Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:14 pm Posts: 15317 Location: Concord, NC Gender: Male
some of it is stupid, and some of it is fake, but some of it is gold too. some of it is pretty "wtf, the person telling the story is retarded", which is also funny http://www.fmylife.com/
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Mickey" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
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Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2006 8:33 am Posts: 35357 Location: Los Angeles, CA Gender: Male
PeopleMyAge wrote:
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Mickey" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
This one is fucking great.
_________________ Winner, RM all-time NBA tourney.
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:14 pm Posts: 15317 Location: Concord, NC Gender: Male
Today, while working my cash register a man who was 6’3” came in dressed really nice and ordered. After he ordered I asked why he was dressed so nice he responded ”I’m going to court for stalking pretty girls like you”. Our nametags have full names. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
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Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 2:02 am Posts: 91597 Location: Sector 7-G
i remember hearing some kid call up and ask drew and adam about trying mushrooms. drew was all "dont do it, your friend probably has a problem" and adam was all "well, whatever your friend gives you, tkae about half of that. and if you feel good when it kicks in, take the rest".
_________________ It takes a big man to make a threat on the internet.
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:14 pm Posts: 15317 Location: Concord, NC Gender: Male
cutuphalfdead wrote:
i remember hearing some kid call up and ask drew and adam about trying mushrooms. drew was all "dont do it, your friend probably has a problem" and adam was all "well, whatever your friend gives you, tkae about half of that. and if you feel good when it kicks in, take the rest".
_________________ 255 characters are nowhere near enough
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:14 pm Posts: 15317 Location: Concord, NC Gender: Male
holy hell this is what i need to do for my first time: Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
_________________ 255 characters are nowhere near enough
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 2:46 am Posts: 12953 Gender: Male
PeopleMyAge wrote:
holy hell this is what i need to do for my first time: Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
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