_________________ i was dreaming through the howzlife yawning car black when she told me "mad and meaningless as ever" and a song came on my radio like a cemetery rhyme for a million crying corpses in their tragedy of respectable existence
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 10:10 pm Posts: 2154 Location: Rio
gone (by deav) Rio, Nov 2004 (?)
i’ve been searching
then you came
but you had your fingers
crossed behind your back
i built a castle of cards
then it crumbled down
leaving behind just a pile of wreck
but i don’t need to be here
crawling
collecting crumbs of affection
no i don’t need to be here
kneeling
begging for a bit of attention
so i’m gone
i’m gone
i’m gone
and i’ll never be back
now i’m gone
i’m gone
i’m gone
and the last thing you’ll see
is the back of my neck
i really thought i had found
what i was looking for
but i was only half a being
now i know i was wrong
i must be one
to deserve a whole feeling
no i don’t need to be here
crawling
collecting crumbs of affection
no i don’t need to be here
kneeling
begging for a bit of attention
so i’m gone
i’m gone
i’m gone
and i’ll never be back
now i’m gone
i’m gone
i’m gone
and the last thing you’ll see
is the back of my neck
yes i’m gone
i’m gone
the further i can from you
and i'll run
i’ll run
i’ll run
as if i had a gun
aimed at the back of my neck
all that's left now are interim travelers and freeloaders and vagrants hoping for handouts of campbell's and horseradish and a few words on cummings and death and hope from empty blue skies; and as the temps move through I realize how much easier it is to be them, how much easier it is to leave nothing more than reminders and gain nothing more than a road to anywhere and -
-andoh, oh how hard it's been to photograph all the flowers in black & white and oh, would you mind locking the door
(and, pleasesay, perhaps nailing it)
on you way out, because after you go the only one who'll ever want back in this cold place is a thief or a priest, and really, aren't they one and the same?
somewhere between the valley and the shadow lies the truth; somewhere buried in sands is a door to a bright day filled with lillies and sadness and i know that you're over there somewhere still waiting, I know that across the infinite span of the universe there's another you drifting across another sea for another me and oh, how the spiral takes me through all the unspoken desires and oh, how beats of shattered poetry and the lines
(lines coming through now sparsely; lines diving through static and lines kissing starlight with shades of shadow)
slowly fades, only leaving leftover memories to stand stagnant and glowing - - like nuclear flashes - or the outline of a soft smile in the negative of a negative.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:09 pm Posts: 24847 Location: this stark raving, sick, sad little world Gender: Male
and all i really wanted was for you to notice me when all the other pieces were missing. when everything little thing had disappeared and i was all that was left. sure, i wouldn't feel important because you would have left me for last but at least then i would have been able to be happy. when all the candles have burnt out and all the music has stopped i'll still be standing here waiting to help you. waiting to save you.
when you're away all i have are the words you left me with, all the pictures you sent to me, and all the times you made me smile. that is all it's really about, just being happy. something tells me that you could make me happy. i know that i don't know much about this life and i may not be certain of many things but that's one thing that i do know.
so, tonight i'll sit and listen to all those songs that we talked about because just one note from them reminds me of you. and i'll save a few clicks of the mouse for you and the pictures of your cats. i am sure that i'm getting ahead of myself and i know that this could be a mistake but i don't really want to waste another minute. here's to you....
the sun is out the sky is blue it's beautiful and so are you....
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