Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 6:30 am Posts: 6116 Location: NC
I love Mel Brooks... I think he's the greatest comedic mind of our time. And he's had some classic lines in his movies...
From Blazing Saddles:
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Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Elderly woman: Up yours nigger.
[the lynch mob comes across a toll-booth in the middle of the desert]
Taggart: Someone's gotta go back for a shit-load of dimes
Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake, but very puzzled.
Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.
From Young Frankenstein
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Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No..."Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
[following Igor's botched attempt to interpret Dr. Frankenstein's charade clues while being attacked by the monster]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: SEDA-GIVE?
Igor: I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just... followed it down. Call it... a hunch. Ba-dum chi.
History of the World part 1
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Marcus Vindictus: What bait must I use to catch your love? I am your servant.
Empress Nympho: Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits.
Comicus: So, have you heard about this new guys, the "Christians"? They are so poor... that they only have ONE God! But... We Romans are rich. We got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation, but I here that thats coming quickly"
Roman Officer: Do you know the penalty for a slave that strikes a Roman citizen?
[people in the crowd raise hands enthusiastically]
Roman Officer: Ok, you. You had your hand up first.
Man in crowd: Death by torture!
Roman Officer: No. You.
Man in crowd: Crucifiction!
Roman Officer: No. You.
Man in crowd: They shove a living snake up your ass!
Roman Officer: Ah, no... but that's very creative.
The Producers
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Singer: Don't be stupid, be a smarty. Come and join the Nazi party.
Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?
Spaceballs
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Lone Starr: A million? That's unfair.
Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to payor but not to payee. But you're gonna pay it, or else!
Barf: Or else what?
Pizza the Hutt: Tell him, vinnie.
Vinnie: Or else pizza is gonna send out for *you*!
Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?
Dark Helmet: So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
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Blinkin: This never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while - oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My three brothers?
Blinkin: Died of the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog Pogo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin
Robin Hood: My first matter of business I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... My friend Achoo.
Crowd: A black sheriff.
Blinkin: He's black!
Achoo: Hey it worked in Blazing Saddles!
crowd: yeah
Achoo: Hey, Blinkin!
Blinkin: Did you say "Abe Lincoln"?
i'd like to extend a laurel and hearty handshake to the town of rock ridge's new....nigger.
_________________ i was dreaming through the howzlife yawning car black when she told me "mad and meaningless as ever" and a song came on my radio like a cemetery rhyme for a million crying corpses in their tragedy of respectable existence
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 3:02 pm Posts: 10690 Location: Lost in Twilight's Blue
You have the ring....and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
_________________ Scared to say what is your passion, So slag it all, Bitter's in fashion, Fear of failure's all you've started, The jury is in, verdict: Retarded
_________________ i was dreaming through the howzlife yawning car black when she told me "mad and meaningless as ever" and a song came on my radio like a cemetery rhyme for a million crying corpses in their tragedy of respectable existence
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