Quotations that make you laugh or think. Quotes from this board are banned and will result in me smashing your skull in.

I'll start with master. No coincidence that he was Irish.


"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

"America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up."

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

"To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity."

"We teach people how to remember, we never teach them how to grow."

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

"I can resist anything but temptation."

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."


Oscar Wilde.

I like.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.
-George Carlin

I read somewhere that most of these "quotes" attributed to old writers and such are mostly bullshit.

"Can't we all just get along?" - Rodney King

"Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but nobody wants to lift no heavy ass weight"

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

"When your in a relationship you got to ask yourself two questions. First, if she left where would she go. Second, who would she go to. Because she can't get another you, you can get another one of her EASY."

first one that comes to mind is by woody

"there's a snake in my boots"

"ooooooh fuckHGARRRBLELELL"
-tj lavin

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled. -HST

A witty saying proves nothing

“Nothing is more powerful than an individual acting out of his conscience, thus helping to bring the collective conscience to life”

- Norman Cousins

I laughed. RIP. (Too soon, really. Hope he pulls through.)

JOKE WAS LAMER THAN FDR'S LEYGS

"Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected."

"We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language."

"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."

Oscar Wilde.


I love the last one especially. It's still accurate over 100 years later.

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."
Mark Twain

"Bad artists copy. Good artists steal."
Pablo Picasso

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
Albert Einstein

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

Winston Churchill

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.


Winston Churchill

Reminds me of one of my favorites though I have no idea where I heard it:

Originality is the art of hiding your sources.

Lady Nancy Astor - Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!

Churchill - And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

Lady Astor - Mr Churchill, you are drunk!!

Church "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."