Iceagecoming's current song in the RM original music contest inspired this.



Oh and though you are breaking me
I just can’t let go
You received all my longing
I took all the stories you told
The spring was a year ago
And I think I knew you then
But the winter is cold and long
It’s made strangers of us and all that we’ve known

Beneath my smile I hid the defiance I never did show
Beneath your words the complication you wanted me to know
But those webs are always invisible
We had no idea of the trap until caught in something tangible
A push and shove of impatience and reality
A two way street shut down indefinitely
With one way in, one way out
We crashed head on and headlights glared
Showed us the imperfections we always knew were there
As I worried about your heart we found who really cares
You found I really care

I really like this set of lines. especially the headlights showing the imperfections of eachother during a car crash... very apt and effective imagery. I would like so see more ideas like this fleshed out across the whole piece. also i like the first three lines in the above quote, because they work together nicely to build an idea, that sets up the next like. i'd say the one thing is "push and pull" makes mores sense than "push and shove" when you go on to talk about the two way street. otherwise some good stuff here.

Thanks! That's probably my favorite part as well. I also like the idea of using pull instead of shove.