Be, young
thrive
Denying life at all
Cost obliged
Faking imminence
Heed the lasting
Either or
Soft tongue-tied
Once defaced
And rotten heart
Its hard to come
To terms
Reeking times
But for all
That matters now
Be thriving
While you can
Decide to face
The day or
Freeze time
And go
away

i wrote this almost a year ago and just found it again.

I definitely like parts of it.

i like all of it. it's like a graphic poem, because it gets smaller in the end, pulling you down somehow.

thank you ladies

Hey, really like it

I'm also quite jealous of how you managed to convey a great message through such few words..you bastard! heh..
The structure was great - the use of just a few words on each line really added to the pace of the piece (and of course complimented the meaning).

Good stuff

wow, thanks man.