a student in my class today decided he was going to announce this to his peers... now, understand that this kid is obviously queer as a 3-dollar bill, but his announcement has put all the students on edge... he is a white student here at a school that is approximately 75% black, 15% cuban, and 10% white... needless to say, he has put himself in a rough spot... the boys here won't even stand near him, but the girls (seems to be the black girls) are quite accepting of him... anyway, the part im wondering about or the part worth debating is, when should a child come to terms with this? when do most people?... sorry, im on the other team and have no idea what it must be like to go through this, especially in the 7th grade when kids are at the worst... i want to talk to the kid and say something... but i just dont know what to say or if it's even my place... apparently the kid's parents told him to "get over it" (his gayness)... which is kinda sad

oh, and the kid isnt actually bisexual... i'd say he's full blown gay, but bisexual is probably an easier way for him to transition

I'd say whenever it naturally occurs.

well, you like carolina, so youre both a little queer

im sure he already knows the severe bias and hate talk hes going to recieve, i would just make sure he's mentally prepared for it. its easy enough now as an adult to accept these things, but when youre a kid in highschool, you will use names that you now know better not to.

im not talking about the general bullying that goes on, i happen to think thats a good thing, but the relentless tormenting that he is likely to endure is going to be more than he can possible expect

How can bullying ever be a good thing?

the mental bullying, not the physical

it teaches people that not everyone is going to like you, that there are people out there who are different than you and those differences may cause a clash, it teaches kids to have a thick skin, its only words, and it also teaches kids how to ignore people they dont like, something they can use later on in life when they're 16-17-18 and mommy and daddy are yelling

man, I was hoping that this was a girl posting this and in 4 years she wanted to meet some 32 year old perv.

exactly... we are raising waaaaaay too many pussies in this country anymore... every kid expects everything to be handed to them, especially with the way many schools are forced to be run these days... it's a fucking shame and it's going to result in some very pathetic, sad, and scared adolescents one day... and then when they reach adulthood, lookout!

I highly doubt that a kid is prepared to deal with the consequences of such a public declaration of sexual orientation until he or she is in high school. This child is going to be brutalized for the next 5 years. No way a kid in middle school is able to decide that coming out the closet is worth 5 years of brutal abuse and teasing.

Either they develop thick skin or they decide to get a few guns and blow the heads off everyone in the school that pissed them off. Sure, being mentally bullied every day might do what you say to some kids, but I'm sure it fucks up plenty of people too.

without a doubt. back in the 80's (christ i sound so fucking old...wait a minute...i am) if guns were as easy to get ahold of as now, youd be quoting a ghost im sure. but to me, getting a gun and shooting kids up is the easiest way to deal with bullying, not the best of solutions, but it is the easiest, but you grow none as a person if you take out your anger that way.

right now, when i get pissed, and its been fairly often of late, i play basketball and played hockey last week. hitting people is a great legal way to work off that aggression without resorting to a gun

I think it's more the job of the parents to teach their kids how to deal with bullies, since everyone gets bullied for something at some point, just as it's important for parents to teach their kids about diversity at a young age. My older boy and I were watching Survivor last week, and there was a part where the gay guy (who's kicking all kinds of ass, I might add) was talking about how he's doing so well and trying hard because he was picked on a lot when he was in school, etc. Even though he came out alright from it, he still got emotional talking about it. I made a point to tell my son, "You see how this guy is still hurt over things people said to him years ago? Everyone has feelings, even if they're different. That's why it's important not to tease or bully people that are different than you in some way." Now, he's not the bully-type to begin with, but it's still important to teach them this stuff.

Yeah, and what is "the bully type"? You bigot.

black kids

OFF TOPIC - He was kicking all sorts of ass until this week, when he kinda went into bitch mode. It's almost like he was PMSing. So he got voted off.

Well, thanks for ruining this week's episode for me, which I haven't watched yet. Guess I don't need to now.

Oh shit, sorry dude. Didn't know I had to put a SPOILER ALERT up when talking about a show that aired yesterday. Sorry.

ouch.

Hey, towelie ... you brought Survivor up. If you're not fully up to speed ... I say that's your own fault!

I think it would be OK for you to tell him that if he needed someone to talk to , you'd be there. You don't have to offer any specific advice, but letting him know he doesn't have to be afraid would be a good idea. Anything the kid says that alarms you I guess could be passed on to counselors at your school or something. This kid is in for a rough next 4-5 years to say the least.
Yeah, specific advice on sexuality issues is probably a bad idea though What to do when people start kicking his ass in the bathroom, well, you deal with that stuff already, just with different motivations in other cases.

The point I was actually going to get to (yes, I actually did have a point) is this. DON'T READ BEYOND HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE OF SURVIVOR SPOILED ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE. A week after getting emotional and revealing how he had been left out his entire life and how he wasn't going to let anybody treat him as an outcast on Survivor, it appeared a though Coby (the gay guy) started to look for situations of being left out where they didn't exist. Which I can't blame him for. After being picked on and left out your entire life, I suppose you would start to expect it to happen, even if it wasn't necessarily the case. At least it didn't appear this way as the episode was edited.

Sorry again Towelie.