Joined: Sun May 21, 2006 2:02 am Posts: 91597 Location: Sector 7-G
ok so this length of rope walks into a bar and sits on a stool and orders a drink the bartender says wtf we don't serve rope here so you can gtfo the rope gets up and walks outside messes his hair up a bit ties a knot with his rope self and walks back in to try and get a drink again the bartender says wtf man arent you that same rope i just told to scam? the rope says nah man i'm a frayed knot.
_________________ It takes a big man to make a threat on the internet.
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:28 am Posts: 28541 Location: PORTLAND, ME
two muffins are in an oven. one muffin turns to the other one and says "boy its hot in here" the other muffin turns and says "wtf!! a talking muffin!!"
Q: How does one insult a mathematician? A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any epsilon>0!"
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Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.
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Q: What is a mathematician's pick when faced with the choice between poutine and eternal bliss in the afterlife? A: Poutine! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and poutine is better than nothing.
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Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:28 am Posts: 28541 Location: PORTLAND, ME
this isn't mine, i heard it on a Beck in Tokyo bootleg.
anyway:
a guy wakes up one morning and a voice in his head says, "QUIT YOUR JOB!" he calls the office and quits. the voice returns the next day and says, "SELL EVERYTHING YOU OWN!" the man complies and finds himself sitting on the sidewalk, his pockets full of cash. the voice returns and says, "FLY TO LAS VEGAS!" so the man books a one way ticket and as he's leaving the airport the voice says, "GO TO THE NEAREST CASINO!" the man follows the order and as he gets out of the cab the voice says, "GO TO THE BLACKJACK TABLE!" the man goes and gets a seat as soon as possible. the voice says, "BET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ON THIS HAND!" so the man puts all his money down for the deal, he's dealt an 8 and a 9. the voice says, "TAKE A CARD!" and the man gets the hit and its a King. the voice in the man's head says, "OH SHIT!"
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RIP Matty 
