So I have this roommate/tenant of which the following are true:
a) Stays up late, and makes noise sometimes
b) Does nothing but watch TV
c) Is a slob (doesn't wash his dishes, throw out his garbage, etc.)
d) Is running about a month behind on the rent, and I'm pretty sure that he'll fall further behind, based on income and spending habits
e) Happens to know alot of my friends

What does one do in this situation? I'd like to be able to just evict him, but (e) kind of makes that difficult. I asked him politely ten minutes ago to wash his dishes and throw out his garbage, but he just half-heartedly said "yeah ok" and is still watching TV as we speak. It's really started to wear on me, as I find it hard to just come home, relax, and chill when the place is a mess and someone's sitting there flipping through channels.

Any ideas?

that sucks man, I think you might have to have 'the chat' with him
tell him you are gay and you are developing feelings for him

I hate evicting or having the chats with roommates that are my friends.

:-\

This made me laugh... hard.

how hard is hard?

I think you missed the part about him knowing people that I know. Otherwise, I'd do it.

Tell him he's got 2 weeks to sort himself out or you are going to tell all of your mutual friends exactly what he's like.

Or you could kick his face in.

dude it might be worth you having to 'play gay' for a few months in front of your entire group of mates to shake this dude. Then after a few months come out of the 'straight closet' and tell everyone you had it wrong.
problem solved

rick roll him and make him fear for his own safety

Dick-roll him.

lol

Just be straight up honest with him. No games.

Sometimes games are just games.

start acting like alessiana. he'll eventually move out because he fears his safety.

Spoiler: show

.

have you tried fucking his sister?

Unless you intend to bang his sister, and a good relationship with this dude is critical for this to happen, just tell him to get his fucking act together. I remember my best friend having to deal with this kind of situation for a year. In the end they stopped being friends and went their seperate ways, and so he lost a year being miserable. The tipping point in their friendship was when he was so upset that the guy left his dirty dishes for the 1000th time in the kitchen, my best bud actually put the pile of dirty dishes on his pillow. The douchebag's reaction? "Oh that's weird" and then he promptly returned them to the kitchen - he never cleaned them

Sorry, I don't know what alot means or I'd help.

If you like him and don't want to destroy your friendship, then talk about everything with him. It may or may not go well but at least you're making an effort not to be a complete dick about it by trying to come to some agreement with him.
Tell him what's bothering you, and whatever ideas you have for making it a better living arrangement.

If you don't like him much and just want to get him out of the house then let him know that the living situation isn't working out and he should start looking for another place to live.

why should that effect you helping him?

you could act like an smug, arrogant, know-it-all and see if he gets sick of it and moves out on his own. or did that not work?