So my 7+ month pregnant wife left me 3 weeks ago. I can go on and on but the basic story is that we were fighting constantly and it wasnt healthy for the pregnancy.

So the first month we didnt talk and it was the most stress free and best week of my marriage. The second week we starting talking and it was fighting and insanity. The third week we have seemed to become great friends. We now show genuine love for each other and the bitterness is gone.

Anyway, I love being alone. since all we did was fight and have her complain about me. I think I am someone who can have relationships with girls but if they give me shit I can't put up with it and shut my feelings for them down.

The craziest thing of all this, in the meantime my cousin's kid was diagnosed with this shit called ashperger's syndrome. My aunt (raised me aftre my mom dies) started looking into what it was and said that it seemed exactly like me as a kid. She went and started looking up symptoms of adults with this. It turns out I have many of the behaviors associated with it. Not being able to concentrate on multiple things at a time, spouses and family members thinking they don't "get it". Not caring about other people's feelings, not even considering them, not making much eye contact with people when talking.


There is so much more to this, counseling sessions, communication w her siblings, etc. all 3 have stated that they think our relationship problems are my wife's fault because of her difficult nature. It's all so confusing. Especially with the baby coming. WTF.

Sorry to hear that, Jim. Asperger's isn't an easy thing to deal with.

i read a fair bit about asperger's syndrome because my daughter's brother has it. there are many degrees to this - from the Rain Man guy to the one you wouldn't even notice.
you don't sound like a guy that has a major kind of AS - if you have it.
and sorry to hear about this - i hope you and you're ex are going ok despite it all

That's what I thought. I befriended a guy in high school who had it pretty tough. As you said, total Rain Man situation.

Hey good luck to you and congrats on the baby.

Yeah, its odd to think but my family swears now reading about it that they dealt with all the problems related to it. I think the biggest is my not showing affection for my family and my explosive temper whenever I had trouble putting something together or with video games.

now my biggest issue is that I love being alone. I go months without talking to friends and family members that I love and I don't even care, yet I care about all of these people dearly. When I do see them I find it extremely awkward talking to them, even though I've spent the majority of my live interracting with them. When me and my wife don't see each other for a few days (when we lived together) I was perfectly fine with it. When I visit family during a holiday I hate saying hello to everyone so I try and sneak in and sit in the least crowded area. In work I can't stand to be interrupted and can't be bothered with meetings, in meetings I rant about everyone wasting my time. I am just finding out how hard it is for people to deal with me and for me to interract with them.

If I do have that it explains alot of my marital problems (wife constantly saying she is in the marriage alone, I don't care, etc). The worst thing with me is that I feel like I care, and I want to care, but in the end I never find myself doing anything that shows I care about anyone. I'm just kind of there, and any affection I show seems and feels forced. It's odd.

If you met me you probably wouldnt notice anything odd except me not really making much eye contact. I am very social otherwise, as long as we are introduced, otherwise I wont bother with you. thats the hardest thing. For me to talk to a "stranger" is nearly impossible and 99% of the time when I talk to a stranger they have to initiate it, once they do I am fine. even people I've met multiple times, if I see them I act like I've never met them before until they say something first. I feel like they don't remember me so why bother, and I'd rather not be embarrased or bother them.

i'm going to bed now but
i don't know you at all except from your posts here so i really can't tell for sure and i am no doctor but my humble theory would be that you suffer from selfishness and hedonism

Wouldn't that then be your son?

Perhaps not by blood.

That still doesn't make much sense because even if it is his step-daughter then isn't the brother his step-son?

Not that this is on topic or anything.

hahahahahahaha.


there is much more that I read that lead me to believe this. just going through my history. Too much to list here. One thing is that ALL of my close friends are friends that I made from when I was a young kid, before 7th grade. I had many friends in high school and later but never felt the need to take them further, and didnt care. When I see them I would rather ignore them than recognize them. When I talk to my friends and family I am always talking about me and my likes and problems and rarely let them tell me about their interests, when they do I "zone out" and don't care. People always tell me how they love how "different" I am than "normal" people. when they do tell me I actually love it, instead of thinking about why. I tend to have no filter in social situations, and find people in disbalief of things that I say in groups. I think one of the telling things is how people that I get close with often say that I have such a different perspective on things and should write comedies about social situations, since I like to make light of my thought process, which is usually very abnormal. I often find that the only way I can socialize is when I am drinking rather heavily. I also have a very hard time verbalizing what I am thinking. In meetings in work I am terrible at explaining myself or teaching someone something that I find simple. Instead, when I write out emails or documentation people are amazed about how well versed and concise I am, many ask "did YOU write this? It's brilliant!" My wife always has me proofread her emails and documentation because of how clear I can make them (and she has a masters degree as a reading specialist). I know that when I speak in meetings and about my work people react like I am such an idiot, yet I am one of the most respected people in my company and I am known for doing great work. I run one some of the most complex systems in the IT department in my work and am the only person out of hundreds of It employees who understand it. If someone asks me to explain it I have a very hard time, if I show them they look baffled but to me it is so easy.

Oh, and as you see I can ramble.

It's all so enlightening, yet so confusing for me.

Edit, yeah who cares about the step-thing.

Keep your head up, Jimmy. Hopefully you and wifey will be able to figure things out enough to maintain a decent relationship with each other for the sake of the kid. Despite the problems you two endured, it's not fair to the kid to bear the brun of the punishment. But from what you're saying in this thread, it sounds like you're trying to keep everything together, even if some things are falling apart. Best of luck, man.

you've just describe me there.

good luck filly fan

Fine i'll shut up.

You're a good guy Jimmac. Do not let this separation tell you otherwise.

wow, besides the specifics to your life, i feel like you're writing about me.


one thing that I want to warn you about is the confirmation bias. The confirmation bias is that people will look for information that proves what they want to believe, so you could be bringing up all of this evidence because you are looking to see that you have AS instead of not having it. Despite this, you very well could have it and if you think its a problem you need help solving, maybe you should ask your doctor or your medical insurance about a therapist visit so that it could be diagnosed/treated.

maybe when she has the baby you'll find emotions that allow you to open up more? not sure, but either way, good luck with everything.