no... I can't think of any reason for you to embrace me with your sympathy
and when I feel that you start interpreting my faces I get lost in the need to hide
oh... don't come to close... your breath might intoxicate me
hmmmm...dream-walking between the hours I won't be able to defend my effigy
I'm afraid to sleep

Everyday I see them sleeping
And they're so self-aware, walking and talking and dreaming of being awake but I can feel it
no... maybe it's a remedy but I can't change the state of my mind, that's why they point at me and they call me
weird, and my pointless struggle is the only antidote I know for the soporifics in the air
I don't wanna sleep

Pushing myself along the edge... maybe I was dreaming of someone joining me...
Let me say that the world is pretty peaceful... with you sleeping in my arms...

its kind of akward

so is your spelling

I like it, it seems to be more a stream of consience style, which I'm not a big fan of. That's just me though, I do get a good idea of a certain rawness in term of the emotions your expressing here and so I guess what I'm getting at is I think you can take this further.


On a side note, I had to look up soporifics, but that's my own problem

i don't really see how this is lyrical.
no offense or anything.

yeah very much so... it's more or less one of those 2-minute-scribblings. I need to rework a lot of it, but the basic idea is in there...

Care to elaborate?

lyrics are written for or applied with music. they rhyme and keep some sort of pattern to the beat.

this is more of a spoken word, or open poem.

As in Faithful or Given To Fly or Change by Blind Melon? No offense, but you have a rather narrow-minded view of what lyrics can be.

how does he do it? how do they do it? uncanny and immutable
this is such a happening tailpipe of a party
like sugar, the guests are so refined
a confidence man, but why so beleaguered?
he's not a leader, he's a texas leaguer
swinging for the fence, got lucky with a strike
drilling for fear makes the job simple
born on third, thinks he got a triple
blackout weaves its way through the city
blackout weaves its way through the city
blackout weaves its way...
i remember when you sang that song about today
now it's tomorrow and everything has changed
a think tank of aloof multiplication
a nicotine wish and a columbus decanter
retrenchment and hoggishness
the aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?"
the haves have not a clue
the immenseness of suffering
and the odd negotiation, a rarity
with onionskin plausibility of life
and a keyboard reaffirmation
blackout weaves its way through the city
blackout weaves its way through the city
blackout weaves its way...
i remember when you sang that song about today
now it's tomorrow and everything has changed
i remember when you sang that song about today
now it's tomorrow and everything has changed
changed, changed, chains, etc...



a man lies in his bed in a room with no door
he waits hoping for a presence, something, anything to enter
after spending half his life searching, he still felt as blank
as the ceiling at which he's staring
he's alive, but feels absolutely nothing
so, is he?
when he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him
by nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact
no tradebacks...
so this is what it's like to be an adult
if he only knew now what he knew then...
i'm open
i'm open
come in
come in
come in
come in
i'm open
i'm open
come in
come in
come in
come in
lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers
he decides to dream...
dream up a new self for himself

those lyrics all have some kind of flow to them, yours might with some music with them, who knows. but right now it just kind of rambles.

Those are (pretty much) spoken word songs. Which is what he was saying the lyrics in the original post seem like. So I don't really know why you posted Bushleaguer and I'm Open.

But I agree that they're not very lyrical. Lyrics tend to work along with the music and follow the rhythm of the music. I can't see these lyrics doing that. The lyrics to Faithful and Given to Fly do these things. They don't really rhyme all the time but they not at odds with the music at all.

change follows what i said quite well. I'm not saying that it has to have an aabba rhythym or anything, i'm just saying that your poem at the top isn't lyrical.

Change

I don't feel the suns coming out today
It's staying in, its gonna find another way
As I sit here in this misery I don't think I'll ever see the sun from here
And oh as I fade away, they'll all look at me and say,
Hey look at him I'll never live that way
But that's ok their just afraid to change

etc. etc.

it's more of a matter of definition. If what you posted up there is defined as a lyric, every poem ever would count as a lyric.

It seemed obvious at the time but anyway, I posted the 'lyrics' to a few spoken word songs to offer examples of how they have been used in songs before and therefore are lyrics themselves even though they do not have a flow without music. One would need to combine the words to music to see if the words actually did flow if they do not have a inherent rhythm.