"So then he said my mom was a cocklicker, and I'm like, no yours is, and then he punched me here, here, here, here, and here. My brother's gonna get some people and they're gonna kick his ass. But like, that's why I was late today."

All I can think of is...kid, you're not even in my class. And we're in the hallway. And school hasn't started yet.

I swear, you have the most entertaining students I've ever read about. I bet you have a spiral full of quotes that don't even make the RM cut.

Student quotes are the best.

"It's Sheenah world, Africunz!!"

Spiral? Hell. I filmed one of them ranting the other day. It was so remarkable that a minute in, I just took out my cell phone and captured the next 4 minutes of insanity.

In study hall a few days ago, I read over a few of the students' poems.

"I am the rope swing in my front yard
I am Nigeria, America, and everywhere in between
I am that music that never goes out of style
I am Party in the U.S.A.
and I am Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers and all of the other cd's I play"

I'm pretty sure my favorite piece of writing for the year is still...

"My brother is the mean one. One time he hit me in the head with a soccer ball. I have to admit he had good aim, though, he saved me from drowning."

haha, damn.

this should become a regular, like the fail and pedobear threads.

So this last passing period, one of my students comes up to me and says "I finished my missing work! Is it too late?" I tell him no, grade reports go out Wed, and he hands me a three page short story.

We haven't done any creative writing yet. We don't until second semester.

We haven't done anything that remotely looks like whatever it is he handed me...and my class is the only one he could possibly have written this thing for.

Effing middle school.

But it reads the same way all middle school creative writing reads: it's just stupid as all hell. Behold:

One day Perry was with his owner Brandon playing fetch. Both boys were throwing the ball. Someone broke into Perry's neighbor's house, so he apologized and they forgave him. Later Brandon and Perry found the robbers. Then Brandon tied them up to a pole. So. Brandon and Perry sang Yankie Doodle after. Fin.

Take it to release.

I mean it could be abstract art.

What grade are you going to give him?

what's middle school? like 12-14 year olds?

On an assignment that doesn't exist?

Sad thing is this kid is on student council. On his application, he asked me to fill in one of the recommendation slots (name of class/grade in class/comments). My comment was "possible future ninja and/or pirate."

11-13 mostly, some 14 year olds.

That reads like something Mickey could have written.

Actually, Mickey could be in your Junior High school class.

Why the hell not? We did it all the time in Philly.

That was Philly, fool.

i'm glad i clicked on this thread.

I keep telling you people, kids bring the lulz like no one else.