Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:06 am Posts: 3146 Location: Orange County, California
Another song I am working on: “Authority”
Authority You really think you have got a hold on me But you’ve got two hands clutching the wheel of conformity And I’ll keep pulling away…
Authority You’ve got your rules in place, but I don’t see how they apply to me Would it be too much to ask for you to let me be Cause when you push, I disobey…
It’s hypocrisy To put me in a cage And tell me that I am free To take my rights, to take my will, my dignity To say what’s right for you is always right for me
Authority Can’t we both agree to disagree You say you’ve got a place in line reserved just for me But I’d rather wander astray…
It’s hypocrisy To put me in a cage And tell me that I am free To take my rights, to take my will, my dignity To say what’s right for you is always right for me
Yes, it’s insanity Forced to walk the crowded path ahead of me I feel chained to ground, trapped by these walls they’ve built for me But I’ll keep chipping away…
_________________ I waited all day
you waited all day
but you left before sunset
and I just wanted to tell you
that the moment was beautiful
just wanted to dance to bad music
drive bad cars
watch bad tv
should have stayed for the sunset
if not for me
Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:06 am Posts: 3146 Location: Orange County, California
Alessiana wrote:
As usual, this is strong. What is it with you anyway? It sounds so easy coming from you. : P
I appreciate that a lot. Thank you. I'm away at school now and I've been using my free time here to write. I feel like it's keeping me sane and allowing me to process how I feel. I get so frustrated with the superficiality that exists among people my age. No one here seems to want to talk, or play music, or enjoy a sunset...they'd rather get insanely drunk and hookup with random people. So until someone decent comes along, it's just me, my guitar, and my journal.
_________________ I waited all day
you waited all day
but you left before sunset
and I just wanted to tell you
that the moment was beautiful
just wanted to dance to bad music
drive bad cars
watch bad tv
should have stayed for the sunset
if not for me
As usual, this is strong. What is it with you anyway? It sounds so easy coming from you. : P
I appreciate that a lot. Thank you. I'm away at school now and I've been using my free time here to write. I feel like it's keeping me sane and allowing me to process how I feel. I get so frustrated with the superficiality that exists among people my age. No one here seems to want to talk, or play music, or enjoy a sunset...they'd rather get insanely drunk and hookup with random people. So until someone decent comes along, it's just me, my guitar, and my journal.
I was going to say something else but I realized how stupid it was.
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2004 12:03 am Posts: 18376 Location: outta space Gender: Male
BadRadio16 wrote:
Alessiana wrote:
As usual, this is strong. What is it with you anyway? It sounds so easy coming from you. : P
I appreciate that a lot. Thank you. I'm away at school now and I've been using my free time here to write. I feel like it's keeping me sane and allowing me to process how I feel. I get so frustrated with the superficiality that exists among people my age. No one here seems to want to talk, or play music, or enjoy a sunset...they'd rather get insanely drunk and hookup with random people. So until someone decent comes along, it's just me, my guitar, and my journal.
i hear ya man, by fluke i'm living alone right now... but its really grounding me like nothing else... screw people they'll come to your shows its just you and your passion. that's what its all about
_________________
thodoks wrote:
Man, they really will give anyone an internet connection these days.
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:24 am Posts: 37009 Location: In Missouri, they would (will) not let me be Gender: Female
BadRadio16 wrote:
Alessiana wrote:
As usual, this is strong. What is it with you anyway? It sounds so easy coming from you. : P
I appreciate that a lot. Thank you. I'm away at school now and I've been using my free time here to write. I feel like it's keeping me sane and allowing me to process how I feel. I get so frustrated with the superficiality that exists among people my age. No one here seems to want to talk, or play music, or enjoy a sunset...they'd rather get insanely drunk and hookup with random people. So until someone decent comes along, it's just me, my guitar, and my journal.
_________________ Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free
Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:06 am Posts: 3146 Location: Orange County, California
Bacchanal wrote:
jcurley wrote:
the content feels very similar to society for me
very much so......
I wrote this before I ever heard Society, so I guess it's just coincidence.
_________________ I waited all day
you waited all day
but you left before sunset
and I just wanted to tell you
that the moment was beautiful
just wanted to dance to bad music
drive bad cars
watch bad tv
should have stayed for the sunset
if not for me
i don't know, i hope you take this as constructive criticism, but for me, the imagery you use in these lyrics just seem very tired.....i'd like to see something that uses the theme of "authority" and our struggle against it, but that doesn't involve the use of the ol' cage/chains/walls/hypocrisy imagery.....it's like i've heard this song many times before, and i'm just looking for something a bit more cryptic or less-direct i guess...but that's just me....
i think a good challenge would be to try to write some stuff with that in mind....a conscious effort to not use the played-out imagery of cages and chains.....the sentiment and talent is obviously there, but it would be interesting to tweek it a bit.....i'll try to write some stuff too, and see what comes from it.....
_________________ "Every man thinketh his burden is the heaviest..."
i don't know, i hope you take this as constructive criticism, but for me, the imagery you use in these lyrics just seem very tired.....i'd like to see something that uses the theme of "authority" and our struggle against it, but that doesn't involve the use of the ol' cage/chains/walls/hypocrisy imagery.....it's like i've heard this song many times before, and i'm just looking for something a bit more cryptic or less-direct i guess...but that's just me....
I agree completely. The imagery is well overused. I like the structure and idea of it all, though, so it'd be easy to make it great by just changing those visuals.
Joined: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:06 am Posts: 3146 Location: Orange County, California
Bacchanal wrote:
i don't know, i hope you take this as constructive criticism, but for me, the imagery you use in these lyrics just seem very tired.....i'd like to see something that uses the theme of "authority" and our struggle against it, but that doesn't involve the use of the ol' cage/chains/walls/hypocrisy imagery.....it's like i've heard this song many times before, and i'm just looking for something a bit more cryptic or less-direct i guess...but that's just me....
i think a good challenge would be to try to write some stuff with that in mind....a conscious effort to not use the played-out imagery of cages and chains.....the sentiment and talent is obviously there, but it would be interesting to tweek it a bit.....i'll try to write some stuff too, and see what comes from it.....
This is great constructive criticism. I definitely understand what you are saying and I'm considering taking another look that this one. I have been writing and then posting my lyrics right away without looking into them too critically. I would consider this a rough draft, rather than a finished product, so all of these comments are very helpful.
_________________ I waited all day
you waited all day
but you left before sunset
and I just wanted to tell you
that the moment was beautiful
just wanted to dance to bad music
drive bad cars
watch bad tv
should have stayed for the sunset
if not for me
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