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 Post subject: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:07 am 
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Red Mosquito, my libido
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Location: Sector 7-G
"Put Your Ear To A Shell, It's Constant"

Along the coasts oceans
crash
and smash the shells
across the shore.
Along the coasts oceans
crash
and carry waters with such force.

Along the coasts
the oceans will crash
and wash and clean
and bury errors.
Along the coasts
the oceans do crash
and pull us further
than we've been before.

Along the coasts the oceans
crash
and carry all water
against my force.
And along the coasts
the oceans crash
and crash and crash
leaving nothing more.


-------------------------------------------------
"untitled"

We stand on the sidelines
of each other's games.
Publicly cheering
for victory to reign.
But silently hoping
for shortcomings to fall.


-------------------------------------------------
"a sonnet"

In comfortable cages I won't contend,
nor will I conceid my faint whisper. Just
sitting in silence I'll speak if I must,
but won't seek out cause for silence's end.
In corners thoughts will collect like the dust,
but cleaner than dirt with no signs of lust.
Thoughts will just drive on as if with no brakes,
'til they are shattered and then born again.
To the point where it will give me the shakes
and onto my head applies such a strain.
'Til it ends like a dream from which one wakes
to hear on the glass litanies of rain.


Feedback anyone?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:10 pm 
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Mike's Maniac
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man, i just love the rhythm. it was funny, i got carried away at some points and actually forgot to understand the meaning of the words. like it didn't matter. such a magical, surprising effect. then i got back to find the meanings, to find out they're great too. tks. i wonder what your "good poetry" will look like :)

edit: "a sonnet" is my favorite.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 5:14 pm 
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Red Mosquito, my libido
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dea wrote:
man, i just love the rhythm. it was funny, i got carried away at some points and actually forgot to understand the meaning of the words. like it didn't matter. such a magical, surprising effect. then i got back to find the meanings, to find out they're great too. tks. i wonder what your "good poetry" will look like :)

edit: "a sonnet" is my favorite.


Thanks man! I wrote "a sonnet" while I was with this girl in a library when I was at UMass, she had to write a poem for a writing class, and I decided to try it out too. We found this room in the library that was smaller than other rooms. It had 3 walls of bookcases, and the 4th wall was just glass. It reminded us of being in a human zoo on Tralfamadore, a la slaughterhouse five.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:34 pm 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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Bad poetry, oh noetry! :)

I think these are all good stuff, i personally liked Sonnet over the others, too - but they were all well written. Well done :)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 5:21 am 
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iceagecoming wrote:
Bad poetry, oh noetry!

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:01 am 
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dea wrote:
man, i just love the rhythm. it was funny, i got carried away at some points and actually forgot to understand the meaning of the words. like it didn't matter. such a magical, surprising effect. then i got back to find the meanings, to find out they're great too. tks. i wonder what your "good poetry" will look like :)

edit: "a sonnet" is my favorite.

the getting carried away and forgetting to understand the words is definitely an effect i was goind for

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:47 pm 
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Reissued
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god and satan were strolling along one day
hey, there's saddam hussein and billy bob thornton, they said in a joint statement released today
that movie "bad santa" wasn't bad, said god
i don't know, i wasn't a fan, said satan
so god banished him to hell

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:38 am 
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Spambot
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Fantastic post. Bookmarked this site resorts and emailed it to a few friends, your post was that seattle flights great, keep it up.I am pretty much excited thanks for sharing hotels such a nice post.keep it up.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:54 am 
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shun wrote:
Fantastic post. Bookmarked this site resorts and emailed it to a few friends, your post was that seattle flights great, keep it up.I am pretty much excited thanks for sharing hotels such a nice post.keep it up.


ILOVEYOU

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:14 am 
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The Snowboy
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Chud, those are not bad in the slightest :)


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:18 pm 
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thanks Harmless!

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:10 am 
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I kind of wish I could still do this.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:16 am 
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AnalLog
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You probably can.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:17 am 
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I doubt it.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:18 am 
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The more I look at it, the more the first poem is my favorite. There's nothing to it, yet it paints such a vivid picture.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:20 am 
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Untitled is the most honest.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:56 am 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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cutuphalfdead wrote:
"Put Your Ear To A Shell, It's Constant"

Along the coasts oceans
crash
and smash the shells
across the shore.
Along the coasts oceans
crash
and carry waters with such force.

Along the coasts
the oceans will crash
and wash and clean
and bury errors.
Along the coasts
the oceans do crash
and pull us further
than we've been before.

Along the coasts the oceans
crash
and carry all water
against my force.
And along the coasts
the oceans crash
and crash and crash
leaving nothing more.



:shock:

you've been holding out?

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:56 am 
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Red Mosquito, my libido
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Huh?

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 4:00 am 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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cutuphalfdead wrote:
Huh?

huh

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Poetry
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 4:02 am 
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Yeah Yeah Yeah
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the expression means...look, you can write poetry, but you're holding out. You're not letting on that you can. that 's what I mean. You don't post poems much, except about your ass or whatever.

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