Chapter Six – Back and in Reverse


Susanna had been washed up and down like a wave on the shore of golden light only to be tossed back into darkness over and over never getting where she was bound. Thoughts had been spinning in her mind; thoughts of horror, of sorrow past and present, of Peter attacked by Spencer and left to die, of Augusta as a vulture diving upon an innocent prey that sometimes was herself, sometimes her mother and then the new world about to face evil for the first time. Then the thoughts had passed her by and only the flickering light of consciousness remained with the image of Leo safe at home as she waited and waited, crossing layer upon layer of darkness until the new world unveiled itself to her. She had only one thought left. She had to get there and tell whomever she might find that evil was coming and they had to be prepared.

* * *


She landed finally on her knees on what looked and felt like ground. She looked around and everything seemed strange. New, that was the only way she could put it. The grass under the palm of her hands, the trees around, the sky above where lazy clouds cruised, the sprouts of rock surrounded by a myriad of flowers colorful as a rainbow, the buzz of invisible insects, the racket of birds in hidden nests, the crawl and whir and flap and flit and hop of animals, everything felt as real as can be. But everything had this glow and this hum, as though she could watch and listen to plants grow if she paid attention.

She stood up to find herself dizzy out of fear and breathless as if the air were too thin for her lungs.

Then she saw him.

He was leaning against the rock right ahead of her and she was sure he wasn’t there a second ago.

“Leo!” She screamed and reeled towards him. “What are you doing here? Did you follow me? We have to run, they’re after me, we have to tell everybody…” All of a sudden she stopped about ten paces away from him, and walked backwards a couple of steps.

The same denim overalls, the same long wavy hair, the same scar on his face. But somehow she knew the man she was looking at was not Leo.

Yet there was something familiar about the strange aspects of him. The glow was all over him; his hair fell loose and almost golden in waves on his shoulders. In awe she realized that the glow came from him. The honey-golden eyes stared at her in such a melancholic manner that tears immediately flooded to her eyes.

She knew who he was.

“A…”

“No.” He commanded in Leo’s baritone, but she felt as tough the voice had come from the depths of the earth, from the wideness of the sky, from the inside of every tree and flower and creature in that strange place.

“That name must never be spoken again. It dwells in Otherland as your memories should. Though I see you may have forsaken me, but you have not forgotten me after all, Daughter of Eve.” He said with a faint smile that made him look even sadder. It was just heart wrecking to her.

“I don’t understand…” She thought, unable to speak through the familiar grasp on her throat, trembling all over as her sobbing increased.

“It’s a long story.” He read her mind. But know this: the world you once knew is dead. Nevertheless, it exists here, yet differently.”

All she could do was to keep on crying.

“I no longer use the ancient form. But my true form would be too much for you. I chose to appear before you in this human form because it’s familiar and safe to you. I understand, even pleasurable?” He paused and she held her breath. “You can call me Leoghan, my child.” He opened his arms to her. She ran and fell in the warm embrace, the locks in his hair a faint remembrance of a long lost sensation of tenderness.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” She cried over and over as he caressed her hair and her back softly.

They remained in each other’s arms until her sobs lessened and she was able to speak again.

“Leoghan.” She hesitated, at the weirdness of the sound of the name of her Leo addressing this Leo. “I have something to tell you. Something terrible!” She said, head down on his chest, afraid to look him in the eye.

He put a hand under her chin and forced her head up to face him. He looked at her grim faced. His embrace stiffened until he held her by the shoulders and pushed her away, gently but firmly.

“So you bring evil to this young world, child. Had I not warned you a long time ago that you were never allowed to come back?”

She was devastated. Her lip wobbled and her eyes filled. She felt guilty and ashamed for things that went a long way back. But not for this. She had been deceived and she had to explain everything, he of all people had to understand.

“I… I had to come! I thought they were calling me! I hoped that they had survived somehow. I had to see them again!” She hesitated. “I had to say I’m sorry… I had to tell them about Mom…”
Tears kept rolling down her cheeks to the ground. In her state of despair, she could not notice that every drop of tear turned into a crystal bead as soon as it touched the soil, sank in it as if in water, and formed a crystal cave deep down below.

“I was deceived by those two…” She held her breath at the sudden realization. “There was no call after all, was there? It was them all the time…” The thought brought her to a collapse. She fell on her knees sobbing violently.

“There was no call, was there? My family is gone, my mother is mad, I’m alone and I’m selfish because I only think of myself when your world will be destroyed because of me and I don’t know what to do!” She covered her face with both hands, shaking all over, gasping for air between sobs.

“Hush, child.” Leoghan said after a while, softly and deeply. He helped her to her feet and wiped out tears that would not stop running, the big rough thumb gently caressing her cheeks.

“All in due time.” He took her by the hand. “Come, child. There’s something I want to show you.”

They walked in silence amongst the trees, crossed a clearing into the luminescent shade until they reached the rim of the wood. Then they crossed a stream the leaped through the rocks on the waterbed. Then they climbed a narrow path up and down a low hill covered with light-green grass; and another hill; another stream; and another hill.

It seemed that they had been walking for hours and hours and yet Susanna never felt tired. Then they began to climb a steep stone way with spikes of rock blossoming on each side of the path leading to the top of a grey cliff. Once they reached the top of the cliff there was a large plateau upon which she could see a huge stonewall that went about two-storey high until it oddly dissolved into darkness. They walked all the way up. As they reached the wall, Leoghan just walked right through it pulling her by the hand; she felt a tingling all over her body and a buzzing in her ear.

When they appeared on the other side, she held her breath in awe. She looked through the wavering boundaries of the stonewall and it was clear as day; on this side it was early evening.

There was a large village, houses and streets and woods spreading beyond her sight on both sides of a main street. There was not a soul to be seen.

They walked the empty road. Stars aligned in foreign constellations above. But the faint glow that lit the path ahead did not come from the stars. It came from Leoghan. They crossed the central square and walked ahead. As they reached the end of the main street Susanna saw a big house behind an iron gate. She held her breath again as she realized that the house was a perfect reproduction of the manor.

Leoghan led her through the gate the same way he had done at the stonewall. He stopped when they reached the porch.

“Now you follow on your own, child.” She felt suddenly exhausted and squeezed his hand afraid to let him go. He gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and she recognized the warm soothing breath from the past. “Go, child. We shall meet again when the time is right.” Then he vanished into thin air leaving her in the dark.

She stood there by the doorway for a while afraid of what she was about to face.

She finally pulled the golden fringe to ring the doorbell.

* * *


The door opened with the sound of rusted hinges but there was no one at the hall. Susanna stepped in cautiously.

“Hello?” Nothing. “Hello, there?” She looked up at the staircase softly lit; then she heard noises coming from the kitchen and waited as steps headed towards her.

A beautiful woman in her mid-thirties met Susanna in the pond of light that came from the top of the stairs. Almost as tall as herself, long wavy dark-blond hair falling over her shoulders, she wore a lovely lace tunic tied by a satin ribbon beneath her breast, a woolen shawl over her shoulders. The volume in her abdomen showed that she was carrying a child, a pregnancy of about six months.

Susanna wondered that she looked strangely familiar; the woman seemed to recognize her all of a sudden; she went pale, her eyes opened wide and her hands went up to her belly.

“Su?” Her eyes filled up with tears.

“Lu?” Susanna held her breath.

The next minute they were in each other’s arms amongst laughs and tears. Susanna could not believe that the woman she was holding was her little sister. Her “dead” sister. She was about twenty years older but it all made sense. Time passed differently in Otherland and it was different there too.

“I knew you would come! I knew you would hear my call!”

“You called me? Was it really you, then?” Susanna sighed with relief.

“Yes, Su, I’ve been calling you for twenty years!” Lu was laughing between sobs and kissed her sister on both cheeks, holding her again. She finally released Susanna and pulled her by the hand to the kitchen.

“Look, everybody, who’s here!” Lu said as she passed through the kitchen door.

However, Susanna seemed to have been glued to the floor because she could not cross the doorway. There, at the same old wooden table so familiar, sat people so strange to her that she feared she would not be able to recognize them.

A tall strong man in his early forties stood up white as a candle, thin lips pressed against each other, hands clenched in two iron fists. Beneath the long hair grey on both sides of his forehead and a thick dark goatee, she recognized her brother Peter.

He looked at her, then at Lu, then back at her, his cheeks now burning with anger.

“What is she doing here?” He asked Lu between his teeth.

“Peter, listen…”

“You know what she’s done, don’t you?” He vented with a snort, dashing out of the kitchen to the cool night outside.

Susanna was startled that they already knew that something was wrong and clearly blamed her for it.

“Ed, please, go talk to him…” Lu asked the younger man next to her; still and pale as a marble statue, he looked open mouthed at Susanna.

“Su?” With two large steps he reached Susanna, grabbed and lifted her from the floor with strong arms, swinging her round.

“Oh, my Goddess.” That was all Susanna could whisper in the arms of the big man with long light brown hair tied at the back of his head, thin reddish beard on a square jaw she now acknowledged as her younger brother. Her “dead” brother.

“Easy, Ed, let the woman breathe.” Lu smiled wiping out a tear, urging her brother to release Susanna and go find Peter.

“All right.” He grunted, let his sister go and, wiping out his own tears, kissed her on both cheeks and walked swiftly outside.

Susanna leaned on the wall and shut her eyes, dizzy out of emotion rather than the spin.

“Oh, dear, come here, sit down.” Lu helped her to a chair by the table. “Have a cup of tea.” Lu reached for the cupboard for another teacup, poured the warm aromatic beverage, the steam swirling up in spirals, and handed it to Susanna; she almost dropped the teacup but Lu helped her to place it on the table.

“There. Take it easy now.” Lu caressed Susanna’s hair while she kept her eyes shut. Then Susanna took a couple of sips from the steaming liquid that went down like a balm from heaven, restoring some of her strength. Lu sat down herself on the other side, unable to take her eyes from her sister.

It was then that Susanna directed her attention to the other people sitting in worried silence around the table. Her eyes paused on the man beside her sister.

“This is my husband Emeth.” Lu was clearly as proud of him as he was of her when he stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“A sunbeam shines in the night because thou hast returned to the arms of thy beloved family, Lady Susanna.” He bowed solemnly.

“Oh… My heart is filled with the warmth of the sweet flame of thy most honorable acquaintance, Milord… My brother.” She nodded courteously. The pride of an old warrior of the dark people from the beyond the deserts of Otherland was visible on his gentle handsome face.

“I hope we no longer need a formal introduction.” A hoarse voice hid in the shadow on the far corner of the table to her left.

“Professor…” Susanna mumbled faintly. The same witty expression in vivid eyes; the once white now golden hair like a mane; a smile hidden by a longer beard; he seemed to have grown younger since they last met during the war. She rose to her feet and threw herself at his, crying silently.

“Hush, now…” He patted her head.

“Thank you. Thank you.” That was all she could whisper. On her knees, in the arms of the man she believed dead, the man who had given her a second chance from the grave, all the pain and sorrow she had been through for the last seven months finally took their toll.

After a while she offered no resistance when Lu grabbed her by her shoulders and led her up the staircase and into the same bedroom that had become her own for the past seven months in the real world. She did not resist either, when her sister helped her to strip out of her dusty clothes into a nightgown and laid her on the bed, humming her to slumber.

* * *


“What you think you have to find
Is already on your mind
It goes back and in reverse
Listen to this final verse.”

Susanna woke up with the warm sensation that had become familiar for the last seven months since she had moved to the manor. The sound of the tune lingered outside the window as usual. Only this time she could hear children laughing; that was new. She could feel the weight of a powerful dream that made her both deeply happy and deeply sad, but she could not recall it.

She stood up and walked to the window though she did not expect to see anything at the garden below; but this time it was different. There on the lawn she saw Lu playing with two children, a boy and a girl. The girls looked remarkably like her brother Ed and the boy was the spitting image of Peter.

Then it all came to her. It had not been a dream she was unable to remember, but the events that had actually taken place the night before that made her feel happy and sad at the same time: to know that her family lived and to know that Peter hated her now more than he had ever done before. And she was not so sure why.

* * *


There was hot water in a small iron kettle on the stove, fresh bread in a tray and strawberry jam and butter in crystal jars covered by delicate lace cloths on the table. There was a place set for one and a wooden box filled with little posies of scented herbs for tea. Not sure if the place was for her, Susanna got a teacup from the cupboard and was about to pour hot water over a portion of dried leaves that smelled like chamomile when Lu walked in after the children.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” She kissed Susanna merrily. “Had a good night sleep?”

“Yes, thanks.” She looked awkwardly at the children.

“Kids, meet your aunt Susanna.” Lu pushed them by the shoulders placing them before Susanna.

“How do you do, Milady? I’m John.” The boy solemnly offered a hand for a shake.

“How do you do?” She held the small but strong hand in hers, trembling a little at the sight of her older brother as she remembered him as a boy age ten. The same dark thin hair; not short now, though, but tied in a plait behind his neck. The same drilling stare. Apparently he knew “what she had done” but unlike his father let courtesy and perhaps curiosity come before judgment.

“Hi, auntie Su, I’m Clara!” The girl threw her arms around Susanna’s hips and her face up for a kiss.

“Hi sweetie.” Susanna kissed her on the forehead and tucked a lock of dark brown hair behind her ear. She was about seven and had freckles on her rosy cheeks and eyes as clear as water.

“Now, don’t you two have something to do, like study?” Lu frowned forehead was bellied by an open smile.

“Aaaww… Do we have to, auntie Lu…?” Pleaded Clara with the most innocent and irresistible face.

“Yes, you have to. You’ll have plenty of time to be with your aunt, all right?” An almost imperceptible shade crossed Lu’s face, as she really did not know how long Susanna would stay.

John took his cousin by the hand and they walked up the staircase.

Susanna wiped a stubborn tear.

“Come, Sis, I set the table for you.” Lu said invitingly and sat opposite her.

“They’re beautiful, Lu.”

“Yes, they are. Jack’s is Peter as a boy, don’t you think? And Clara’s mother is of the fairy people. Those eyes can’t lie…”

“The fairy child…” Susanna realized with a smile.

“Do you all live here at the manor?” She asked after a while.

“Oh… You could not possibly know… Peter lives here. I live in the first house beyond the gate; Ed lives opposite me. I just came to help since… For Otherland’s sake, that’s too much for you to assimilate…” Lu held Susanna’s hand. “Peter’s wife, Jill, is very ill; she was attacked by a wolf in the woods a couple of days ago. That had never happened here so everybody knew… things had changed. Jill is… Human… She was one of the last to visit Otherland before the fall. It’s been hard for her… And for Peter and the boy… I’m sorry, Su.” She squeezed her hand.

“I see.” So that’s what she had done. Only she could not understand how. “I can’t stay here.” Her voice was so cold that it seemed to belong to somebody else.

“Yes, sure. You can stay with us… Until Peter comes to his senses… My Goddess, this is a mess…” Lu said almost to herself. “You know, Peter is a wise man, a Great King, for Otherland’s sake!” She frowned and shook her head. “He’ll call for you when he’s ready, don’t worry.”

When they walked the short way that led to Lu’s house next door, Susanna felt as if her heart weighed the weight of a thousand universes.

* * *


Leo had been walking and walking for a day that felt as if it were two. The memories, if he could call them so, still lingered in his mind. As he walked and walked he could still recall the floating in darkness that had felt like eternity. The warm feeling of his mother bosom had surprised him most tenderly, as he lay there weightless. He had landed on the grassy ground where light came from the inside of things. Such a strange place.

“’Tis true ‘en. ‘Tis real. Just as she said.” He had shut his eyes squeezing the inner pocket of his coat imagining he could make the damp sheet of paper rattle for a while close to his heart. Then he had looked around to the rim of trees to his left and the tip of the mountain range beyond. Somehow he had known it was there he would have to go to find her.

So he had crossed the woods and the creek. Then a hill. Then another hill. Up and down he had gone. There was no heat too hot to make him sweat in his tweed coat. With time he had grown accustomed to the constant hum of things growing. He was not tired and just kept walking. Towards her.

* * *


He sat down by the side of another creek in another valley between wavy hills. He was not thirsty but he had somehow heard the voice of the water calling out for him. If someone asked him to describe the taste of that water he would face a rather difficult task. He would have to say that it tasted like “water” yet he could say it tasted and felt like air or love or a child’s giggle or liquid crystal for that matter.

“What a place…” And he noticed he had said it out loud.

“Indeed.” He was almost convinced he had said it himself; but he had not. He was startled and jumped to his feet looking around.

“Who’s ‘ere?” He could not see where the voice had come from.

“Do you come in peace, Son of Adam?” He remembered the expression at once from Susanna’s tales. Susanna’s memories.

“Er… Aye. I’m Leo from…” He wondered what he could possibly say. “I’m Leo. I come from… Far away.” He kept on searching around in vain.

“Look up, then, Leo of Faraway.” The voice hooted.

Leo looked up and he was in awe when he saw the biggest owl he had ever laid eyes on standing straight up on a thick branch of a huge tree.

“I’m Leabhar of Ainnar-Lata, also known as The Keeper. Honoured to make your acquaintance.” His feathers, pulled in tightly to the body, slowly became loose and fluffy as he relaxed, giving up sparks of silver in the rhythm of his breath.

“A different Son of Adam… Remarkable! LEO OF FARAWAY – SON OF ADAM – 21 A.A. Worthy of note for sure.” He had said the last part mostly to himself.

“A book!” Leo shook his head smiling, unable to tell what had impressed him the most; to have hear a word in the language of his ancestors in such a strange place or to have heard it from an owl.

The Keeper blinked with his third eyelid that closed diagonally across the eye.

“I believe you could say that, Milord. I do keep records of every historical event and cultural reference there has ever been and taken place since the rise and fall of Otherland – may it always be remembered – and of course since the dawn of Ainnar as well. But I have to disagree with you, Milord, as the extent of my records could never fit in the narrow binding of a book.” He seemed a tad offended as he turned his head almost upside down, making Leo bend sideways in turn to look at him.

“Nay… I apologize… Milord? ‘Tis ‘at yer name means “book” where I come from.”

“Indeed? Fascinating… LEABHAR MEANS ‘BOOK’ IN FARAWAY. Worthy of note for sure.” He purred for a while.

Leo scratched his head in confusion. If he could have picture himself in Wonderland that would be beyond the way he would have imagined it. But he was really wondering about “the fall of Otherland and the dawn of Ainnar”. What the bloody hell was that big bird talking about?

“So, Leo of Faraway, what brings you to our lovely world?” He bobbed and weaved his head, curious.

“Hmmm. I’m looking for Susanna… Er… Lady Susanna, the Great Queen…” He smiled shaking his head at the surreal aspect of the conversation.

“Indeed?” The Keeper moved a small group of feathers above his left eye with the actual effect of an eyebrow raised in suspicion. “And what purpose such piece of information would have to you, Leo of Faraway, if I may take the liberty of asking?” The pupil was the size of a pinhead on the big orange iris.

“Er… She is… We are…” He hesitated, not sure of how much he should tell or how he should put it. He sighed and decided for the truth.

“Lady Susanna came here to look for her family; bu’ she has been followed by evil people whose intentions might pu’ her life as well as her family’s in danger. I came after her because she’s my… bride and ‘tis my solemn will and duty to protect her against all evil with my life!” He straightened himself, cheeks burning with determination.

“I see.” The Keeper moved the feathers on his forehead into a frown. “The first part of what you have just said, Milord, accords with the records.” Then he said mostly to himself. “LADY SUSANNA THE GREAT QUEEN OF OTHERLAND AND AINNAR-LATA IS THE BRIDE OF LEO OF FARAWAY. Worthy of note for sure.”

“Milord The Keeper, can you tell me where I can find Lady Susanna?” Leo had grown a little uneasy. There was no doubt that Leabhar knew what he needed to find out. That he would tell him was another story.

“But of course I can.” The Keeper turned his head in a full circle and back and just stared at him.

Leo wondered that maybe an ancient and more powerful evil had already set foot in this world. Bureaucracy it seemed.

“Would you be kind enough to tell me, by any chance, Milord, where I can find Lady Susanna?” He was a little restless now.

“You may find Lady Susanna in the High Walls.” He blinked.

“Be specific, man.” Leo advised himself.” And what is the way to the High Walls, Milord?”

“You follow to your right – that’s North – until you leave The Borders and find the night.” He blinked again.

“This is ridiculous.” Leo thought on the verge of losing his patience. He drew a deep breath. “What exactly are The Borders, Milord?”

“You are standing at The Borders, Milord.” At last one direct answer.

“And what d’ye mean by ‘find the night’? It means I will ge’ at the High Walls when the night comes?” Leo hoped that had been specific enough.

“That particular piece of information does not accord with the records, Milord.” He turned his head almost upside down to the other side. Leo was beginning to panic.

“There is no such thing as ‘night’ at The Borders. Days are followed by nights in the High Walls and of course every other land that borders with The Borders. Hence if you follow to the North and find a day followed by a night you will be in the High Walls.” The Keeper might not have meant it but he spoke as if Leo were stupid.

And he certainly felt so. He went pale with shock. If that was true, he might have been wandering around for ages now. He suddenly shivered with a cold that came from inside with the thought that he might be too late and everything might already be lost. He shut his eyes and the image of Susanna wandering through eternal day hurt like a punch in the stomach.

“Thank you, Milord The Keeper. I must part now.” He nodded a goodbye and stepped across the creek.

“I bid you farewell and good fortune, Leo of Faraway.” The keeper moved his head again as if he were unscrewing his skull.

* * *


It was late that evening that Susanna was summoned for a meeting at the manor. When she was ushered by Lu into the library all the Friends had already gathered. There was a younger man in his thirties by the fireplace whom she could not recall. And a very distinct lady about the Professor’s age who smiled at her.

“Lady Plummer…” Susanna whispered only now recalling that the lady had also been counted among the dead in the crash. She was genuinely happy to see that she was well.

“Hallo, Susanna. Long time no see…” Lady Plummer ignored Peter’s slanted look standing by one of the tall windows to the east. Susanna suddenly remembered the view from that window and the memory of the stable house clenched her heart as she thought of Leo.

“Susanna, my dear, have a seat.” It was the warm voice of the Professor that she welcomed with relief. “I’m sure you have been briefed with the unfortunate events that coincided with your arrival in Ainnar.”

“Ainnar… Back and in reverse…” She smiled in her mind at the simplicity of it.

“What can you tell us about the circumstances of your coming into our world?” She was grateful for the way he had forwarded the subject.

Then she told them everything she knew. About the dream tune that she knew now had been sent to her as a key to a portal that took her to the place in between worlds and made possible her return to Ainnar. That she believed that the tune had reached her mother as well in spite of her unhealthy state of mind. With the corner of her eye she could see Peter’s face soften when he heard the bad news about his mother.

“You mean you left her ill and alone?” He asked between his teeth though, a face as hard as stone again.

“On the contrary, she’s well cared for by loyal friends. Actually she is one of the two reasons that made me come to a decision to cross the portal at last. She asked me to come and tell you all that she loves you.” She sighed trying to keep calm. “She believes and so do I that there is something here to heal her…” She bit her lip to prevent it from wobbling.

“And what might the other reason be?” Peter took a step closer, fists clenched by his side.

“Peter, my dear friend, would you be kind enough to allow your sister to speak?” The Professor stressed the word sister, leaving Peter with no ground for discussion.

“The other reason is as important but most complex to present.” Something in that scene had begun to remind her of times long gone when hearings were conducted at the main hall of the stone castle by the ocean. She just hoped Peter could be as wise now as he had been back then.

She sighed and went on telling them about the manor and the inn and how their prosperity had presumably attracted the evil eye of their disreputable neighbours and their unveiled threats.

“I was led to believe that the answer to those threats could be found here as well.” Though now she wasn’t sure of anything.

“Oh, so the manor is an inn now… And prospering… You seem to have done well, my dear. “ The Professor was touched with memories of his past. Peter snorted with restlessness but did not dare to interrupt. “So everybody is all right, then, Brian and Constance, their lovely Julia… and Leo, that fine young man?

“Oh, they’re just fine…” She looked down at the clenched fingers on her lap missing Leo now more than ever.

“You can go on now, my dear.”

So she told them all about the Llewellyn-Parkers; Spencer’s mischief by the waterfall – a hard thing to recall, let alone speak of in public; the wicked ritual in the millstone; their encounter in the place in between when they had revealed their evil plans for Ainnar.

“Oh, Su…” Lu had known all about it in the afternoon but she still had a hard time taking in the part of the rape attempt.

The others reacted in similar ways. Ladies biting their lips, men clenching their fists with rage. Peter had turned white as a marble statue. Susanna could see that he had not come to terms with his anger and felt sorry for him.

“How did they jump in the well?” He asked with a hoarse trembling voice bellying both his distressed feelings and the effort to keep control of himself. “The calling opened the portal for you and you alone.” He was cold again as ice and she realized that he was trying to catch her telling a lie. She was outraged.

“Well, brother, you should know; they used the rings Spencer stole from you at the train station on the day of the crash.” She regretted the words the second after they came out of her mouth; but now she could not take them back.

“Oh!” Lu could not suppress a scream. Then a heavy silence fell upon them all.

“Peter, I had no idea. Spencer told me that he left you to die… I was terrified that you had not… made it here.” She could not say more. She shut her eyes as tears insisted on falling down on her lap. She gave up the effort of fighting them.

She heard rather then saw when Peter held his breath and walked fast and heavily out of the room.

Susanna welcomed Lu’s warm squeeze on her hands wiping the tears off her fingers with a soft thumb.

“That is a shocking revelation indeed.” The Professor snorted apparently releasing a breath he had been holding. “That explains why they managed to arrive ahead of you in time to create the conditions that resulted in the attack of our beloved Jill.” A moan of understanding crossed the room.

“In my opinion it is clear we are facing the outcome of a rather well orchestrated conspiracy.” The Professor went on thoughtfully. “Now we stand before hard decisions to be made concerning any further action to be taken against the impending attack to our world.”

“We should send the winged messengers again with the news update, Milord.” The younger man’s way of speaking suddenly reminded Susanna of their rather annoying cousin Scrubb; but the man she was looking was kind in spite of the hard face of a warrior; she wondered about the power of change that Otherland had over everyone who ever visited it.

“The cave…” Susanna whispered as a spark of an idea glimmered in her mind.

“What did you say, my dear?” The Professor raised a hand to ask for the muffled comments that had begun to fill the room to come to a halt.

“The cave. Is it possible that there is a cave here as there is one in the… Where I came from? If it’s so and if there is a portal there, there may be a portal here as well and Augusta might try to use it for… Whatever she’s planning to do…” She searched the faces around for some sign of understanding, the hope that she could help mend the damage she had inadvertently helped to cause now flickering in her heart.

“That’s possible, Su. Can you draw a map?” Ed finally broke the silence and it took Susanna some effort to see her little brother in that grim faced man.

Then the library turned into a war room where a brave group of soldiers brought together again by evil turns discussed battle plans. Susanna deeply missed the commander-in-chief, though.

* * *


The night was still young when a small platoon gathered at the side garden of the manor. A group of scouts would soon follow Susanna’s map in search of the cave. Winged messengers had already been sent to every allied reign on all four corners of Ainnar-Lata carrying the updated news and the plans already made.

But there was a question that lingered in the eyes of every fighter.

Lu broke the silence when the headquarter staff gathered in the kitchen while provisions were readied for the troopers.

“I wish the One were here…” She shook her head.

Susanna started as if hit by lightning.

“You mean A… But he is here!” She almost dropped her teacup.

Everybody looked at her in awe.

“What?!” Ed jumped up the chair, open-mouthed.

“He is here! He brought me here; he left me at the doorstep. He’s… He… Looks human… He looks like Leo. My Leo. And he calls himself Leoghan.” She was panting with excitement. “He knows everything…. I didn’t have to tell him.”

“But that is most fortunate!” The Professor raised his cup in a toast. “I guess the odds have turned in our favour!”

“Cousin, this is brilliant!” Scrubb’s eyes were lit with excitement. He ran to the door. “Ill spread the news among the men!”

No one could possibly disagree with that.

* * *


No one noticed the pair of tiny black beads watching the scene from behind the stove.

No one noticed when it sneaked out of the door right after Scrubb. Or the squeak of four little paws on the wet grass towards the woods.

And no one, no one really saw when the forelegs turned into wings and the hind-legs into talons and the dark shape flew above the trees.

No one could see when the flapping shape rested in the hole at the centre of the millstone; or when the shape grew bigger and featherless into a skyclad man.

No one that mattered was there to see that Spencer did not need a fur in a garbage bag anymore.

“So the stupid cat is herre.” Augusta embraced her son and lover beneath the starlit sky licking her lips disgustingly.

* * *




The night that had fallen upon the second day after Susanna’s arrival was halfway through a new dawn full of danger and uncertainty. Yet the eternal day at The Borders still found Leo walking up and down a sea of hills. When he left The Keeper sitting on his branch by the creek he had a heavy heart and the need to hurry. He had run up and down endlessly and every step he had taken just to realize he was not getting anywhere had led him to a state of desperation. Many times he had fallen to his knees and had pulled himself up just to fall again; because the next creek was deeper that the previous one; or the next hill had more slippery pebbles or hidden holes among the bushes. Now he could hardly see the path ahead through tears born of frustration and anger and the unbearable feeling of powerlessness.

Then he fell one more time, rolling down a grassy slope. He was soaked in sweat, ghostly water and blood. He prayed that he had not broken anything this time, stretching his sore limbs carefully. Slowly he noticed a change in the environment; this ground had hardly a spike of grass on the greyish rough terrain. He forced himself up and saw a steep stone path with spikes of rock sprouting on both sides leading to the top of a cliff. He climbed up as fast as he could, hope growing in him for the first time since he had began his maddening walk.

He reached the top of the cliff and saw a large platform where a huge stonewall rose from the ground and spectrally merged with darkness above.

“High Walls.” He snorted with relief.

The feeling did not last long, though. There was no gateway to be seen as far as the wall spread when he searched from left to right. The stone surface felt cold beneath his palms. He took a couple of steps behind looking around trying to figure out a way in.

The solution to his problem came in a rather unexpected and painful way.

All of a sudden a shadow fell upon him and claws clamped his shoulders like iron nippers puncturing flesh and lungs and cracking bones. The pain was so acute that he held his breath with a grunt and shut his eyes as his body was lifted from the ground with the flapping of giant wings. He felt as if all the blood had been drained out of his body and lost consciousness at once.

He did not see when he was carried above the edge of the wall towards instant night. He did not notice when the giant shade flew high above the village undetected. He did not feel when the black giant came to a low flight above the top of the trees tossing his body like a scarecrow against the needles of wood until his previous wounds disappeared under new ones. He did not wake when the bird unclasped its talons and dropped him like a rag doll just a little below the lethal height on the hard cold surface of the millstone.

And he missed it entirely when the bird morphed into Spencer keeling beside his motionless bloodied shape.

* * *


It was halfway through dawn when Lu took Susanna to her house to fulfil a last errand before the braking of day. Lu was determined that although Susanna had been convinced to stay out of the frontline, she needed protection.

“I will conjure you a weapon.” She had said and Susanna had looked at her younger sister in a different way. She realized that Lu was a wise woman now, the face of the Goddess in the bulb of light; and she had said a little prayer for her other beloved witch Julia.

Susanna had watched a little awkwardly as Lu fetched her tools. The iron cauldron that she filled with ghostly water from the creeks of The Borders and the dagger with tree cutting edges forged with tree spirals of metal, gold, silver and copper, with a pewter handle where the shape of a lion had been carved by fire.

Now she watched while her sister dropped herbs and seeds and stones in the water while it slowly came to a boil as matter-of-factly as if she were cooking a stew, reciting words in foreign languages in a whisper.

And she smiled as Lu talked about the days she had spent in the greenhouse and the nights she had spent in the library amongst books that talked about new and ancient magic. She wondered if Leo would find Russian poetry amongst those bindings that filled all four walls up to the ceiling.

The oasis of bliss of her acquaintance with this new aspect of her sister was suddenly broken when Peter dashed into the kitchen.

“Oh my Goddess.” Lu frowned. “Peter, this is important…” She waived at the cauldron on the stove and the dagger resting solemnly on a black velvet cloth on the side table.

His face was still the marble mask but for his swollen eyes; it was clear he had been crying.

Lu shook her head in defeat. “Su, all you have to do is place the dagger in the cauldron when the water boils, all right? You would have to do it yourself anyways… Just be sure to think hard, a thought of love, when you do it. That’s all that it takes.” Then she kissed Susanna and walked mumbling out of the room leaving her brother and sister alone.

Not so sure about what she was supposed to do, Susanna walked towards the stove with her back to Peter and waited.

She could feel his eyes puncturing her nape. Everybody knows that water never boils when you’re looking at it, iron cauldron or not. The silence became unbearable and she decided to break it. Poke the beast with a short stick.

“I’m sorry about your wife… Jill.” Her shoulders went up involuntarily as if she were expecting a stroke. She heard when he snorted and could see him swallow dry with her mind’s eye.

“Not more than I am.” He replied between his teeth.

“Peter…” She shut her eyes and shook her head a little dizzy with the green vapour coming up from the cauldron.

“Peter my ass.” He let out at last. “What in the name of bloody hell were you thinking?” He shouted between his teeth; something Susanna had never imagined physically possible.

“It was not my fault!” She replied not so sure what he was referring to this time.

“It’s never your fault, is it, Susanna?” She shrugged as he spoke her name as if from the grave. “All those years I wondered what made you change… You of all people…” The note of disappointment in the hoarse voice of the older man was the same she had learned to acknowledge in the voice of his younger self. “We all went through the same ordeal as a family and yet…”

“I deserted.” She knew it and he did not need to say it out loud.

“I’m not that woman anymore.” He bit her wobbling lip and shut her eyes. When she opened them again that water was boiling. It never fails. She held the dagger in her hand and carefully placed it in the cauldron. She sighed and closed her eyes again and thought of Leo and her mother and Julia and the Camerons and Lu and Ed and the Professor and Clara and John and she forced her lids against her eyeball to think of Peter only with love. And she thought of Leoghan speaking his ancient name in her mind as a prayer.

She did not notice when three of her teardrops fell in the cauldron on the blade of the dagger. She did not see when they merged into a spiral of light that hardened into a crystal-metal alloy that in turn got entwined with the other three spirals of metal forming a new blade with four cutting edges. She did not realize that the dagger had become her own in a way that not even Lu could have foreseen.

The she opened her eyes and took the dagger from the cauldron with iron tweezers placing it back on the velvet cloth, carefully covering the fire mouth.

Peter must have been watching closely and spoke again when she was finished.

“That’s what you have got to say in your defence?” He let out a snort that was laughter drenched in sarcasm.

“My friend… My brother. I have passed the point of needing or wanting to defend myself.” She felt suddenly exhausted; she did not want to fight anymore.

“You have the nerve…” He stopped as rage came ahead of words.

“You don’t know me, Peter, and do not fool yourself into thinking that you do!” She swung round to stared at him. “You don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through since…” She gasped and cursed that iron hand and its nasty habit of grabbing her throat at the worst moments. “While you were here in your little paradise I was there… Alive.” She could not go on with her fight for words. “And mom…” She shut her eyes as tears came out loose. “All I wished for… A chance to say I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Peter!” She sobbed shamelessly now. It did not matter. She had found them; she had finally apologized and in her sorrow there was a sense of relief. In spite of him.

Peter shut his eyes and sighed. He wished to hold her and tell her that everything would be all right. But the image of his feverish wife next door appeared in his mind and froze him instantly.

“My wife is hurt because…” The impossible scream between teeth.

“No Peter! You can blame me if it makes you feel better, for everything I did before you …died. But not for this!” She filled the space between them and stared at the face above her own.

“Go ahead, brother, blame me, beat me if you want; I’ll be taking your punches until your will grows tired, by the Great Mother! But know this: I am not to blame!” She defied him chin up shaking all over.

Furious he grabbed by the shoulders and shook her. She shut her eyes and recalled a similar situation wondering why on bloody hell the men in her life should often reach the point when they wanted to spank her. But she had to admit that was something she was probably to blame; and she blessed the men she loved with a smile forming in her lips.

“I don’t want to beat you!” He shouted with tears running down freely now.

“What do you want from me? She whispered opening her eyes to face him.

“I want it to stop! I want you to end it!” He burst into nervous laughter as he realized how pathetic and pointless his words were. He knew it had not been her fault as well as he knew there was nothing she could do to change it.

“As you wish.” She hardly recognized her own voice as a strange calm fell upon her.

Then she ran to the table and grabbed the dagger. In a second she cursed herself, as she should almost hear the hissing of burning metal against the palm of her hand. The next she realized with surprise that the metal felt cold against her skin and ran out of the kitchen leaving a startled Peter blinking at the open door.

A couple of seconds later he was running after her but she had already disappeared beyond the iron gate among the small crowd of warriors gathered at the garden.

* * *


*end of Chapter Six*

Chapter Six is done. the whole story is done on paper, but it changes as i type it...

feedback? ok, i know, it's too long... maybe copy and paste for a rainy evening...

Dea, i've been copying and pasting each installment so far..this one's a juggernaught, and i'm currently in the process of revising for important exams etc...I'll get through it and post you some feedback as soon as i can. Well done for sticking at this...as a writer you have far more patience than i do