I'm at a place in my consiousness of having come very far; experienced, artistically, as far as I could have possibly let myself, mysterious, unwelcoming things with varying results... then back to the start... tranquility, at best, I'm content. I allow myself to stay still here, for a while, preventing an unnecessary waste of time or energy. You may call this a period of depression, which comes and goes with me, relying on any given simple tragedy I adventurously stare down from afar with a giddy spirit... til it approaches and like water desists the flame in my soul. I spoke aloud to myself like a broken record gaining emotional momentum earlier today alone in the car by the river, "what am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do now?!" til tears were finally released, and I smoked cigarettes, wondering to myself, "Is this the end for Mr. Jon Tree?". This life has my world in shackles. I'm jobless (besides a very temporary job at a shooting range I will be starting soon) and living on what my mother gives to her son out of the generosity of her heart. I have an itch to get the hell out of this house, and poison ivy. But what then, a bottom of the barrel job to pay the bills? I can hardly stay sane and healthy without that, let alone with that, which I've experienced countless times before. I'd rather not go back there. Rather not and rather... what, then? SIGH

Oblivion awaits

Eventually

did you get a chance to listen to the music i thought of for this?