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 Post subject: Some people are just really twisted...
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:28 pm 
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Read this in The Sun (I don't buy it honest! I just found it on the tube on the way to work), it caught my eye and I had a good belly laugh.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/section/0,,2,00.html

Quote:
MECHANIC Chris Donald loves his work — he has sex with CARS.

And he admitted last night: “Some men like boobs and bums, but I much prefer curvy bodywork.”

Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors.

He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years — plus two motorboats and a pal’s JETSKI.

Chris, who DOES have a girlfriend, confessed: “A nice car for me is a feast for the senses. It’s about smells, feelings and tastes. If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I’d love to jump into bed with it.”

His weird obsession mirrors that of electrician Karl Watkins, who The Sun revealed was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Chris has his own website devoted to his bizarre fetish — and claims there are 500 other cranks like him, including women.

But unlike doggers who have sex with strangers in chilly car parks, the motor engineer uses a heated and carpeted double garage at his home for the strange liaisons.

He has met more than 20 people online who have driven their cars over for a service.

Most like to video Chris exhausting himself — while they are pleasuring THEMSELVES.

Chris said: “It’s all about imagination and creativity. There’s more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay.”

And he bragged: “I did have the exhausts custom made for one car because they were too small. I had them widened and rounded.

“The firm never asked why — but I loved the view while she was up on the ramp and they were working on her. I love all aspects of cars. Some people even like to taste mechanical fluids, but that’s going too far.”

Chris, who lives in the West Country, has made love to top motors including a Bentley Arnage, Porsche and Jaguar XK8.

He has also owned a string of cars that have been the object of his affections — with the latest a black 2.5litre Jaguar X-Type with cream leather upholstery.

Chris writes stories about “auto-eroticism” on his website and has penned a manual called How To Make Love To A Car.

Experts believe his fetish is the result of a condition called paraphilia, meaning unusual sexual behaviour. They also believe it stemmed from childhood incidents.

Chris said:
At a young age I’d had a girlfriend or two and as I got older had plenty of other varied partners — cars just happened to be there for me too.

I became really interested in them at 17 when I had the first one I really loved, a blue Peugeot 205 that I called Laura.

Then there was Lydia, a BMW 735i that was tuned and lowered. She was special.

Car lovers vary — a few like to remain faithful to one car all their life, others like to play the car park. Now I don’t get as emotionally attached to individual cars as I used to. They are not a substitute for humans. The truth is the opposite.

To be fascinated with any subject you have to be passionate and I love dealing with real people.

I’ve been honest about my fetish with my partners — male and female — and only one girl was jealous. I’m currently in a long-term relationship and I couldn’t be happier.

Chris believes one spark for his fetish was 1980s cult TV series Knight Rider, starring David Hasselhof and featuring a talking car.
*

He said: “When I was a young boy I used to see human qualities in cars. As I grew up I noticed I was having feelings towards cars and they began catching my eye in a certain way.”

Chris saw a psychiatrist when he was 17 and says he was told his fetish was nothing to worry about.

Another expert, forensic psychologist Dr Keith Ashcroft — who specialises in human sexual behaviour — said yesterday: “This is a very unusual condition.

“But if you consider how cars are sexualised in modern advertising it is perhaps not a surprise.

“Within the broad range of sexual activity it is at the extreme edge, but it is not something for which he requires treatment.”


:lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:41 pm 
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Aww man.... he wanted to fuck Kit?!?

Wacko.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:57 pm 
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this gives a whole new dimension to the word "exhausting".


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 6:19 pm 
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No, no, no! You don't "have sex with" cars. You "jerk off on" cars. Don't fluff yourself, weirdo.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 7:20 pm 
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This is new to me


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:33 pm 
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He'd best stay away from my awesome '97 Subaru Impreza!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:31 pm 
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I wanna see video of this, even if it means having to see dick, it'd be worth the extreme lulz. :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:48 pm 
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sportsfreakpete6 wrote:
I wanna see video of this, even if it means having to see dick, it'd be worth the extreme lulz. :lol:


you're so not helping your "im not gay!" case here.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:53 pm 
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sportsfreakpete6 wrote:
I wanna see video of this, even if it means having to see dick, it'd be worth the extreme lulz. :lol:


Why don't you bring your dad's mid-life crisis whip over to him and let him work his magic on the engine?

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:56 pm 
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Some people even like to taste mechanical fluids, but that’s going too far


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 12:43 am 
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i remember a few years back hearing about a guy who had gotten "himself" stuck into the tube you use to fill your car up with gas (the part on the car, not the actual fuel pump at the gas station)

i remembered thinking...i know i'm not large by any means, but i don't think i'd be able to get myself to fit into it, ya know? :lol:

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 12:59 am 
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:shock: :shock: :shock:

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 1:50 am 
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Rule #34 has yielded worse stuff. Last night I found a guy who posted that his greatest fantasy was getting pooped on by that dog-thing Red XIII from Final Fantasy 7. He's in love with it and he's depressed because he thinks if Red XIII were real then it would probably think he was too fat or something and not stick its dog-weenie in him.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 3:00 am 
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punkdavid wrote:
No, no, no! You don't "have sex with" cars. You "jerk off on" cars. Don't fluff yourself, weirdo.


This applies with women, just as much as cars.


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