grandma is disappointed in me
because i cuss a lot on facebook
which is bullshit because
she shouldnt even know about it
but it turns out that women
ages 45 and up are the fastest
growing demographic on that site
for the past few months
so even though im not
quote unquote friends with her online,
i guess she saw
on my cousin's wall
that i called dane cook
a talentless dickless horsefuck
and even when im not that vulgar
she says she doesnt like my attitude
she says stop posting lyrics
as my updates in an attempt to
be cool or mysterious
(how does she even know?)
well, shes got me there
but while i dont want to
offend her or hurt her feelings
i shouldnt have to worry about
my own grandmother
reading my stupid meaningless
online facebook bullshit
Matt is: "searching for a heart of gold" 3 hours ago
Matt is: "having a great day " about an hour ago
Matt is: "....." 25 minutes ago
Matt is: "fuck this! sorry grandma" 3 seconds ago

Wait...am I your grandmother?

yup. can i have some money?

Not until you clean up your act, bucko.

how bout if i just rake some leaves out in the yard