Red Mosquito • View topic - Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole

Skitch Patterson · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:24 pm

So my wife is pregnant.
This not about being a dick to her.

Its about being a dick to my unborn child.

My wife is due on March the 5th, 2008.

Which is a short 6 days after.... February 29th.
Both my wife and I were born about a week early. The Dr. said that they induce labor fairly regularly for people that want a specific birth date, although they cant make any guarantees of course.

I think for birthday 1-19 the child may be bitter about this decision. However, since she will spend her life having a 2 day birthday (2/28-3/1), by the time its her 20th (which will be a friday-sunday), and 24th, she will relish in the opportunity to essentially have a 3 day birthday.

Koufax · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:29 pm

these doctors cant predict the due date any more accurately than you or I can.

what they due is guesstimate the exact date of conception, and then they just tell you exactly 9 months from that date is the due date.

our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.

so the doc tells us September 21st is the due date, and the baby came out September 6th. "3 weeks early" even tho she didnt show sings of being a premie.

doctors are morons

psychobain · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:33 pm

Koufax wrote:

our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.

Koufax · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:37 pm

psychobain wrote:

Koufax wrote:

our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.

she actually argued with me that a fucked my wife on THIS VERY DAY. and then my wife was convinced that we did too.

women :roll:

Skitch Patterson · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:41 pm

Koufax wrote:

these doctors cant predict the due date any more accurately than you or I can.

what they due is guesstimate the exact date of conception, and then they just tell you exactly 9 months from that date is the due date.

Our Dr. Has told us the same thing pretty much. However, presuming the due date is close, there is a very good chance my wife will be pregnant on 2/29, and we'll have the option to induce at that point, if we so choose.

Patrick Bateman · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:42 pm

Uh oh.
*awkward*

dirtyfrank0705 · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 3:22 pm

Go for it.

Theresa · **Joined:** Fri Nov 17, 2006 6:59 pm **Posts:** 14656

take it as it comes dude

Peeps · **Joined:** Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:15 am **Posts:** 33031

Koufax wrote:

psychobain wrote:

Koufax wrote:

our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.

she actually argued with me that a fucked my wife on THIS VERY DAY. and then my wife was convinced that we did too.

women :roll:

maybe YOU didnt fuck your wife that very day

psychobain · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 3:52 pm

that was my point, but i didnt want to hurt him

sherpahigh · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 4:31 pm

Koufax wrote:

doctors are morons

lulz

lefty · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:10 pm

sherpahigh wrote:

Koufax wrote:

doctors are morons

lulz

cutuphalfdead · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:19 pm

Peeps wrote:

Koufax wrote:

psychobain wrote:

Koufax wrote:

our doc swore 100% we conceived on December 21st. which was physically impossible because I was at a work party that night and didnt get home until 2am. and the entire week of xmas I know we didnt do it.

she actually argued with me that a fucked my wife on THIS VERY DAY. and then my wife was convinced that we did too.

women :roll:

maybe YOU didnt fuck your wife that very day

It would have been hilarious if baby Koufax came out black.

Go_State · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:38 pm

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

malice · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:51 pm

Go_State wrote:

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...

lefty · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:54 pm

malice wrote:

Go_State wrote:

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...

I did say "if."

malice · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 5:55 pm

lefty wrote:

malice wrote:

Go_State wrote:

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...

I did say "if."

ok, wait, you posted with go_state's username?

This is getting confusing.

Go_State · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:03 pm

malice wrote:

Go_State wrote:

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...

Yeah, but you can palpate them through the walls of the rectum. Well, at least in horses and cows.

malice · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:05 pm

Go_State wrote:

malice wrote:

Go_State wrote:

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...

Yeah, but you can palpate them through the walls of the rectum. Well, at least in horses and cows.

you guys are weirdo.

lefty · **Posted:** Sat Nov 10, 2007 6:13 pm

malice wrote:

lefty wrote:

malice wrote:

Go_State wrote:

If they could reach inside a woman's rectum and palpate her ovaries, they might be able to be more accurate with their date of conception. Something makes me think women wouldn't be for this.

I don't think you can get to the ovaries via the rectum, babe...

I did say "if."

ok, wait, you posted with go_state's username?

This is getting confusing.

haha, I meant he, but does it matter?

Once in a lifetime chance to be a asshole

Who is online