so i have an interview this week with my company's top competitor.

i don't want to presume anything, but if i get a job offer, i'm starting to wonder how i should handle it with my boss. she hates these people with a passion and she has been 'grooming' me for 3 years. plus, anyone that's read my posts about work knows that she is a livewire. i know you don't have to tell your employer which company you're leaving for, but i'm not really sure how i would be able to dodge that question.

has anyone ever experienced this or have any advice? i would give 2-3 weeks notice and since we're a very small company, i think she might want me to try to train new people or help out before i leave, but if i told her i was leaving for the competitor, i can see her just throwing me out that day (i wouldn't blame her).

even if i don't get a job offer, if i stayed in this industry, i would likely be leaving for a competitor anyway (although this one is the main one). this is going to be a very awkward experience if i get the job offer (and take it). there's always the option of lying, like saying i'm moving somewhere else and need to leave the job, or something like that, but she would eventually find out and then i would have been dishonest and i'd rather play it straight even though it would be very painful. i'm not really thinking about the reference right now because she would be pissed either way.

Play it straight. It's business.

unfortunately she'll take it personally

check your offer letter and make sure you dont have a no compete clause

That's not your problem.

Couple things:
First- you should always be thinking of what is best for yourself when it comes to you career, no exceptions. I kind of get the feeling you might think you're being disloyal by possibly leaving for another job? If so- don't- if you've been groomed by this boss for the last three years she's aware of your potential and that's great but no one (in business) should think you're always just going to stick around waiting for great things to happen for you because of it- if you're dissatisfied enough with your current job to be interviewing somewhere else then great things haven't been happening for you where you currently work and it's up to you to do what you need to do in order to move yourself forward. There's nothing unreasonable about trying to get a better job, and anyone who doesn't understand that doesn't sound like a very realistic manager.

Second- you really don't have any obligation to tell anyone where you plan on going. I don't care if it's a hated competitor or not - it's not her business to know unless you decide to make it known to her.
If it were me, I'd say it's a company within your industry and you'd rather leave the specifics out of it. That should be the end of her questions- and if it isn't, it's not unreasonable to say that you don't feel comfortable discussing it further and your hope is your privacy will be respected.

I'd try to keep in mind that you are an employee of your current company, they aren't your relatives, they aren't your friends, and they ultimately will always care more about their business than they do about you- this is how businesses work, regardless of the size. If someone is trying to use mean tactics to pressure you into feeling guilty, or releasing information that's not their concern, it's kind of your call as to whether you allow that to influence you or not. - personally, I would not.
Do they discuss with their employees when they decide to make a change in their business to move the company forward? Even when it could have a negative impact on the lives of the employees? Probably not- because that's how things work in a business.

Ok- not meaning to rant I just want to make a point in telling you that it sounds like you're feeling intimidated and you shouldn't.

Best of luck, regardless.

all it says is that i have to remain loyal to the company and not engage in activities that are detrimental to the business while employed

thanks for your input malice, i pretty much agree.

i've done well for myself at this company and some people have said i should just stick it out since i've built so much goodwill and they depend on me, but i think its time that i try someplace bigger and better.

Malice is pretty much spot on.

You have no loyalty to a company, none. It is fine to have loyalty/respect for your boss, and you should show them that if you do, but if they really respected you, they would absolutely understand what you're doing.

I would be completely honest with her only if you respect her and want to keep a relationship with her. If you don't think very highly, then just tell her that you are leaving for another opportunity in the same industry and appreciate all she's done for you and yadda yadda yadda. Don't burn bridges, especially in what seems like a small industry.

I actually did this exact thing about a month and a half ago, just do what's best for you. Your boss will understand if she's rational about it, mine did. You wont be rewarded for loyalty in today's world.

play it straight paul. the new company is likely to check up you references anyways if they make you an offer. so your current boss is gonna find out anyways. playing it straight is the safe bet.

you've got it wrong i think you should leave a competitor for work

whoa... thodoks in da house

this thread is just so bourgeious withoutrings is gonna be pissed

all it's missing is a cadre of south american maids

posts like this make me realize i've missed posting with you

i thought it was atypical for companies to call your current company when you're interviewing?

i mean that's sure way to screw over your potential employee.

Yah, they definitely won't do that.

Well if they run a background search dont they call your employers?

Usually when you have a job and you interview somewhere else, they don't call your current job as its 'confidential'.

Unless maybe if you interview at some big company and the HR person doesn't give a shit and just does their job by some template.