So, the film department at UW-Milwaukee is holding film recording auditions for their student film department. I have nothing better to do, so I will be performing a monologue, I guess preferably from a movie.
Patrick Bateman: I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where, uh, Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as, uh, anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your ass. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and, uh, Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
Harry: Listen, my name is Harry Caul. Can you hear me? Don't be afraid. I know you don't know who I am, but I know you. There isn't much to say about myself. I - was very sick when I was a boy. I was paralyzed in my left arm and my left leg and couldn't walk for six months. A doctor said that I'd probably never walk again. My mother used to lower me into a hot bath - it was therapy. One time the doorbell rang and she went down to answer it. I started sliding down. I could feel the water starting to come up to my chin, to my nose, and when I woke up, my body was all greasy from the holy oil she put on my body. And I remember being disappointed that I survived. When I was five, my father introduced me to a friend of his, and for no reason at all, I hit him right in the stomach with all my strength. And he died a year later. He'll kill you if he gets the chance. (he can no longer see her in the fog) I'm not afraid of death...but I am afraid of murder.
Patrick Kenzie: Cheese, if you ever disrespect her again like that, I'm gonna pull your fuckin' card, okay? So you're saying you didn't do it, fine. We'll take your money, and we'll be on our way. When it turns out you're lying, I'm gonna spend every nickel of that money to fuck you up. I'm gonna bribe cops to go after you, I'm gonna pay guys to go after your weak fuckin' crew, and I'm gonna tell all the guys I know that you're a C.I. and a rat, and I know a lot of people. And after that, you're gonna wish you listened to me, 'cause your shitty pool hall crime syndicate headquarters is gonna get raided, and your doped-up bitches are gonna get sent back to Laos, and this fuckin' retard right here is gonna be testifying against you for a reduced sentence, while you're gettin' cornholed in your cell by a gang of crackers. 'Cause from what I've heard, the guys that get sent up Concord for killing kids, life's a motherfucker.
Lono Veccio: Give me a couple minutes of your time. I've got a few things I'd like to talk to you about. You know, uh what you did wasn't really your fault. It's what they call a genetic defect. Mom calls it the gene. My grandfather had the gene. He came over on the boat from Ireland in 1912. And I guess he passed it on to my ol' man. My ol' man was a great guy, a real pussy cat, ya know, a hard worker, big sports fan. Sometimes on his way home from the docks he liked to stop in with the guys and have a couple of beers, ya know. I remember comin' home from school one day and the whole house was dark.Couldn't figure it out. Heard my mom crying' off in the dark someplace. I was old enough at that point I could reach the light switch. I turned the lights on and I saw2what he did to her. So I went to my room and I got the baseball bat; Mickey Mantle model my ol' man give me for Christmas. And I found the ol' man passed out in the bath tub. And I tattooed him. Needless to say, when I came home every day from school after that, the house was lit up like Ebbetts field. And the ol' man never drank again. So all I'm saying' to you is if you want to drink, you go ahead and drink. But if I ever find out you laid your hands on that girl again, Me and Mr. Mantle are gonna pay you a visit, my friend!
Ripley: Whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful - it all makes sense, doesn't it? Inside your head. You never meet anybody who thinks they're a bad person or that they're cruel. ... Don't you put the past in a room, in the cellar, and lock the door and just never go in there? Because that's what I do. ... Then you meet someone special and all you want to do is toss them the key, say open up, step inside, but you can't because it's dark, and there are demons, and if anybody saw how ugly it was... I keep wanting to do that - fling open the door - let the light in, clean everything out. If I could get a huge eraser and rub everything out... starting with myself...
May . Thank God for the rain... which has helped wash away the garbage and trash off the sidewalks. I'm working long hours now. : in the afternoon to : sometimes : in the morning. Six days a week, sometimes seven days a week. It's a long hustle, but if keeps me real busy. I can take in $$$$ a week, sometimes more when I do if off the meter. All the animals come out at night. Whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies. Sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, to Harlem. I don't care. Don't make no difference to me. If does to some. Some won't even take spooks. Don't make no difference to me.
_________________ absinthe makes the heart grow fonder And so it goes...
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:15 pm Posts: 25452 Location: Under my wing like Sanford & Son Gender: Male
The piece from The Conversation is far and away the strongest for what you're doing. Just cut the line "he'll kill you if he gets the chance" and it's perfect.
_________________ Now that god no longer exists, the desire for another world still remains.
The piece from The Conversation is far and away the strongest for what you're doing. Just cut the line "he'll kill you if he gets the chance" and it's perfect.
do you think it'd be alright if i stick that line at the very end? After I say, "but i am afraid of murder"
i once did this monologue in high school. i can still recite it verbatim.
...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceedest on to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.
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