I was in the park today for a meeting with some friends, and we walked to the end of the pier to look at the water, and there was this man there.

He was contemplating.

And he turned to us, and he asked if he could tell us a story. And we said sure, you can tell us a story. And he said ok. And so he told us this story. He told us how there was this man, and he spent his whole life, searching for truth. He looked at the ground the entire time. And he went from one religion to the next and he just couldn't find truth. And so one day he saw this house, and he went up to it because it was completely illuminated, and he knocked on the door. And an angel opened the door and the man, he said, what is this place? And the angel replied, this is the house of truth. And the man said, oh thats great, Ive been looking for truth my whole life, and the angel said would you like to come in, and the man said why yes, yes I would. And so he came inside and the entire house was filled with oil lamps. And the man asked the angel what they all meant, and the angel replied that each one represented the life of every being on Earth, and the man asked why some were full and some were almost empty and the angel replied that when the oil got to the bottom, their life was over.

He was very specific. So the man asked the angel where his candle was located, and the angel told him that if he went down the hallway to the room on his right, and looked on the 8th shelf, the fifth candle on the right was his. And so the man went that way and he sure enough he found his candle, but he was suprised to discover that it was almost empty. So he went into a panic and looking around, found a jar of oil and went to fill his candle back up when he felt the arm of the angel on him, and the angel asked "What are you doing?" and the man told him that he had been searching his whole life for truth, and that he could not die now. But the angel simply told him that he could not, because he was in the house of truth, and the truth is that one day we will all die.

The man then told us how he had heard another story, from a rabbi, about a man who wanted truth, and he spent his whole life searching for truth, and everyone would always tell him "Your shoes are on the wrong feet" and he would stomp his feet and yell and claim that they were correct. But..they weren't. What he wanted the most, he couldn't see.

He told us how to build the foundation in a house. He had spent many years in contruction. He looked very loney too. He told us indepth. About plumbobs and cement.

He told us how he was a follower of Jesus Christ and the Bible. But he told us how a man has to know himsef inside to get real wisdom. He told us how the world will always talk about you, and how you need to know yourself, because real wisdom and truth comes from inside you.

He told us how you must be sure of something in your heart. That you cannot just believe. That you must know. He told us how he spent his whole life searching for truth, and that he had traveled down some bad roads, but that the one thing he was going to tell us was that you have to know, that you can't just believe.

I'm not entirely sure what to think of this man. I think he went out to the pier to do something. And I don't think he intended on returning home. I think he really was at a crossroads, but somehow, I think our presence may have helped him. Helped him know, that maybe, maybe he has some worth in this world. Because he was able to talk to some teenage boys, some stupid kids with their school pressures and friends, with their sumemr jobs and parents cars, talk to them about himself, and that they listened. I listened. I don't know what this all meant, but I think we were there for a reason.

As we left, he called out "Vote for Pedro". And as stupid as it sounds, there's meaning in it somehow, and not just an indicationt that he was intoxicated. He went out there in a very morbid state of mind, but at the end he was referencing stupid teenage movies. I think he believed in himself, but he didn't know, and he had a lot of doubt. And that somehow, we helped him.

And somehow, this sums up perfectly how it feels to be standing on the brink of adulthood and maturity, in these confusing times.

mickey, i'm always very impressed by your writing. it's great.
one thing. don't start a sentence with 'and', especially not so many.

That was actually a stylistic element to keep the flow going so that you didn't have time to think until the end. Did it work?

hmmm... i like repeated "ands"... but, not being a native speaker, what do i know? i think repeated "ands" give this kinda frantic rhythm, like a nervous child speaking... or someone close to breaking down.

Exactly.

i kinda thought that was the case, but i don't think it really worked. i think it would still flow as well, and probably better, if you just removed most of the 'and's from the starts of sentences. they were more of a disruption than anything, for me.

eg. He turned to us, and he asked if he could tell us a story. We said sure, you can tell us a story. He told us this story. He told us how there was this man, and he spent his whole life, searching for truth. He looked at the ground the entire time. He went from one religion to the next and just couldn't find truth. One day he saw this house, and he went up to it because it was completely illuminated, and he knocked on the door. An angel opened the door and the man, he said, what is this place? And the angel replied, this is the house of truth. And the man said oh, that's great, I've been looking for truth my whole life. The angel spoke and said would you like to come in, and the man said why yes, yes I would. He came inside; the entire house was filled with oil lamps. The man asked the angel what they all meant, and the angel replied that each one represented the life of every being on Earth, and the man asked why some were full and some were almost empty and the angel replied that when the oil got to the bottom, their life was over.

really though, it's your story. and it's good. and you should just follow your gut on this one, wherever it may lead you.

Thanks.