I admit, I'm one stubborn bastard when it comes to my own work. But how can I not be?

I write my first set of pages and I am critiqued by other students who tell me it is too slow moving, but with good build up. Okay, what? That's right, I don't appeal to today's fast editing films that leave no room for substance. I build my story up brick by brick. And I think my professor would agree with the other students, because he wants us to produce something that will catch the eye of a Hollywood producer.

Fuck that. I write for myself and only myself. Then why am i taking the class? I dont know good question. Has anyone taken such a class?

I'm pursuing two simultaneous degrees, both film-related. Yes, I've taken such a class, many of them, and understand your frustration.

Writing for yourself and yourself only is an incredibly shitty strategy if you want to pursue this as a profession, though.

It'll probably also result in shitty, tortuously onanistic screenplays, too.

i had to look up "onanistic"

yeah, but im adapting and giving my own interpretive view on a non-fiction book in which the author (a pulitzer winner) doesn't mind me doing. So if it's shitty or not, the author said they would read it. And they have connections. Crossing my fingers.

is there gonna be any rug bumbing in this picture? any rug bumping?

this was a good post despite the subject matter of which I care little

Yeah I have taken screenwriting classes and I have to wholly agree here. This is why I opted out of the film industry and decided to go into the game industry, more creative freedom. Well, maybe not more but at least if I have good ideas they will actually get made potentially instead of sitting on a shelf.

your first script generally sucks, just keep at it. though those people don't know what they are talking about, neither do most of the people who'll see your movie. so take it with a grain of salt, but know that in those comments that sound stupid, there can be helpful things hinted at.

I hear a lot of writers say that the first script sucks, but I listen to that and I meticulously and methodically write my own knowing that and feel it in my bones that it is something special. Now, within all that self-assurance may lie my weakness, which may turn into a bad script. Fuck, I don't know.

we all think its great while we write it... work hard on it. you'll learn that way, but you'll only really know when you move on the next thing

Randy, I would advise that your first pages hook the reader somehow, as the beginning of a first act has to hook the viewer. Especially if it's a subject in which the majority has no knowledge of or interest in. I know, it sounds like "Hollywood as usual" but that's not where I'm coming from. It has nothing to do with fast-paced editing or anything like that, it's really about effective story-telling, regardless of the medium.

I think you need to try to get at the root of the critiques, understand what they're really saying. When people says something is "slow moving" it could mean a number of things. For example: Not enough characterization to make up for a plot that hasn't kicked into gear yet, or is a slow-burner. I'm not saying that that's what you've got here, but if someone's not getting what you're doing, try and listen to what's not working for them. I'm also not saying you should change what you're doing, because not everyone's ideas are good, and if you believe in what you're doing, keep at it. But not listening to objective feedback can sometimes doom your work.

BUT, if the feedback you're getting is that it's got "good buildup" figure out what you can do to enhance what's happening around the buildup, whether through characterization, dialogue .. you know, the human stuff that people will respond to more than anything, and keep their interest.

Think of it less like a novel, and more like a short story or novella. A screenplay is tricky, because it's specifically for a visual medium. The screenplay doesn't start and end with the screenplay; it's for the screen, above all else. Keeping that in mind is crucial.

Good luck man!

I've been there, and it's kind of obnoxious. However, there are two things for you to realize:
a) If you're receiving feedback that it's too slow, perhaps you should take that into account. I mean, it's a random sampling of a potential audience... will they be hooked? It's especially important (obviously) to get your reader/viewer hooked in the first few minutes, especially if your goal is to shop your screenplay around. There are people who literally read stacks of screenplays every day, and if you don't grab their attention from the get-go... well, you know. It sucks that the industry works in this way.

b) In my experience with these types of classes, there are two parts: the creative side and the business side. Yes, you need to learn about story, and how to build characters, and all of that good stuff -- but, unfortunately, that goes hand in hand with making it marketable. My professor for this particular class (co)wrote Frida, so a lot of her class was geared toward how the industry works (in her opinion).

I had a performance the other day in an acting class that I thought my teacher was going to find original and challenging (from my perspective) and he found a ton of things wrong with it. I was pissed for a little while but I made a few of the changes he suggested and liked my piece much more as a result.

The point being, often times criticism is worth listening to.

Just have a character notice a gun, possibly loaded, mounted over a fireplace in the first act. No further changes necessary, friendo.

Is the screenplay about a sassy robot in a world that doesn't quite understand him?