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 Post subject: Make a Wish Foundation
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:02 pm 
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Dying Teenager Has Only One Wish To Be Granted

CANADA CITY-- The following letter was forwarded to our staff and its contents touched us so much we decided to share it with our readers:


Billy Cavender has only one wish...

Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation:

My name is Billy Cavender, and I am fifteen-years-old. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukaemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. My disease has progressed swiftly, and has already affected my bloodstream and many of my vital organs. I have been told that my condition is terminal.

My parents are in complete shock over the news of my impending death and they spend a lot of time crying and hugging me. It seems a cruel fate to have my life taken away from me at such an early age. But I accept God's decision, and I am doing my best to cherish every living day that I have left on this Earth.

When I heard about your organization, I was excited! I have read so much about how you helped grant other young people their one true wish, the one achievable goal they could obtain before passing away from a life-draining condition. I thought perhaps you could take the time to consider my simple request, so that when I die, I will have left this Earth fulfilled, having lived each day to its fullest.


I only hope that you will read my letter and be able to help me with my small wish, the one and only thing I would wish for before the cancer robs me of my precious existence.

You see good people of the Foundation, all my life, I have dreamed of the opportunity of participating in a threesome. Yes, Make-A-Wish Foundation, before I die, I wish to have sex with two women at the same time.

Now, since I am only a fifteen-year-old with terminal cancer, I have not had a chance to live the way most teenagers do. With my deteriorating condition, I've never kissed a girl, and therefore I haven't had the chance to have sex with one woman, let alone two!

All of my guy friends have tried and tried and tried without success to get a second woman to engage in a sexual act where there is already one woman involved. This wish that you would grant me would make the envy of my peers, where before all I got was their pity. And I will die happy, knowing that I was able to participate in a sexual act with multiple partners, in this case two (at the very same time).

I don't see where this would be a problem to you and your atruistic people, knowing what amazing resources you have at your disposal. I read about the young girl with leukemia who got to skydive for the very first time, and I read about the burn victim boy who got to play ice hockey with his idol, Wayne Gretzky. I even read about the visually-impaired girl who got to go to Disneyworld.

Now if you can send a blind kid to Florida, my request for group sex shouldn't be that hard to fulfill. The girls in my threesome don't even have to be pretty, although that would be a plus. It wouldn't even need to cost your organization any money--you could probably get a couple of the volunteers to jump into bed with me, as long as it was two and not only one. I'm sure there are some adventurous foundation staff members that would jump at the chance to serve and service a young man desiring to be intimate with a couple of girls at once.

What about about other Make-a-wishers? There must be other needy people out there who could help, while fulfilling their own wishes. Maybe there are a couple of twin sisters in Dubuque, Iowa with brain tumours, whose only wish was to make it with a teenage cancer victim. You could check your database.

Damn it Make-A-Wish, I'm a horny teen who only wants to get fucked by two chicks at the same time! How hard can that be? Just send me the money, and I'll hire a couple of sympathetic hookers to do it. You can tell the foundation executives you spent the money on a Sony Playstation II! Yah, that's it. My only wish is for my very own console gaming system!

I'm sorry, the chemotherapy leaves me weakened and emotional, so I tend to lash out. Please forgive my outbursts--the sickened cries of a sexually-inexperienced young man on his last leg of life.

So please, Make-A-Wish, I hope you consider my request, the request of a dying teen who has never felt the intimate touch of two women simultaneously.

Bobby (still a virgin--and never engaged in a threesome) Cavender

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:12 pm 
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:shock:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:31 pm 
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Why stop at two girls? Aim high. Ask for at least 3 or 4.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:35 pm 
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Why go to the Make a Wish Foundation for this? I'm sure there are some street corners that will be glad to fulfill the wish for a 20 dollars and a tiny bit of crack.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:40 pm 
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Zutballs wrote:
Why stop at two girls? Aim high. Ask for at least 3 or 4.


I agree. If you want to sleep w/ 2 girls ... ask for 10. They'll probably knock you down to 5 and you'll still come out on top.

*snickers*

"on top"

:lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 3:50 pm 
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I think he should have placed a call to Hugh Hefner rather than the make a wish foundation.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:15 pm 
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jacktor wrote:
I think he should have placed a call to Hugh Hefner rather than the make a wish foundation.


Better yet, he should be writing a letter to that guy that owns the Moonlight Bunny Ranch aka HBO's "Cathouse". Hefner, psshhh :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:33 pm 
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Ampson11 wrote:
jacktor wrote:
I think he should have placed a call to Hugh Hefner rather than the make a wish foundation.


Better yet, he should be writing a letter to that guy that owns the Moonlight Bunny Ranch aka HBO's "Cathouse". Hefner, psshhh :roll:


yeah he is probablt not concerned with catching any diseases :twisted:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:44 pm 
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No diseases there. the bunny ranch is staffed by only good clean whores.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:50 pm 
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jacktor wrote:
Ampson11 wrote:
jacktor wrote:
I think he should have placed a call to Hugh Hefner rather than the make a wish foundation.


Better yet, he should be writing a letter to that guy that owns the Moonlight Bunny Ranch aka HBO's "Cathouse". Hefner, psshhh :roll:


yeah he is probablt not concerned with catching any diseases :twisted:

cold.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:12 pm 
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I don't know what to think about this. I feel sorry for him, but it seems like he's taking lightly a great organization that helps out alot of kids with cancer. If they were to actually grant this wish, don't you think they would have a tough time getting the donations they need to provide these gifts? Of course they would. Obviously he's an immature 15-year-old and doesn't understand the consequences his wish would have on the organization, but come on. I would like to punch the idiots who decided to publish this letter.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 6:21 pm 
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i have a feeling the letter is fake, and if not, I would imagine they get much worse than this.


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 Post subject: Re: Make a Wish Foundation
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:16 pm 
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satans taco wrote:
Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation:

My name is Billy Cavender, and I am fifteen-years-old...

... So please, Make-A-Wish, I hope you consider my request, the request of a dying teen who has never felt the intimate touch of two women simultaneously.

Bobby (still a virgin--and never engaged in a threesome) Cavender


Which is it? Billy or Bobby


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:20 pm 
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Um, this is not real

http://www.thetoque.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=249&Itemid=29

Man you guys are gullible

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:18 pm 
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jacktor wrote:
i have a feeling the letter is fake, and if not, I would imagine they get much worse than this.


Yeah, I kinda think it is too... First of all, the letter is a bit more eloquent than your average 15-year-old is capable of, and second, why was a copy forwarded to this publication? Probably just an incredibly sick and insensitive joke.

Edit: Well, I guess JimNasium settled that matter.

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John Adams wrote:
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:56 pm 
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Too bad this kid is gonna die. Seems like a good guy.






Oh wait, he doesnt' exist though...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 1:19 am 
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*Sorry, heard it on the radio (as real news), thought it was funny, posted what i found

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:06 am 
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JimNasium wrote:


I can't believe this had to be posted. :?

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