We had the best time at your party. The wife and I thank you very much.

that's a helluva premise to start with, wow.

good piece, i'm gonna have to re-read it when i sober up/wake up.

wow.

unfortunately, im in cono's boat. i need to post a more complete review when ive sobered up. but this is something special.

*goes to read it again*

Fantastic - and you have a knack for great endings, sir.

I particularly loved this stanza, too, though i'm not entirely sure why:

"To have been a paper mache snowman
Or an old pair of shoes left in the dark
A can of soup 37 cents
A doctor your neighbor or an orchid stem"

And this line: "Wrought by engineers with gravestone disposition."

Another great write

man, you really lost me. this is the most encripted piece i've read here. you really use hard images. yet i like what i think i understood. anyways, i like things that puzzle me.

We had the best time at your party. The wife and I thank you very much.

well... it's hard to tell. maybe it's that english is my second language... i have read it about ten times this time, translating a bunch of words that i might have misunderstood. i think the problem was that you reffer to the bomb as a "he", whereas in my country we reffer to a bomb as a "she", so at first i couldn't understand to whom "he" reffered to. it is the bomb, right? well, now i think i have figured it out. and i think it's really good.

i added and changed a few small things. just seeing if anyone that has read it before has any suggestions and any new criticism is greatly desired.

this was awesome!! such a strong opener, in fact I read this the other day and the beginning got stuck in my head:



I also love the blend of beauty and darkness and I think you capture that so well. Love this part:



great work man