On the cover of this DVD, it says things like “Riveting”, “Informative”, “Eye Opening”, which are all very true……but it’s missing one other important description: Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

I viewed this film with my own two eyes, and I still don’t believe it. This is the most frightening piece I’ve ever watched, and I watch some fucked up shit. It chilled me to the bone more than any so called “horror” movie I can ever imagine watching. Hannibal Lecter has nothing on the bible belt.

It is just plain criminal what is being done to these poor innocent children. For once in my life, I wouldn’t have any problem with a large group of people coming together and shouting in protest – “Will somebody please think of the children?!” Most of these kids never had a chance, and it’s truly sad to see. Watching them speak in tongues for example, made me especially uneasy as well as speechless. I really don’t know how much more of that I could have even taken to be honest, as it freaks me out to no end, and sends shockwaves up and down my spine.

I started taking notes at the beginning of this film, just for fun, and to kind of keep an accurate account of what I had witnessed without having to watch it again. I could tell from the very start that it probably wasn’t going to be something I’d want to re-watch right away, and I was right. It was that disturbing. No more than ten seconds after I started jotting things down, I saw a young girl sitting in church writing down notes as well. As if she was actually learning something worthwhile and meaningful, that could help her in the real world. It was an incredibly alarming and depressing thing to witness. The worst part about it is that it’s not her fault. There really isn’t too much this sweet little girl can do about it. She’s being “taught”, along with all the other helpless children, by adult figures that they trust and respect, that Jesus is the only way, and if they do not follow his words written in the bible that they will not be saved, and will burn in hell. In a nutshell. So many things this giant monster cunt of a minister says are completely wrong, or at least very, very questionable, yet she declares them as absolute truth. I wanted to jab my pen into her eye just about every moment she appeared on the screen.

Even more rage inducing, is the fact that she whole heartedly admits that they target young children, because it’s better to get them at an early age, so they can become “warriors” and join the army. Somehow I don’t think brainwashing is what Jesus had in mind. You can see that all logical thought and reason has completely vanished from this woman’s mind, which is also a sad thing to behold. She is mentally unstable and needs help in the worst way, but it still doesn’t excuse her from the crimes she is committing against these impressionable youths. I believe she should be thrown behind bars with all the others sinners – thieves, rapists, and murderers – she’s equally as bad, and equally a part of what is wrong with society today. She should be forced to read books on science, books containing any kind of facts really, until one day hopefully she is cured. The problem is, she is so far gone that it may already be too late for her. This woman was probably taken aside and had her mind abused at an early age, just the same as she is doing to these children. It’s an endless vicious cycle that apparently is growing larger and larger each and every day.

Other worthy offenders that will burn in the fiery depths of hell alongside this bestial woman, are the ever so confident house wives, who have decided it’s best to home school their children. You know, because they have more knowledge at their disposal to bestow upon them than actual fucking teachers in an actual fucking school. Granted, I went to public school. Yes, some are bad. Yes, some of the teachers really couldn’t give a flying fuck about anything. I hear your desperate cries for a well rounded edumacation, Mrs. Flanders. Still, a part of me thinks that maybe you doing it yourself isn’t the best option. Just call it a hunch. Of course, my hunch is confirmed mere seconds later when she utters this unforgettable gem:

“Creationism is the only possible answer to all of the questions”
WOW.
I’d be lying if I said that one didn’t catch me completely off guard. I had to pause the movie and get something to drink after that one. It pains me to know that people can honestly say something like that with a straight face…….and pass it along to their loved ones. As truth! I think I threw up a little in my mouth before resuming the film.

All this mind you, is my reaction BEFORE they even get to bible camp. That’s when all hell really breaks loose.

BTW, I absolutely love the fact that Bible Camp takes place on “Devil’s Lake” That is just so awesome in so many ways.

For the minister, her precious day at Bible Camp starts with her staring profusely in their mirror, making sure she looks pretty for her audience of unsuspecting victims. She unloads half a can of hairspray into her pathetic spiky lesbo cut, thus widening the hole in the ozone layer a little more for good measure. I’m sure God would be proud. She is such an out of shape sweat hog, she actually declares how “exhausted” she is. From putting on hairspray! It’s embarrassing to watch. She belongs on the Maury Povich show, not out there in the real word influencing the government. But that’s what she’s doing! Her and all her bible thumping George Bush supporting friends of the congregation. We soon find Fat Fuck Barrel Girl warning us that “The devil goes after the young. Those that cannot fend for themselves.” Hey…….wait a minute. Isn’t that what you’re doing? YOU ARE SATAN!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Some more whacky antics and one liners are delivered throughout the remainder of this film that had me crying both tears of laughter and tears of sadness. Like when Satan Bitch called Harry Potter a “Warlock” and said if he brought his mumbo jumbo magic spells around in this day in age he would be burned alive. Or something to that affect. I laughed pretty hard, but instantly felt really bad about. Harry Potter books are bad and wrong, but parody shirts about Jesus instead of Reese’s, are ok. Jesus supports Hershey! That’s cool, I had no idea.
Apparently he also supports kids crying their eyes out, and making them feel bad about themselves for no fucking reason whatsoever.

I feel bad because these people seriously need help. Also, they are slowly but very surely (as they grow older) fucking up our country in every way imaginable. Most people don’t even know about it. It’s a silent enemy, like AIDS. I recommend this documentary to everyone, and everyone should have their friends and family watch it as well. I would really like to do more things to thwart their evil ways, but I really don’t know where to begin, aside from going down there with a black van and just kidnapping the shit out of a bunch of the kids……but I’ll probably get arrested for that. If anyone has any bright ideas, please let me know. This is truly disturbing and it must stop.

Amen.

I wish they had added a post-script about that gay-bashing pastor guy in the film who was found to be addicted to meth and in love with a gay prostitute like a week before the movie came out.

But yeah, terrifying film all around. Kids deserve a childhood.

yeah, this movie was disturbing as hell

it's been a while since I watched it, but it enraged me greatly

That fat woman is a psycho.

I heard something about that, but never read the story.
That guy was awful. When he was talking to the little kid with the rat tail, you could almost see the horns growing out of his head. I was praying he would fall off the stage and break his neck.

That's all pretty wild. Though not really that surprising I guess.
I guess he'll be burning in hell with teh warlock Harry Potter.

haggard is pure comedy ... until you remember how powerful he was.

by the way, we do have a thread on this, yet in news and debate:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=50808&hilit=jesus

"Harry Potter is the devil"

Hey Al, I'm not too sure, are you a fan of organized religion?

having spent years in the belt though not born/raised there, I encountered plenty of adjusted adults who grew up in that culture. geez, it's not like the religion is going to devour the children. it is just a shallow and misinformed movement to protect them from things that in extremes could/will. most 16 year olds know the score, and by 18/their freshmen year in college, they are well on their way to becoming the businessmen and women of the future in the south. the hanger-ons who never get out and still are believing, I'm pretty sure that's occurring at the same percentage rate in other regions of the country for the people in a specific locale, though whatever cultural reproduction that is occurring in those places isn't of a "religious" nature per se... though it's still a value driven ideology that is just as constraining and even has standard ways to denounce people different than the kind it creates

remember the part when the kids are all crying and looking like one of their family members' throat had just been slashed in front of them? how is that not child abuse?

fyi, the bible camp was shut down after this came out. they were getting heaps of criticism. which is not to say other bible camps like this don't exist, because they do.

Jim Carey could play that dickheads part well.

I love it. It's the best!

this really should be in the horror section of your local rental store.

no joke

this is definitely one that if you watch with someone else, you need to pause every once in awhile so you can stop and talk about the absurdity of what you just witnessed