imprisoned,
inches away from invented innocents
a pair of phoenix's perched,
pretty feathers preening,
praising their phantom of prayer

these steel bars scream of the
infinity
solid, cold, black
back-to-back, bleeding
until my blue eyes blur
blue blood

a lonesome lamp barely illuminates,
the broken bulb struggles to shine
even from behind the bars,
it still beckons
welcome to the reckoning

memories of Monica, marred by
my space
can you recall our oath?
I wrote you an ode,
and time has eroded all intents
scissor these shackles, and unleash
me

the deadwood drifts downstream
decaying
dying
drunkenly deafened in this salty sea,
helpless,
searching and hoping for home

my Monica married before my time
she's only visible from the sea, and
the sea invisible to her

This poem has a rhythm that is quite enticing and draws you through the poem.
The strongest part for me was your use of alliteration in:

You have some lines in here that I have read over and over and

is such a strong opener and I like that from this one opening line I don't know what meaning you intended but it allows me to prescribe my own meaning to it. I think this is a very smart poem with some very attractive stylistic elements. You have some beautiful imagery in this and the stark, concise style you have used is awesome.

my favorite lines

"imprisoned,
inches away from invented innocents"

"she's only visible from the sea, and
the sea invisible to her"

i did not quite get the meaning with my mind. but i had the strangest feeling reading this. i felt this strange detachement, as if i were in the author's shoes but actually hovering over my body, a little up and back. i saw sunlight as if the sun was setting in the ocean, but i was not looking at it, but at the dark sprouts of reef rock washed by high tidal waves on my right. it was cold and i was wearing a corduroy jacket, the color of camel bristle. i was frowning because of the light and the headache i'm actually feeling now. i had light chestnut hair in a pony tail (which i have not), the ocean breeze making the loose strands whirl around my face. at the same time i was watching me holding the iron bars of the fence slowly rocking myself back and forth with a slight sense of danger because the rusted rail moved with me. i felt suddenly really sad, as if i were saying goodbye.

I really like this a lot man. You have a nice way of hitting one over the head with something that is so different that 98% of everything else you post

The only thing that bothers me a little is that to me, a certain part of the emotion of this piece gets a little lost in the imaginary... although I'd rather read this again this weekend because my head might be a little clearer for this as opposed to what it is like after work...

Thank you all kindly.