I have The Book in front of me
but its not open.
A book I have read and re-read a million times.
OK maybe 4 or 5,
when the phone rings.

The regular ring of a metal bell
struck by a more solid metal ball
I pick it up and pretend to
abide by The Book

In it.
Responses to persons
on the verge of suicide
but they are generic answers to profound questions
I mostly paraphrase
if not use honesty alone

how does one answer:
“I don’t want to live anymore,
why should I live”
with a cliché?
Well sometimes, depending on the exact phrasing you can

In most cases though,
they are looking for
compassion, honesty and truth of heart
and this I give, no matter how tough the answers

The Book is faux brown leather with gold
lettering down the spine
it says: Suicide Response Handbook
S.R.H. in the trade

For such grim phone calls
a cold question and answer philosophy
“Planned out” word for word:

“You have so much to live for.”
“Think of your family and friends.”
“Everyday here is precious and there IS help out there,
Don’t worry I’m listening”

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Is mostly what they hear right before
the gun goes off
But if you give them a piece of you
a piece of your heart and pain and love
more often than not they listen

all anyone is looking for is someone
who cares
who listens
who WILL be there

These are the simple truths
to seemingly impossible circumstances
and daring to live is reason enough to live
so dare yourself often

The phone will never stop ringing
the questions will never cease
Peace, that’s all
no more no less

in the way we can we do
but never completely shut The Book
its literature is so sacred
to those desperate souls seeking answers from those with no answers

answers sought after in a light
a light that does not literally exist
‘cept in ones heart and if that heart
is blackened then so be it
dead
dread
dirt

The noise outside my door of
voices loud crying to each other
maybe friends
maybe relatives
who knows maybe Lovers

these noises a torment to me in the
awful sleepless nights
that roll one into another
into another and again into…
well, you know

More phone calls calling
calls calling out pathetic and
sad and no more better than you or me
they call lacking Love lacking strength

though the latter is not entirely true
their strength is always stronger than
they ever know stronger than I or you or we
could ever be

And the struggle goes on
“Good and Evil”
“Better or Worse”
“’Fucker’ or Saint”

I pray out loud that they save
themselves
I am a shell of a man
reading and learning from books

books created long before
science could prove them “wrong”
Try telling that to the one on the
other end of the phone

it means nothing:
“Read Copernicus
Read Dyonisys
Read Shakespeare

The Literation will astound you
yes that’s it the Literation will astound
but take that greasy filet knife
away from your wrist

you could catch syphilis
or something of the like
nothing good if you survive
nothing more exciting than your life

I’m sorry for rhyming
it was happenstance
I just don’t want to say the wrong thing
but what is the wrong thing?”…

Another hang up
happens all the time
no way to know what happens
‘cept the “Obits”

Sounds like another storms rolling in,
outside the clean smell of rain,
almost innocent her hair and smooth
the only sanity in my life

believe, please believe
cause its the one thing
that matters
her, she, young woman, girl, female

the descriptions don’t matter
just believe you’ll have
one day and one day you will
and one day the pain WILL recede

Take it from me…

Dead at 33…

i love it, i think your words are so cuttingly blunt (intentionally or not) you cant not be moved by it. I find that as a writer you walk such a fine line between leading and implied words and i think you balance it well, i really do like it.

thanks Naddy (can I call you Naddy?)
the thing most people tell me about my writing is that the imagery and the flow are what stand out...

I liked it a lot!!

whatever this thing was gave me a hard on. do you mind if i incorporate it into a song i'm working on? it'll be for shits and giggles....

let me know.

you always amaze and scare me. i disagree, though. you're no shell man.