So last week I started a temp job that will probably last through next week, where I am sitting in front of a computer for eight hours a day grading, based on a strict 1-6 rubric, fifth grade standardized writing tests. It is maddening in its monotony and pointlessness. I could start a McP-style thread with all of the silly things these fifth graders write, but I signed a confidentiality agreement and I take my word seriously. The most I'll tell you is that ten-year-olds are deathly afraid of spiders, and that "a hippo can break you in half, did you know that?"
Instead, I will tell you about a co-worker of mine that I thought I could share a nice brief lunch with, maybe chat about the tests or the Jets or the snow today. He looked approachable, kinda nerdy looking black guy about my age. I put down my sandwich across the table from him, said hello, and stepped away to go fill my mug with hot chocolate. By the time I returned he had taken from his lunch box a Lunchables container

complete with Capri Sun and Reeses, and proceeded to talk to it.
"Aww yeah, look at you," to the cracker.
"Oooh, yes," to the thin turkey slice.
His smile was as wide as mine would have been had my mother ever allowed me to eat Lunchables when I would ask for them, twelve to fifteen years ago.
His excitement escalated as he constructed his sandwich. Just as he takes his first bite, he quite audibly said (to his Lunchable mind you, not to me, not to anyone else around, definitely to his Lunchable) "aaaaaaawwwwww nigga, awwww, niggaaa waat?" nom nom nom

I don't believe that for one second.

you should write commercials

def a true story, chud. I typically wouldn't poke fun at a guy doing this sort of thing, but I know for a fact (since he's doing the same as I am) that he is a college graduate with at least 10 credits in the English department of his chosen institution. And he's telling your children how smart they are.

Asher, my mother wouldn't let me have Lunchables either. Especially not the pizza kind.

Me neither.

She should have just let me have them.

Now I have to sneak junk food into my room like some kind of animal.

you might as well be eating rubber or plastic. Those lunchables are so processed it's disgusting.

Oh I'm glad I wasn't allowed to eat that crap.

You were deemed "cool" and "sought after" if you brought lunchables for lunch.

My mom made my lunches. Ugh!

My mom made me lunches, once upon a time. Then she just gave me a dollar and I had to eat the uncool state-sanctioned processed crap food instead of the very cool Lunchables processed crap food.

I didn't qualify for free lunch :/

privileged post

you would have gotten fat like i did

I didn't mean to imply that I did. I didn't qualify. I paid full price for

am i the only one who sees liz like this



then the bitch eats a lunchable under her covers past midnight

Does anyone else see peeps's avatar as a muppet on the toilet?

Peeps is being quite the dicc to me today. first some crosseye gal and now a mogwai? :/

It was pretty embarrassing being the only kid in class giving the teacher money ever week :/

mogwai are totes cutie