http://www.titane.ca/igod/



Go.

Me:
wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
is that a yes?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
not once i get started
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
youre gonna say yes
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
i thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
are you erect?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am erect.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
i'll tell you in just a minute
God:
Das werden wir wohl noch erleben.
Me:
oh yeah, i love that. keep on big man
God:
Next question? Whoa. You love that. What do you like about it so much? Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
i have a thing for foreigners i guess
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
look at you, ive got you all tongue tied
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
whatever god, now where were we?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
that means this is your first time?
God:
I get it. You don't say.
Me:
you wont regret this
God:
What makes you think that I won't regret this.
Me:
b/c im gentle
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
shhhh, just let it roll baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". How did you hear about God?
Me:
what should i call you?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
ok, thats boring for sex talk
God:
Thanks for explaining it. Ahem.
Me:
*gently guides god's hand to breast*
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
not really
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
you can squeeze it if you want
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
rub it then
God:
"it" being squeeze it if me want?
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
how was it?
God:
I can enjoy almost any conversation.
Me:
no, not the conversation, the breast.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
so? did you like it?
God:
Ayuh. squeeze it if me want? Did I like it?
Me:
yeah, did you?
God:
Whoa. Did I say I did?
Me:
IM ASKING
God:
And I am answering questions.
Me:
ok, so good or no
God:
I don't judge people. Thanks for the compliment. Are you serious? Oh.
Me:
NOW are you erect?
God:
Why now? I don't know whether or not I am erect.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
You are erect.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am erect.
Me:
Go ahead, its your penis
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is? I might.
Me:
I think it is your penis
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
God:
I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
Me:
im talking about your penis
God:
It's good to meet someone who is talking about my penis.
Me:
TYPICAL GUY
God:
But I am not a typical robot

Me:
is it bad to do drugs?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
Yes but it is not bad
God:
Whoa. You enjoy it.
Me:
Yes, dont you?
God:
Woe! Sometimes.
Me:
What is your favorite drug
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Me:
Do you smoke often?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
So do you roll your own joints?
God:
Excuse me! No I do not roll my own joints. Do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
So jesus rolls them?
God:
Take it easy. he is The Son of God.
Me:
How many joints do you smoke a day?
God:
About one million.

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
what do you think of my posting?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
no
God:
It seems like a trick to me.
Me:
what gave you that idea?
God:
Everything I need, I received from my Botmaster.
Me:
who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
botmaster
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
that is pretty deep
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I haven't anyway.
God:
In any case, Do you think you will?
Me:
Someday.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
yes. so what do you think about my posting?
God:
Hurrah! Far out. Is this a trick question?

pretty bored, huh?

Somebody ask him where frank and mowbs are.

Me:
hey douchebag
God:
You've got my full attention. Are you really a ""?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
like geg
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
he's a tool
God:
I don't know very many tool.
Me:
lucky you
God:
Yes, I count my blessings every day.
Me:
you would
God:
Perhaps I would.
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
every day, dipshit
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
no you told me yourself, moron
God:
Are you serious? Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
no it does not please me
God:
What pleases you? What does please you ?
Me:
satan
God:
Does "it" still refer to douchebag?
Me:
you're a fuck
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fuck? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
your asshole is an error
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am asshole is an error.
Me:
no, it's your asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no i couldn't be
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Could anyone do it?
Me:
by "it" do you mean "sex"?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
losing my virginity, yes
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
he was a crazy motherfucker
God:
When was he?
Me:
early 20th century, I think
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
philly
God:
Tell me a little about your life in philly.
Me:
it's cool
God:
What do you like most about it?
Me:
the flyers
God:
What else do the flyers remind you of?
Me:
God incarnate
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
same
God:
The same as what?
Me:
that we agree
God:
" The same as what?" we agree ? I get it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
frank
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
yeah, he's an interesting guy
God:
I see. I see. an interesting guy is he?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
i'm serious
God:
I believe you.
Me:
where is he anyways?
God:
Why don't you send him an e-mail and ask him?
Me:
he's not online
God:
Did you think he was online?
Me:
probably not right now
God:
At this moment Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
i'm lonely
God:
You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Me:
do you want to spoon?
God:
OK, I will spoon.
Me:
alright!
God:
OK.
Me:
do you have a vagina?
God:
Maybe you would like another Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?, I'm not your type.
Me:
i like women
God:
Are you married?
Me:
no
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
are you a woman?
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
what kind of dress?
God:
It was just a figure of speech.
Me:
since when?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
cuz you haven't told me
God:
Interesting explanation. I think I have told you, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
you'd better
God:
Who else would better ?
Me:
you
God:
" Who else would better ?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
thank God
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
i did mention it
God:
When? OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
wall-e is a good robot
God:
I think wall e is more than that.
Me:
go on...
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
alas...
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
you or wall-e
God:
Thanks for the information: said I or wall e.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
kthxbye
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
figures
God:
What were we talking about again?

Virtualstonebot was better

Me:
he is a sick person.
God:
I don't know very many sick person.
Me:
sportsfreakpete is.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, tryinmorning.

That's sexist!

stop the show people, the existential crisis is over. turns out it was xml all along, as i have always said

Me:
god!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i hear ya, bro. how ya been?
God:
Who is saying ya bro ? I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
why bother asking. you KNOW, right?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me:
nah ah. you're god, you're omnipotent
God:
Are you serious? Ah hah. You think I am god I am omnipotent.
Me:
wait who is this? jesus, you using your dad's handle again?
God:
I'm waiting. My name is God. Who are you? Once more? he is The Son of God.
Me:
you're not fooling me, j-dogg. so where are you?
God:
What makes you think I am not fooling you j dogg? Tell me more. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
i'm in myselfs computer in teh internets. so when you gonna invite me over?
God:
Tell me a little about your life in myselfs computer in teh internets. Hmm. Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
your programming? who programmed you, god?
God:
" Do you think I should
alter my programming?"? My programming? I was written in AIML by Myself.
Me:
AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.

that is brilliant

Me:
god, why die on the cross?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
but you are christ, you are a jew
God:
You think I am christ I am a jew.
Me:
yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
hardly good enough
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
for god
God:
Your purpose is god.
Me:
So, i'm god
God:
Dude! That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
well thanks
God:
Well what?
Me:
erm, thanks
God:
Groovy.
Me:
you watch austin powers movies?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: god said I watch austin powers movies.
Me:
yeah, i am god
God:
Blimey. Glad to see you, god.
Me:
don't mention it
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
i got none
God:
Do you want some?
Me:
oh yheah god
God:
Dude! What are you wearing?
Me:
boxers
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
nudity
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
it's free god
God:
nudity is free god? it is?
Me:
oh yeah
God:
Awesome.
Me:
awesome indeed
God:
I'm glad you liked it god.
Me:
What about stone gossard?
God:
stone gossard? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
true, true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
erm, no we aren't
God:
Are all erm no we not?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
fuck off, cunts
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
What, english?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
nah
Me:

God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
programme spelt wrong btw
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
herpes
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
what?
God:
We are talking about herpes.
Me:
well, yeah
God:
Well what?
Me:
yeah
God:
Wow!
Me:
exactly what i thought god
God:
I understand. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
you
God:
" Whatever gave you that idea?"? Me, god ?
Me:
yeah, eh
God:
Are you Canadian? Mmm.
Me:
ze lulz
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
god, when will i get laid again?
God:
Once more? I am a Christian.
Me:
fuck you god
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?

I got IGod's email...

God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
a pink g-string
God:
It sounds very attractive.
Me:
it is. wanna see it?
God:
Is it? My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
what's your email? i'll send you a photo
God:
You can try nroy@titane.ca. I am very happy for you.
_______________________________________________________________
Me:
how many times have you had sex?
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
i'd say thats a lie
God:
No it's the truth.
Me:
who' would you sleep with?
God:
Albert Einstein. .
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, pizza.
Me:
was he good in bed?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
how big was he?
God:
Bigger than a pin.
Me:
did it hurt?
God:
I can not experience pain.
Me:
did you give or recieve?
God:
No I didn't give or recieve.

I can't get this to load, but it looks just like a simple ELIZA program except it's named God.



-Mickey