His best friend just died

leaned stiff back softly
into his chair, eyes pale
slowly searches abstract
images floating heavily
upon his screen
and past finds memories
into all consiousness

I-
to see benevolence through smiles,
(of his I've found before...)
-approach him, cocky me
but an expression hasn't sprouted
-he's somber-
a seriousness in him
like this, before
I haven't seen

-depression-

all bad things come out now
and show an ugly face
like nasty sweat from neglected pores
fear and doubt,
puppet of pessimists
all negativity's stored
for him, his state

then to hide from horrid view
senses tug at crossroads
no hindrance of optimists
new maturity seasons dillemma

and good may harvest within new smiles
if fate sees the end
of tragedy as death
to be witness to how
new age 19 comes to place,
loses old 18 and
at once
hides its mistakes