Red Mosquito • View topic

Plastic Soul · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:27 am

A liar is me.

But I did get all smooth and tell a girl she really should try out my new bed tonight. And she didn't laugh, or run away, or anything. And beleive me, I'm very easy to laugh at in my work clothes.

bullet proof · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:29 am

Plastic Soul wrote:

A liar is me.

But I did get all smooth and tell a girl she really should try out my new bed tonight. And she didn't laugh, or run away, or anything. And beleive me, I'm very easy to laugh at in my work clothes.

Was that YOU?

Jim · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:30 am

i knew you were lying before i even opened the thread.

Plastic Soul · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:30 am

bullet proof wrote:

Plastic Soul wrote:

A liar is me.

But I did get all smooth and tell a girl she really should try out my new bed tonight. And she didn't laugh, or run away, or anything. And beleive me, I'm very easy to laugh at in my work clothes.

Was that YOU?

You caught me. I suppose it was a far better line than 'hey baby, ever fuck a clown?'.

bullet proof · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:31 am

Plastic Soul wrote:

bullet proof wrote:

Plastic Soul wrote:

A liar is me.

But I did get all smooth and tell a girl she really should try out my new bed tonight. And she didn't laugh, or run away, or anything. And beleive me, I'm very easy to laugh at in my work clothes.

Was that YOU?

You caught me. I suppose it was a far better line than 'hey baby, ever fuck a clown?'.

I'm sure you'd find some wack chick with a fetish that way.

washmykev · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:33 am

Plastic Soul wrote:

A liar is me.

But I did get all smooth and tell a girl she really should try out my new bed tonight. And she didn't laugh, or run away, or anything. And beleive me, I'm very easy to laugh at in my work clothes.

I'm gonna use that.

Plastic Soul · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:35 am

I've dated enough girls with creepy fetishes already.

I once went out with a girl obsessed with bananas. Like, she wanted to bring a banana to the bedroom. Usually, i'm willing to go with any request given by a woman who decides to sleep with me, but I drew a line at that one.

Scarily enough, she now works in the produce department at a grocery store.

lemoncoatedafterworld · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:39 am

bananas are good for quelling nerves. maybe she was just really freaked out by you.

ericd102 · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:41 am

Plastic Soul wrote:

I've dated enough girls with creepy fetishes already.

I once went out with a girl obsessed with bananas. Like, she wanted to bring a banana to the bedroom. Usually, i'm willing to go with any request given by a woman who decides to sleep with me, but I drew a line at that one.

Scarily enough, she now works in the produce department at a grocery store.

I believe there are many websites for this.

Plastic Soul · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:41 am

If she was freaked out by me, beleive me, the feeling was mutual.

She had an... intense... personallity.

corduroy_blazer · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:43 am

so if this thread is about not getting laid, count me in. :cry:

Jim · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:44 am

Plastic Soul wrote:

I've dated enough girls with creepy fetishes already.

I once went out with a girl obsessed with bananas. Like, she wanted to bring a banana to the bedroom. Usually, i'm willing to go with any request given by a woman who decides to sleep with me, but I drew a line at that one.

Scarily enough, she now works in the produce department at a grocery store.

i don't even want to know what's going on with the left over bananas that people don't buy. and you gotta remember that those things are going to be soft because they've been sitting out for a while. that can't look good.

we just threw them in the garbage, but that might not be the case in this situation.

bullet proof · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:47 am

Plastic Soul wrote:

I've dated enough girls with creepy fetishes already.

I once went out with a girl obsessed with bananas. Like, she wanted to bring a banana to the bedroom. Usually, i'm willing to go with any request given by a woman who decides to sleep with me, but I drew a line at that one.

Scarily enough, she now works in the produce department at a grocery store.

bullet proof · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:48 am

Oh, and in regards to bananas:

bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grain.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchini carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this crap is HOTTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the **** is this, madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Wench.
Katie_007: whatever.

Jim · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:51 am

bloodninja: i'm going to fuck your radish blossom

ledbetter10 · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 4:21 am

i really am getting laid, often

SFP · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 4:35 am

My hand and my lotion both agreed to have a three-some with my penis.

corduroy_blazer · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 1:37 pm

ledbetter10 wrote:

i really am getting laid, often

my sister goes to school in syracuse. it better not be her you're doing.

Mitchell · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 1:38 pm

ledbetter10 wrote:

i really am getting laid, often

corduroy_blazer · **Posted:** Thu Aug 25, 2005 1:43 pm

Mitchell wrote:

ledbetter10 wrote:

i really am getting laid, often

hey, dad, i can't see to good, is that ron jeremy over there?

I'm getting laid, often

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