You're really pretty talented. I actually had the same kind of style when I was at that age.

got bored and started writing haikus a few days ago.

My favorite so far:

please do not leave me
she said again, this morning
her mouth in shadow


not sure why is appeals to me, but it has more emotion behind it (for me) than the others I;ve written about fireflies and stuff.

GG

when it all comes down to it, i think that life is like a puzzle. we spend our entire lives trying to gather the proper pieces that we need to make us whole. for most of us it will take many years to accomplish this and in some cases we might not ever finish the puzzle. along the way we experiment and try different pieces out to see if they fit well, and sadly most of them don't really work out. we just end up tossing them into the used pile and moving onto the next batch. constantly searching. the hardest part of the whole process is that we know what pieces we need or what pieces we want. so when we don't find them right away we often get discouraged and sad. it's nothing to worry about though, because eventually the right piece will come along and we will be one step closer to determining what this life means. once all of the pieces are in place and you've made something you just have to be able to look at it and feel like you've accomplished something.

maybe all life is about is trying to be happy
maybe all life is about is trying not to be sad
maybe all life is about is trying to be content

somewhere in between
the loss and gain
i lost the inspiration
that made this seem worthwhile

what was once set in stone
has been washed away
by the wave that has lifted me up
above it all
and discarded me into this new life.

She only looked at me once
Since that day, I have memorized her eyes
There are days and weeks and now a year
That have passed
Where I have worshipped her in the form of regret
For my senseless, serious lies
But, and it is amazing, she is still smiling now
Someone has seen her more than me
Better than me
And I can only pray for her with silent delight
In the memory of her cinnamon sprinkled skin
And light a candle in her name
With the unknowing fire of the recollection
Of that look

There are no Christmas cards
Or no toasts on this midnight

I will sit alone here with her
And her eyes will be an alter of innocence
I have the faith that she is now more blessed
That the sacrifice I've made of her
Has brought the fresh grace
The one, the only
That ressurects a joyfull boy
From the pit of a man burdened with time

I don't even know if she believes in all this
But will you bring it to her anyway?
The proof will be in this experience
She will live then and now
With eternal vision in this temporal tunnel

And don't tell her I sent you
She wouldn't believe her eyes
Let her have the thing greater than all else
Allow her to see

And please, please, see yourself what I have seen
You will then have the gift you are bearing to her.
I will scream it out, I will tell you in truth:
She only looked at me once
And once was enough

On the Mend (song lyrics)

Verse
Disappointed about the lack of
Faith and hearts working as one

Abused, neglected,
Disaffected, the heart broken

You're at a loss

Pre-chorus
Could it be worse
No, 'cos it's getting better
Stiffening up and seeing the truth

Chorus
On the mend
You just can't pretend
That life won't eventually work itself out
Be a friend
Make your amends

And don't lose yourself

Verse

Rejuvenated by the promise of
Faith and hearts working as one

Loved, and redirected,
Emancipated, the knot undone

You're the promise

Pre-chorus
Could it be worse
No, 'cos it's getting better
Stiffening up and seeing the truth

Chorus
On the mend
You just can't pretend
That life won't eventually work itself out
Be a friend
Make your amends

And don't lose yourself
---------------------------------------

Girl on Bends (Song lyrics)

Around a bend, you can hear a sharp whistle
As she heads off to work another day
She's thinking she has got it all figured out
But what she's figured out, she figures along the way

She takes her time at the stop lights
Often comes to a halt just to turn
Figures she has it all right
But this baby just puts her lovers in burns

Chorus:
The nicest guy can be the worst of enemies
As soon as her mood sets in
But then as soon as she has herself all figured out
She believes it's she that's free from sin

Later again, she's at the bend
Her turn signal is the opposite way
From the place she came before
She now goes home to play

Another guy is on the phone
He lives just a block away
Her bedroom door is always open
He can make himself comfortable and stay

Chorus:
The nicest guy can be the worst of enemies
'Cos she'll forever have her way
She'll break him down into nothing
Take him for everything, like trash -- throw him away

Out-tro:

She often sees that she's alone
As she shuts the door on someone else
Thinks that she's got it all figured out
But the truth is
She's playing with herself.
-----------------------------------------

A Tear and the Sky

The sun set before the overcast could really fade away
The blues and greens never quite came out to play
The sheets on the bed had been changed
But there was no time to fall asleep
All these moments, all these hours wasted
In regret

There's a pestilence that lingers near
A woman can tear your heart apart in fear
She can sell you an image that's not really there
And when you're lost, she no longer cares
A man torn and frayed, remiss from time
Can't move on quite yet, lives on in pantomime

It feels so awkward to know that she goes on
Without care for you
Her anger far too strong
And yet you still feel sad because you would've been happy
Happy to have just been a friend
But she's the bitter one and you're better off without her in the end.
----------------------------------------------------

Confession of this July 4, 2005

Could've found ourselves enjoying the days
The bluer skies, the greener grasses
Sips and drinks of lemonade
And found ourselves in the arms of each other
Praying for each other
Eyes lost in wonder
Could've had better moments to care
All the things we could share
And all in love and what is fair
Could've found ourselves anew
Each day, with love
And truth getting through
Could've found ourselves having this fourth of July
And looking to the sky
Having sparkles in our eyes
But you left me so now I wonder why
Why you said the things to make me cry
Why you wish for me to die
Why oh why couldn't that person I first met be alive
It's a happy, but confused day, this fourth of July
In the year of 2005.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Suburbia's Mistake

I see the suburbia
And the thievery of nature's goods
The trees that once brought life
Are turned into paper and wood

I look at the lakes and tributaries vanish
And we complain about others speaking Spanish
Wanting some of the same
Then forgetting the rest

The corporations and business have the people's interests at best
Keep them buying, keep them forever-in-debt
The deathbed of freedom comes
Hailed from the almighty credit check

A few palm trees are planted
While new roads are erected
No longer the lands that the Indians roamed
No longer where nature's morality stands correct

The pornography of it all remains everywhere
Cosmopolitan for Kids, Playboy, Redbook, and the Home Shopping Network
The pawns and thieves that set to disturb
And concerning balding men about their lost hair

The pills to swallow
The fluids to drink
They might make you stronger
Or make you bigger than you think

And love is bought in sold
Or at least lust is
Some say that our best is in our loins
But I think that's humanity's diss

I'll admit that I commit adultery and have committed adultery
Thought I knew what love was then
But love is not just what's between the sheets
There's more substance to all of it

But still this world confounds me
As I still repent
They scream, "Pleasure! Pleasure!" for every trivial thing
While deserving and should be practicing none of it

Fornication, greed, avarice, and cynicism
All painted in similar hues and colors
The blues of a clear sky is the truest thing
While the grey just disturbs us

A line should be drawn
Nature should have some battles to win
Because if we keep on taking everything
How will the ones of the future have this world to stay in?

I'll repent
I'm sorry for my lust
I'm sorry for my anger
I'm sorry for my acts in mistake

I hope God you forgive me
I know You do
You love all that You create
Doing all so lovingly

Please wash this world
Please wash the pain away
Please open our eyes
And make it a better world today

Father, I confess all my sins
And the ones I still make
Please break me while breaking the world
So we can learn from our mistakes.
-----------------------------------------------------

Consider This

Two clowns bearing a name that you wear
Often saying things to which no one cares
They sell you lies and say it's all about God
But it isn't only me saying that they're the frauds

I forgive and I do things to which to be forgiven
I know that sometimes I fail, but it's the peace to which I'm ultimately driven
I'm sorry that I make things wrong in transgression
But I'm human and I'm learning my lessons

You, on the other hand, think that you're perfectly alright
There's me, some other guy later, and another guy some other night
And you think that lust and love should co-exist and be tight
But I think you're forgetting something -- you're not always right

I can't keep on feeling sorry for you being such a little kid
You hate the damndest things
Me, begin happy for one,
And the rest, to be sure, as you consider, none of it you did

I'm sick and tired of your obsessions
Of all the things to be in your possession
And turn it all around like it's all them
Who's playing games now, my fairweather friend?

I love you today and yet it hurts
That the good of you only came in spurts
And now you leave me in your bitterness and anger
For calling your spades a spade, as you get stranger

Who are you kidding?
You have faults too
You just don't admit them
Like George W. Bush didn't too

I'm so tired of loving people who will later hate me
But that's what Christ did
So there's no use in baiting me
I still wish you well
You may wish me Hell
But I could care less
Except about wishing you well.
------------------------------------------

Hope (a poem)

There is hope for the world today
I see it in everyone's face
Even if their heart is misplaced
There's still something good, keeping pace
And we get tired because there's too much locomotion
Stop, think, evolve
End the commotion
And take a moment to just sit back and relax
And realize that you don't have the world up on your back
It doesn't take much to see what we all go through
We hurt, we fall, we fail, and we have scary places to go to
But it will all come to end
And there's a heaven for us to be friends forever again.
-----------------------------------------

I Wish the Hell Out of You

I wish the Hell out of you
I wish the stars to be true
I wish God to be with you
And the Devil be proved a fool

I wish your anger to stop
I wish the sun to rise
I wish the grey overcast fade
And let me again see your blue eyes

I wish for your caress
I wish for us to be our best
I wish for your happiness
And find us together again

I wish the hell out of you
I wish for other light besides the stars and moon
I wish for the sun to be
But most of all I wish for you to be free and happy

you come up to tell me
tell me you're leaving
what do you expect me to say?
i tell you i'm sorry
sorry i couldn't be what you wanted
nothing left to do but bid you farewell
and as you turn away
i can't help but think
no one ever told me love would be this hard.

Core


Self imprisonment
I suppose somewhere inside me
I yearn for freedom from
That which holds me stagnant
Overexaggeration turns underestimated
Emotion...
Emotion. Why the urgency to hide and
Slow the flow of that which could,
And perhaps will, improve, and
Heal the burning inside?
I am protecting my pain
It is mine
And I so badly want to keep my
Pain to myself
But, in doing so I am hurting
So many who cross me, or care for me,
Aching for love and acceptance,
Only to throw you down in the latter
Of our shared love
Yet anger and guilt not shared
Between me and you
You are blamed for all that is a
Mystery within myself...burning
Oh, I pray that I might someday
Throw a blanket over that angry
Child
If the strength is found within the
Core of my being
His tears soak my heart and
Weight it down
I am drowning, and I am tired,
And so very, very lonely
I am.

--Layne Staley

"Unrequited"


I could forever write verses about how I miss you
All the moments missed just thinking things through
How many wrongs I had done
How many bad things between each other
But all I ever wanted was just to be your lover
I didn't want games
I didn't want a broken heart
I wanted to write and write everything for you
Until death did us apart
I wanted to feel your skin heat from the crepuscular rays
I wanted our mouths to feel like oceans
I wanted your loins to feel ablaze
I wanted to sacrifice all so that I could be next to you
But I know one thing that had to remain
My Christian God as master
For you, that wouldn't do
So you put me to the pastures
Greener fields, perhaps on the other side
It is so easy for you
And I, the man, remains the one who cries
I just wish you'd consider the preciousness of intimacy
Because I would've waited happily for all
Just to know you in the infinity.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Jared Schaeffer

jared, i love you and your work.

"Neeupamard"

You wander in life so aimlessly
You question others in your own jealousy
Can you be this surreptitious?
I figure you as the fool
How do you do these things that you do?

You cater to others with nothing
Take, take, take and self-serving
I feel you hurt and wicked
I loved you, but drama was the queen
You shake the moral fabric of your being

Can you think about others for just a change?
You're twenty-three now, but you're insane
I feel like you live up to your name
Drama queen, your truth rings the same

You put feelings on a shelf
You feel like sex is only for good health
And you take all of another's wealth
I just figure you wish me hell
But I go on and wish you well

America's online and without you
Because you do what you do
You break so many hearts and are cruel
Drama queen, don't do these things
You could be happy and sing

End it now and make yourself change!
You're twenty-three now, and you only complain
I feel like you live up to your name
Drama queen, your truth rings the same

Could I take you to a better place?
Where there is a God and you have faith?
Could we walk alway in true love
Or at least you happy
Knowing someone is smiling above

I feel like there could be peace in you
Drama queen, don't do what you do
You could be happy and cool
And make the hate in all the fool
Drama queen, I still pray for you

You could end it now and feel happy today
You could smile more in refrain
You could go outside, play in the rain
Drama queen, just end the charade

You take my mind off everything
As the wind shifts patterns on your plane
It mystifies like evil eyes
Truly, nothing is the same

Things are calm when you leave
I just may take a swim
Like rolling thunder on a shoreline
When the tides come crashing in

Allow me to introduce you
To one of my lucky friends
I’m sure you two have met before
Somewhere from end to end

And now it’s time to say goodbye
I know you never end
That’s why I see you through the eyes
Of one of my lucky friends

nothing hurts more than when you hurt the one you love.
i can't even look into her eyes, for i so hate the reflection i see.
i deserve nothing you have to offer.
i know you still love me, i know not your reasons.
you still invite me over, and i wonder if it is to kill me.

i dont deserve you. the worst part is, i didnt even know it would hurt you.
i had no way of knowing, you told no one. but now i know, and now i vow to never do it again.

i don't deserve the likes of you.

look at them laughing, dancing with class
sipping expensive wine from a 2 dollar glass
her broken bow has sprung a leak
she's wreckage now in an untended creek

is this about getting your red wings?

i'm surrounded by my failed attempts at creativity.
notebooks full of inane lines never worthy to be seen or heard.
words not worthy of the chords played under them.

i am chords not worthy of accompaniment.

i'd be lost without her.

If i were to ever lose her, I could not go on. And some days, I feel as if I don't deserve to go on. I live, truly LIVE, to be with her, to do for her only what I can do. And i still feel it is not enough. I know i can only do so much, but I'd like to break down those barriers. I want to do too much, I need to be needed, i yearn to be wanted, I am a pathetic example of a human male, so unindependent, living off the affection and love of one so far superior it puts me in awe.

I know she'll never read this. I know I'll forget i wrote this. I know i'll forget this feeling, and i know it will return. I am living the time of my life, but this night, alone in my basement, it feels as low as it could get.

why won't she tell me what's wrong. i know it is nothing i did, and theres nothing i can do, but i need to know. i want to be there.

i'm a miserable failure if you don't feel comfortable enough to tell me.

what hasn’t been

i have always believed in the future
you can always count on changes
when things start to look up

no matter how hard you try
nothing lasts forever
and your feeble attempts to keep stability
will be useless in the end
as the future spirals into the past

it’s so hard to find a balance
between remembering the past
and looking toward the future.

Dear God

Father, I feel the time has come and passed
Vanished into memory's everlast
I feel a rush
The blood has cooled in my veins
Father, take away this pain
The world is so cold
My skin going blue and pale
I can't think as life's ending treachery prevails
I'm asking you for some enlightening
Bring me to life and quicken me
Father, I'm so sorry for things I've done and still do
I'm only human -- lust, feel, fall, cry, die, lose, win -- all the colors of my hue
God, forgive me and take me away
To a place where life really is
And not this wretched place today
I hope when I close my eyes
The bad and evil will quickly fade
And find myself in Your arms
Happiness for all instead of pain


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared Schaeffer[/u]

This is the first draft of something that I wrote. This is fairly amateurish because I'm not the best with words.

In that Summer (working title)

I met you in the summer
In the warm blue sky
When I first saw you walking by
I’ll never forget that moment when you caught my eye
The first time I talked to you
I thought it was a dream
Because everything I looked for
Was in you that I seen
I tried to get the nerve to ask you out
But I knew you were leaving
And time was running out
I never could get the nerve to do it
And when I did it was to late
Because I’ll never see you again
I just hope that you end up happy
And I’ll do the same
Because with in a year
We’ll forget each other’s names
I don’t know hurts the worst
That we’ll probably never see each other again
Or that you wont even be a memory
So this is goodbye
I bid you adieu
Maybe down the road I’ll see you
But I know that it won’t happen
This song is just self-punishment
For the time that I lost
But I’ll sing it to you
If our paths ever cross,
Again