Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 5:47 am Posts: 27904 Location: Philadelphia Gender: Male
I watched Fight Club last night and realized I haven't written a haiku since I was in high school. So I looked out my window and wrote about that. Walt Whitman is rolling over in his grave right now but it's the best I could come up with.
"Morning grey dark globe
Splits black skies, save for shadows
Sometimes the sun hides"
_________________ It's always the fallen ones who think they're always gonna save me.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
what is a haiku?
i like yours much.
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 5:47 am Posts: 27904 Location: Philadelphia Gender: Male
corduroy_blazer wrote:
what is a haiku?
i like yours much.
Its a poem that is 3 lines long but only contains 17 syllables; 5 in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in the third. There are no rules to word amount or rhyming schemes as long as you follow the syllable rule per line.
_________________ It's always the fallen ones who think they're always gonna save me.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
this is the world, see
and it's beautiful
you should take it in
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
dirtyfrank0705 wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
this is the world, see and it's beautiful you should take it in
Add 2 syllables to the middle line and you'll have written your first haiku, buddy!
hmm
be-a-u-ti-ful
isn't that 5 and then 'and it's' would be 2 others?
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
yep, i'm wrong. sort of good, i'll go with what i had before i decided wrong on beautiful:
this is the world, see
and it's pretty beautiful
you should take it in
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
i really like writing these
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 1:03 am Posts: 24177 Location: Australia
corduroy_blazer wrote:
dirtyfrank0705 wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
this is the world, see and it's beautiful you should take it in
Add 2 syllables to the middle line and you'll have written your first haiku, buddy!
hmm
be-a-u-ti-ful
isn't that 5 and then 'and it's' would be 2 others?
*3. when you pronouce it it's three. unless you pronounce beautiful in a massively drawn out manner.
_________________ Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear, Like criminals, they have choked the breath of conscience and good cheer. The sun beat down upon the steps of time to light the way To ease the pain of idleness and the memory of decay.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
vacatetheword wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
dirtyfrank0705 wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
this is the world, see and it's beautiful you should take it in
Add 2 syllables to the middle line and you'll have written your first haiku, buddy!
hmm
be-a-u-ti-ful
isn't that 5 and then 'and it's' would be 2 others?
*3. when you pronouce it it's three. unless you pronounce beautiful in a massively drawn out manner.
laura, you're a little late, and frank is cooler than you.
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 1:03 am Posts: 24177 Location: Australia
oh i get it now
so, 'and it's' were the other
syllables in there
_________________ Oh, the flowers of indulgence and the weeds of yesteryear, Like criminals, they have choked the breath of conscience and good cheer. The sun beat down upon the steps of time to light the way To ease the pain of idleness and the memory of decay.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:54 pm Posts: 12287 Location: Manguetown Gender: Male
the concept of syllables in english is way more complicated than in portuguese
_________________ There's just no mercy in your eyes There ain't no time to set things right And I'm afraid I've lost the fight I'm just a painful reminder Another day you leave behind
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