As compared to the LotR "shit, that was cool."

I fully expect this to age poorly, for all the reasons I've already stated.

Shit yeah.

i could have used 20 more minutes of dwarves washing dishes

"that's not what Bilbo likes"

This movie looks hilarious.

If what you crave is a Lord of the Rings sequel featuring a sight gag wizard with bird poop in his hair who rides a rabbit sleigh, orcs (or like creatures) who deliver one-liners after being disemboweled, humorous beheading sequences played for cheap laughs, extended dish-cleaning footage, and lots of fight-scene ideas lifted straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean...this is your movie.

Honestly, though, it was enjoyable enough. Not worth seeing twice (unless the sequels rock muh socks, in which case I could see doing the "let's just watch the set" thing next time my wife is pregnant and ruined), and not up to the standards of the previous trilogy, but not a Phantom Menace or Crystal Skull level destructive. Just cornier and plodding. If you view the original trilogy as THE story, and this movie as ancillary or bonus material, it's fine. If you try to think of it as an equal part of the telling of the story, the comparison hurts it.

Bonus: one of the two very bored guys sitting in front of me offered the following thought as the credits rolled: "Shit, white people is weird." The more I think on it, the more this summarizes Lord of the Rings entirely. And maybe Tom Cruise, too.

That's what bilbo baggins hates.

Is this movie better or worse than Shrek?

See, to me, that's what I think TH should have been: a smaller, more humble film with some Celtic flavour and a few bumbling hobbits.

if i show up thirty minutes late, will i miss anything important?

This really could have been at most two movies. In the next, the desolation of Smaug

Clearly needed to be included. That scene was in no way the kind of thing that could be saved for the director's cut box set. It was masterful. Visual poetry.