before death... :

As a Fully Feared Unknown

I've kept a solitary perspective
With point of view at the center of a chaos
Painfully sound, hatred squints
Atop what were seemingly good and pure intentions

As a fully feared unknown
I'm this serious, humorless thing
Familiar stranger to distance
And as friends, so easily; They team

As though I'm cursed...
HA! It's happened again!
With this worn, strung out expression
more to attack... more to plan for them

And they'll be heightened
From 'all is equal'
Now 'who is normal'
I'll see it's mutual.

To use restrictions and boundaries
'They're INCONSIDERATE!'
'THEY IGNORE ME!'
A familiar, self-deprecating territory...

And I know then, I'll be found
again, sometime off in a cozy place
With safety, comfort, satisfaction
ONLY in solitude. In privacy.

And how I miss old X now.
More than ever, a friend...
In my fearful and desperate
lack of, longing for
And or and...

i liked that, in the state im in a few of those lines bothered me quite a bit.