matt : And the music??
Brad : Pfft! Music? No one goes to the movies for music. They want to see stars. Like us! Let's just have any old stupid music for this one.
Matt : That's fine. What about the script?
Brad : What is it with you and the script? Hey here's an idea. Julia, you're so famous and wonderful…
Julia : So are you Brad.
Brad : Thanks Julia. What I was saying was how about we have an entire sequence where your character pretends to be you! Everyone knows you're fantastic so they'll love it!
Matt : Great idea Brad. How do we fit that into the script?
George : Who cares??? It's Julia! Everyone will love it!
Julia : OK. How about we get someone else as famous and wonderful as us to join in the cast? The audience will love that.
George : Yeah, let's get Bruce Willis in a pointless uncredited cameo. He's never been too fussy about what movies he's made before. He's bound to say yes.
Matt : How do we fit him into the script?
George : Who cares??? It's Bruce Willis. Everyone will love it!
Julia : OK, who else?
Brad : I'm way ahead of you here, Julia. I've got a famous wife so let's get someone who is famous and wonderful, with a famous husband and who they audience will love if they see her and I having a romantic scene.
All : Catherine Zeta Jones!
George : I'll call her and see.
(Ring Ring)
Catherine : Hello. George : Hi Catherine, George Clooney here. You might remember working with me in Intolerable Cruelty…the audience loved it!
Catherine : Hi George. What's up?
George : We're making a sequel to Ocean's Eleven. It's got me and Brad and Julia and Matt in it. How'd you like to be in it too?
Catherine : Yeah sure. What's it about?
George : Who cares?? It's got me and Brad and Julia and Matt and you in it!!
Catherine : OK. But how about we film it in Europe? The audience will love that!
George : It's a deal. See ya.
Catherine : Bye
Julia : So how'd it go?
George : She's in AND she had a great idea. She reckons we could film it somewhere in Europe.
Brad : Fantastic!
Matt : So how does that fit into the script?
Julia : Who cares about the script!! It's got us in it! And anyone who liked Ocean's Eleven will get sucked into seeing it and by then it's too late for them to worry about the script because they've already paid their money.
George : And besides they'll love it because it's got me and Julia and Matt and Brad AND Catherine in it AND it will be filmed in Europe. Everyone will love it!
Unfortunately, it's so elementary, and the big time investors behind the drive in the stock market aren't so stupid. This isn't the false economy of 2000.
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