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I'm not a citizen
of your social brigade,
I won't participate
in this glitter parade,
where everyone kisses
each other's ass,
if that's all this is for
then I think I'll pass.

Don't talk to me
about chivalry,
because you haven't
seen the way people
can be,
when they have the chance
to turn around
and a splitting heart
is the only sound.

Don't tell me what
you think I should do,
until you've walked a mile
inside my rugged shoe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

70 Sheets

Things always find a way to tear me up
inside,
some way somehow,
but with her as my shadow,
I can roll with the punches,
so thanks to the darkness,
thanks for the memories,
I'd gladly repay you if I knew how,
but all that I can manage
is so long and goodbye for now.

To think you once tore my insides out...
...so easy to scoop them back in...
...my lover...my friend...my enemy.
---

Pressure pressed against the heart,
tthe friction warms and increases
the beating,
but the heart needs no helping hand,
the heart feels no need to belong...
...to be accepted...the way man does...

Man will escape oppression if
he sees the chance
-if he can touch paradise
-can touch freedom...
he will give his life
to take a breath
free from obligation.

---

Who wants to talk?
No one but me,
as the gapping rewind remains steady,
so soon I can be ready
-for when you turn around,
there's not a sound.

There's no sound coming from anywhere
inside this room,
the silence in the open never fails to resume,
though my heart is screaming.

Who will ever know what I continue to feel?
It's useless to me-spinning this wheel
where a new day begins-when my life ends.

How can people take you seriously?
I'd rather die than follow what
you say will be,
those bruises are proving that to you,
for what you wished of me,
what is meant to be,
is already coming true.

--

Step upon a good intention
for all irony aside,
it is not the grudge or conflict
but the harmony you try to hide.

From the shriek of a mechanized pencil
to the valleys of diction that follow,
the truth that is soon surfacing
for some-will be hard to swallow.

There's a time that comes
when sacred smiles just won't do,
scrap the bottom of the barrel
with the prize under your shoe.

Kill all that remains
claim you were nowhere near it,
hollow eyes can hypnotize
molding hatred breaks the spirit.

--
Stone

Stone,
stone wall faces all,
asks you to enter
then makes you crawl.

Stone wall won't negotiate,
won't compromise for your favor
and if you push against the wall,
prepare to meet your maker.

Grudges,
friends and enemies,
plot this wall's agenda,
the wall lives alone,
grey and dry,
while the outside world's magenta.

Desperate to succeed,
begs and pleads to fall,
but no matter-world keeps turning,
stone wall faces all.



...creative rant that a friend of mine creadted that y'all might get a kick out of.... (it's a long rant so i apologize if i take up TOO much space)

The Ultimate Rant
Love sucks. So, what's new? It's been the same story ever since man stopped picking up women by clubbing them over the head and dragging them back to a cave. People are always saying that we must learn from history, be careful not to repeat our mistakes. Yet, time and time again, we do so anyway. So many guys just don't understand the system.

Well, I do.

So, as a community service to the nice guys of the world, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. That's right, I've got the key to the golden treasure of the sun God, and I'm opening it up. So, all you nice guys out there who spend inordinate amounts of time wondering why you're still single, listen up. Turn off the tv, close the door, turn off your cell phones, put out the cat, and stop listening to What Could Have Been #47 as she whines about how Jerk #5172 doesn't pay her enough attention. This is important. Now, come closer. Closer. The secret, the golden secret that you've been looking for since puberty is...

Women are different from men.

No shit, Sherlock, right? Yeah, you'd think. But the sad thing is that so many men just don't realize this simple fact. They don't realize it, and it doomes them to fall into that vile trap, that horrible pit of evil and despair, that wretched hell that no man would dare sentence his most hated enemy to: The Friend Zone.

Here's how it works. You meet a girl. She's nice, and attractive. You take the time to become her friend, and get to know her. You earn her trust and respect. And she, in turn, wins you over with her personality; the little things she does, her cute little smile, her energy, the way she farts and then giggles about it, yada yada yada, etc. You become friends, close friends, and then you fall in love with her. It's a good system, right? Getting to know her for who she is, falling in love with her true identity and not the person she pretends to be or even wants to be. Establishing a firm and solid friendship based on trust and respect for each other. Yeah...that's the man way of doing things. Smart. Practical. Rational.

But you forget that women are highly irrational. Sorry ladies, but the truth hurts.

The main problem here is that you nice guys are expecting the women to do the same. Get to know you, become good friends, great friends, and then lovers. Nuh-uh. Don't work that way. You see, a women will be everything with you but your girlfriend. She'll spend time with you every day, open up to you, tell you her secrets, basically, go the whole 8 yards with you. She won't be your girlfriend because you are missing that crucial ninth yard; which just happens to be the end zone.

The key thing is attraction. She has to be attracted to you. If not, you will never have a relationship with her. Never. Don't get the wrong ideas - there's a lot more to it than just your looks and your clothes. Granted, that's part of it. Girls have different tastes, and maybe your appearance is exactly what you're looking for. Maybe it's not. Most of the time, it's not. They're very particular, you know. But don't worry. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, or Ricky Martin minus the gay, all hope is not lost. What most nice guys don't realize is that you can create attraction. This is actually necessary if you want to hook up with a girl who isn't initially attracted to you. Without attraction, you will be banished to the Friend Zone to rot away like leftover meatloaf in the back of the fridge.

You need to create attraction; you need to do it early, and you need to do it well. You have to establish, right off the bat, that you are a possible romantic interest. You need to give her a challenge - something to work on with you. Don't be up front and open with her right from the get-go; make her earn it. Strangely enough, she wants to do it. If you come out of the box preassembled and ready to date, that won't be any fun for her. You'll never build attraction. Most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, do not be her friend. Suitor, yes. Friend, no. "But I like this girl." You whine. "Why wouldn't I want to be friends with her?" Listen to me carefully now, this is important: fuck that. You got it? One more time? Ok: fuck that. You wanna be her friend? You want her to call you up in the middle of the night to complain about her guy problems to you? You want to invest all of your free time in her to get absolutely no returns? You want to be everything to her emotionally, but have her laying down for every other guy she meets? Fine. Be my guest. You want to be one of the guys mounting her (pardon my bluntness), listen to me. You can be her friend later. If the relationship does work out, or even if it doesn't, you can become her friend then. Suitors can become friends. But friends will never become suitors.

The process actually works in the opposite for women. Men can meet a women they have no attraction to, get to know her, fall in love, and be totally into her. Not women. As women get to know a guy they have no attraction for, the possibility goes further and further away. It doesn't take long before the possibility is completely gone. The Friend Zone is unescapeable. And you know you're fully immersed when she says the following or a variation of - "I'm looking for a guy just like you/why can't more guys be like you?/You're good boyfriend material, you'll make some woman happy some day/I don't get why you're single/You're such a good friend."

Girls, do you have any idea how much it sucks to hear that shit? Do you? You think you're complimenting him, but you might as well just pull back and kick him squarely in the crotch. Same difference. It's like strapping a convict into the electric chair, going over to the lever, and saying something like "You could have been found innocent so easily" or "You were so close to being pardoned." Bzzzt.

You know what really sucks? When the girl and the guy..."friend"...inevitably have that conversation about sex, and the girl says "I dunno, you and me...that would just be really weird and awkward. You're like a brother or something." Gee. Thanks. Weird and awkward. Doesn't that just make my day! Oh, I've never had the distinct pleasure of having this one inflicted on me, but I have heard of guys who've had "It would be kind of disgusting, wouldn't it?" flung upon them. Holy shit.

And tact joins rational thinking in the list of traits that men would die to see women posess.

So...yeah, attraction. And even if she thought you were cute to begin with, or you did a bang-up job of creating it, the game isn't over. You need to sustain it. You can be dating her for months, but if she loses her attraction, you'll be "LBJF'ed", which is, of course, "Let's Just Be Friends"'ed. Or just F'ed, that works too on so many levels. Let's just be friends. Jesus Christ that's awful. I think I'd rather be dipped in chum and tossed into shark-infested waters than hear that.

I'm sure there are you non-believers out there who at this point think I'm completely full of shit. Mommy has told you to just be yourself, because you're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like you. Seriously though, you're a good guy, whom people like, and if you just be patient the right girl will come along. And this is true...partially. It will be true when you get into your 30's. By this time, women are desperate, and finally, rational. They'll grow to love you as you do for them. Or they'll settle for you. Whatever works, right? You just have to decide if, after years of finishing last, if you're going to be bitter about it and give them a cold shoulder in return, or forgive past sins and take them in. And you probably will forgive them, because guys are pretty horny, and the discovery of Viagra didn't help.

But the whole "Just be yourself" bit...ha! You've been yourself this whole time...has it worked? No! Attraction is the key. You can be yourself later. You have to play the game now if you want to hook up with the girls you want. So, the question is, do you want to hook up, or do you want to continue spending Friday nights home alone, listening to Vertical Horizon's "Everything You Want" a thousand times on repeat and crying to yourself "Why am I still single while the jerks are racking up women?" Maybe watching the Star Trek repeats on TNN. Hey, that was a good show.

You're probably wondering how to create attraction at this point. Well, it's not my job to tell you. I've opened the door, it's your job to go in. There are many resources on the web where you can find various approved methods of creating attraction. Or, you can use that radical and innovative concept called "the real world" (no, not the MTV show) and ask a guy who knows the game and plays it well. Much like Pat Morita, I have shown you the way, now it's up to you to go out there and become the karate kid, and beat the hell out of Joe Piscopo. Or not. Whatever works for you. But, I've taken you this far; the rest is up to you.

I wonder if you had cake
So sad
I returned home after 2:30 a.m. to see you when you asked
I didn't think I could do anything to make you happy
But after last week, I learned not to crack

I wish I could've done something
I wish I could've made a difference
I still inconvenienced myself for the day
2:50 a.m. bed time and a 7:30 a.m. rise
Doesn't happen all the time, but I love you - surprise!

Still I see the seeds that I'm sowing
And I know that I'll probably be reaping
Either the love from you or the
Pain and ache from the heatbreak
It's all the balance of who I'm supposed to be

I look at you and I see the most beautiful thing
Great eyes, perfect smile, a gentleness
But you're turning, turning away
I'm sorry about your family; I'm sorry about your friends
But I'm a man and I care for you -- as long as you let me that doesn't end

I hear an interest and see a heart in your eyes
C'mon, get over feeling sad
Keep your eyes on the prize
Tonight it's just you and me
And the starlit sky

Ask and ye shall receive
Often words to be said
It doesn't hurt to ask my friend
Just look at what you want again
I know it's tough

I know it's tough to say what you feel
This world, this heart, these feelings are for real
C'mon and just let me know
Because my heart wants to stay
And I'll throw away the go

Two days since your birthday
It'll be alright
I've found peace in you
And I can love you tremendously
Let me, it'll be alright.

I couldn't trade the music for her
As much I would like to kid myself
She's a joke
And the punchline tears me apart
And I wish to cry no longer

"Let's just be friends"
Famous last words that lead to another heartbreak
I've given up on trying to prove Billy Crystal wrong
A man attracted to a woman is often blind when given little reason
And you've proven to me, Melissa, that you're still in the game

"I want a friendship with more"
What the fuck is that?
Are you trying to sound intelligent, or are you just smoking crack?
Go ahead and listen to your Insane Clown Posse
I like it a little, but all this shit and loss in feeling, I'm done with that

God came and took the grey away from the skies as I drove to you
I thank Him for that
But I couldn't be cogent enough to express my craziness for you
And I guess He wanted me to say what I said
I'm okay with the fact

Still I think you're just a girl
That refuses to grow up
If I would've made love to you
Would've that have made it all up
What the fuck? What the fuck?

I'm on the game again
I guess I made it to your birthday, "friend"
I'm dating around and I'll drop the shit
'Cos you don't give a fuck
And I don't care for it.

The cold in the heart needs to get warm
South and west I go
Down to Sarasota again
I say goodbye to my Winter Park friends

But you, the subject of much of what I write
I think you're ultimately the insensitive and the one out of spite
I can't believe that you did that to me that night
Made me fall for you and then for love, I put up a fight

Two weeks of whining
"I am worried that you just want to be friends"
Well, dear, you got what you want
Now I have to start again

I don't know
I'm not going to call you for a while
Maybe one day you'll wake up and see what was lost
And that you can't smile

Or maybe you'll be in this perpetual state of asking the "what if's"
What if this comes along? What if that comes along?
The quagmire becomes impenetrable
And you can't live for it

Relationships and support that feel good
You should stick with it
Even friendship is a process
And you're not doing much with it

You're confused and heartbreaking
But I'm not going to follow you into that abyss
If you don't like to dance, turn around
Because I'm soon to be in the club

The long, slow goodbye
Ended two weeks ago with a kiss
That you wanted my dear
That you will eventually miss

I'm not anything but a loving person
And a person that wanted to be with you
But I'm moving on now
So that I can get through

Goodbye, goodbye
Two weeks ago, I'll be around again
And maybe you'll be in a better mood
And maybe you'll be a better friend.

some kids in a daydream write nice things
not unlike her voice in a mid-range quiver
they really mean them but can't let them be
so in the cold she'll shiver and wait for the sun
in the morning she'll wake and wait for the moon
on the earth she'll walk and think what could have been
and in the stars she'll sit and watch what could be mine.

i think i love her
when i know i did
i'll shout it loud
then shut the lid.

...and we were alone
in joseph's basement
sleeping on a carpeted cement floor
covered only by a sheet.

...and our mouths were wide
open, gasping for air and tongues
we were so close that long night
and we created our own heat

...and your hand reached for mine
and grabbed on tight
taken out of this context i would have felt pain
but my heart rushed like never before

...and we held eachother
for hours on end
and i touched every inch of you
and i hated for you to leave

...and on the drive home
i got lost in thought, nearly crashed
and you loked at me, knowing
just exactly my mental state, for yours was the same

we were lost on the road, and lost for eachother
i still haven't taken you home.
i love you.

I also enjoy having sex!

today i woke up next to you
and it was beautiful
you slept so soundly...or so you wanted me to think
i could tell you were awake
when the corner of your mouth turned upward
formed a slight smile.
and you knew i was watching you.
and i knew i loved you more than my own life.

never has deciet been so welcome.

I like this one, very good

although the i love you at the end is not.

what if you'd have left me for dead
i'd be stuck here with what came next
while you were overlooking from up on top
i'd say my ending had your eyes closed shop
so open them to let me up.

I might post my student films tomorrow or this weekend if anyone is interested...

Searching for company through virility he stood at attention to laud his old time.

"It’s loud in here," he thought, lying on a blanket of grass covered rock. "I can’t think of where to look if I stand up. The stars are so pretty tonight, but I think I should try."

There were bodies all around him and smoke filtered through his lungs, but he had no awareness, no sympathy or courage left. So, he walked through the makeshift graveyard to the west, trying to catch up with the waning daylight.

"Even when it’s all the way down the sun burns," he whispered.

The bodies rolled over slightly inside his head as a plume of smoke blew past his face. He stood still, moving his head from side to side, surveying the world for something to grab hold of. As he fell to the floor a single tear crept down his cheek as a voice rang out.

"You were always one to watch the stars."

love, love, love,

i've told you a thousand times
yet you still smile everytime i say it

i've held you for hours on end
and i know i'll hold you again
but i still don't want to let go

saying goodbye, if even only for a day or two, is too hard.

but i know you'll be there when i get back, or call, or just stop by for a quick hug.

i know you'll be there, especially when i need you. and that is why i love you.

Not a Question of If, But Rather When

Interesting how she says so much
As she says so little
The turn, the look
An innocence behind the riddle

The blue of her eyes reveals a depth in her soul
She's a little afraid now to share it all now
Holding back and taciturn of the feeling
Says it's young while I know it's getting old

I'm finding it less hard to say goodbye
'Cos I know her more true feelings
It's just the confusion
The confusion that makes the lie

Patience is a virtue
And patience I find
Go with the glory of God and love her
Find yourself with each other in time

One day I'll laugh about this
Say it was all just a silly game
The Trix bunny grew up to be a rabbit
Finding the truth, ending more of the same.

jared...you fucking rock.

bless you,
Dan

A Hope

Hope, for you,
Is that happiness you should find one day
The sinking feel fades
Turned the corner and found yourself anew

You were great with me for a month
Happiness was all we had
But now you've turned into something else
And you're asking me if it's bad

You keep on asking the same rotten things
Saying the rotten things over and over again
"I bet you hate me now," and then,
"I'm a terrible friend"

True, you broke my heart
And now I'm set to pick up the pieces
But for me to hate you would very wrong
And that would set me to treason

So I give you to God
Because I can't help you now
Except silently wish you good will
Because you're better than all of that you feel

A compliment and a wish
No good to express to you now
Because your heart has hardened
And you only see me as a clown

God knows I can do no more
To set your soul happy
God knows that I've done everything
To let you know that I love your better being

So I give you up
But I'll be your friend
And you'll still laugh as I wish you well
But better me wishing you that and laugh at me, then you tormenting yourself

If it's not me, I hope another man finds you at your best
Happy, jovial, and welcoming most times
The brightest smile and bluest eyes
For that's what he should caress

God bless you
I wish you very well
Good night to this heartache of mine
Changed to a better love for you as I can tell.

that last one was very good, jared.

Daddy said not to make noise he hates it when we make noise noise after work it annoys Daddy Mummy will say but sometimes noise is made . And when noise is made the crash to the skin comes stinging then hurting then throbbing then tears then bedroom then Mummy will come with her soft hands stroking our hair she is so gentle she cares and tries to stop Daddy sometimes from hitting us. Mummy says Daddy doesn't mean it doesn't mean to hurt he just doesn't like the noise but I don't know why he hits us if he doesn't mean to hurt us, Mummy says only adults understand but I know when I'm an adult I won't understand.

The burn

The burn
Later sting
Left me
From being
Trapped
In heartbreak
She took
What I gave
Cry
In the bed
Many tears
The eyes bled
And still I wait
For a call
That won't come
Ever at all
And then one day
The pain gone
Sunshine brighter
In the everlong
And there she'll be
Without me
Hopefully better
Than she be
And I hope
That she spies
Her heart finding truth
Ending lies
Because right now
There's the sting
And I'm left
To just be
The heart
To fix up
I'm thirsty
I fill my cup
With some booze
To end this sting
And close my eyes
To go to sleep.

The Night When Everything Disintegrated

I was bored and slowly dying inside my lonesome abode
where the remains of a cold cigarette slowly smoldered all alone
that night she broke two promises to me, one of them came true
that in time we all must die, leaving me without you
and there I sat and there I lied, waiting, broken, like the sky
I watched the silver moon cut the whole night through
trekking across the broken glass this race calls sand
I await my home to come to me and take me from this desiccated land

they took me away, they took me where I once believed I belonged
and the buildings they were all on fire as we glided past the songs
of the millions of star-crossed lovers who blindly took their lives
thinking that they would find something better in the next life
but the cruel truth is that nothing is free and everyone must cease to be
and there will be nothing, there will be nothing

and that night in a way we all died
and that night in a way we all died
and that night in a way we all died
on the night when the planet suffered the disease of never allowing to let another soul breathe