Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:07 pm Posts: 437 Location: Melbourne, Australia Gender: Male
One of, if not the best show of all time, can't wait for the 1st of July '05
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway thorugh.
Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you?
Connie: 16
Quagmire: 18?
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'
Doctor: Well Rudolf, we finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolf: Is it pixie dust or leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, it's a tumor.
Rudolf: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?
Doctor: No, a malignant tumor.
Lois: Peter, its seven in the morning!
Brian: Thanks for the update Big Ben.
Brian & Peter: Laughter
Lois: You're drunk again!
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted from bein' up all night drinkin'.
Lois: Listen, Peter, if keep this up something terrible's gonna happen.
Peter: Somethin' terrilble... all the way to the bank!
Brian: Nice.
Man #1: Say Phil, what do you say to Happy Hour after work?
Phil: I'd say looks like Cheryl's gonna have another black eye to explain to the neighbours.
Both: LAUGHTER
Phil: Come on, I'm buyin'.
Peter: Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits! It says, 'Oooooo!'
Brian: - "Peter, those are Cherios."
Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midges, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
Camera Guy: Ah, we're still on in Boston
Tom Tucker: Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking.
Diane: Oh Tom, I don't think your wife would appreciate that.
Tom: Haha, that frigid old cow lives in Quahog she can't hear a word I'm saying.
Camera Guy: Actually, we're back on the air in Quahog.
_________________ "Alcohol and night swimming...it's a winning combination" - Lenny Leonard
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:46 am Posts: 1851 Location: Milwaukee, son. WHAT.
I love the scene about the WASPs.
Dad: My, this is a dry ham.
Mom: I may not be able to make a ham, but at least I can cook up a little grace and civility at the dinner table.
*pause*
Dad: Patty, did you know your mother is a whore?
That's not the exact quote, but it's close to that. It's so fantastic.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:38 pm Posts: 2226 Location: Mountlake Terrace Game Stop
Stewie: "Yeh and God said to Abraham, 'You shall kill your first born son.' and Abraham said, 'I'm sorry I can't hear you. Could you please speak into the microphone?' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry is this better? Check check check, Johnny could you take the high end out I'm still getting a lot of buzz over here.'"
_________________ You get smaller, while the world gets big. The more you know, you know you don't know shit.
_________________ a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively there's no such thing as death life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves
Stewie - "Damn you ice cream...come to my mouth...how dare you defy me. You! you over there! What are you looking at? Yes...damn you and such."
Peter - "How am i ever going to get $50,000?
Quagmire - "You could whore yourself out to 1000 fat chicks for $50 each...Or you could whore yourself out to 50 REALY fat chicks for $1000 each...What? Fat chicks need love too,.. but the gotta pay"
Meg - "Wow Brian you've really lost a lot of weight. Whats your secret?"
Brian - "Here's a hint...DROP THE FORK!!...FACE!"
Peter to Congressman in Strip Club - "You may have killed her when you hit her in the head with the bar stool,...you may have killed her when you stuffed all those dollar bills down her throat,...I dont know, I'm not a doctor. But i know what didnt kill her...Smoking."
I'm sure I'll be back later with more.
Last edited by kilman on Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:21 pm Posts: 89 Location: Delaware and Long Island
Chris: Dad, What's the blowhole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for son, and when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 7:46 am Posts: 1851 Location: Milwaukee, son. WHAT.
SmileInMyTree wrote:
Stewie: "Yeh and God said to Abraham, 'You shall kill your first born son.' and Abraham said, 'I'm sorry I can't hear you. Could you please speak into the microphone?' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry is this better? Check check check, Johnny could you take the high end out I'm still getting a lot of buzz over here.'"
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