hey all. here is a piece i've been working on. by finding Lostdog1079's sig, i realised that there is a line almost identical to a Billy Corgan lyric. however, i have never heard the song, so it is unintentional. any crit will be greatly appreciated. thanks a lot!

Paper Planes

Paper Planes, they don't fly everytime,
And their creators, they ask themselves why.
Are we so, hopelessly bound to the things we can't control,
Seeming easier but the cracks - they still show

Our time - will still go.

Paper Planes, they can burn before your eyes,
Eyes on a target, target I despise.
And it goes, round and round to where it all began.
There's times we got nothing, nothing for our plans

Chorus:
I know who I am, don't forget to remember,
Time goes one way and I don't wanna fail forever.
Pay the price if you don't pull yourself together,
Time goes one way, and I don't wanna live forever.

Paper Planes, they need repair after a while.
Been here before and still I put myself on trial.
And I hear "There's nothing wrong with going wrong, sometimes"
Drifting to a thankless sleep as the bells chime.

Chorus

If i knew where i was going, I'd be there by now
If i knew where i'd been, I'd get back there somehow
If i knew where i was going, I'd be there by now
If i knew where i'm going, I'd be long gone by now.

Chorus

Paper Planes, they can fly everytime you try,
All your greatest critics, they're forced into a smile
And if we, still cling on to all we need to dream
One way, you'll get everything you need.

thanks for reading

i think i like it, do you have a recording of it?

I like the lyrics. Although I'm not big on every line rhyming one after the other, but at first that didn't bother me. If I heard it that could be a problem for me. I'm not sure.

My favorite line is probably this one:

And I hear "There's nothing wrong with going wrong, sometimes"

http://www.myspace.com/band3way

that is an instrumental version. made some lyrical tweaks to it as well. thanks for the comments.

just love it, man. it has this sweet melancholia. my favorite lines:

"Are we so, hopelessly bound to the things we can't control"

"And I hear 'There's nothing wrong with going wrong, sometimes'
Drifting to a thankless sleep as the bells chime."