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 Post subject: Masturbating trespasser booted from frat
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:50 am 
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http://media.www.michigandaily.com/medi ... 1352.shtml

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Masturbating trespasser booted from frat
Woman refused to leave PIKE house in mid-afternoon

By Jessica Vosgerchian, Daily Staff Reporter
3/26/07

Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission on Thursday and began to masturbate on a couch.

While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.

No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity.

She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left.

According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."

The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report.

Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.

Police said the break-in appeared to be an isolated incident.


first response to this article on the page. wrote:
I can't believe I'm the first person to comment on this article.

From what I gather about this article, frat members watched the woman masterbate for about half an hour before calling police. Is that about right?


:idea: seriously, she masturbated for HALF AN HOUR??!? which they found disturbing, yet it was only after 30 minutes that they called the cops.

hmmmmmm?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 6:36 pm 
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well, did she cum or what?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:47 pm 
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Awesome.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:28 am 
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Who would call the police? Maybe the dude was calling his buddy but misdialed or somehting.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:24 am 
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jwfocker wrote:
Who would call the police?

No shit.

So...you guys think she was gettin' all up in that, or just concentrating on the love bump?

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:52 am 
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The funniest part of that article was the fact that the chick went to Eastern Michigan. Too bad only about 3 people here will get that joke.

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 Post subject: Re: Masturbating trespasser booted from frat
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:52 am 
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Quote:
Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.
:lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:59 am 
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I came to this thread ready to post "If this had been a girl, they wouldn't have thrown her out." :|

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 Post subject: Re: Masturbating trespasser booted from frat
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:02 am 
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vacatetheword wrote:
Quote:
Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.
:lol:


I thought that was the funniest part, as well.

Another critical question to ask--is there a mugshot available? That might either explain why the cops were called or why she was there for 30 minutes.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:06 am 
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that's one of the most random things ever to happen, seriously

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:18 am 
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:shock:

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:40 am 
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I dated a girl who said she would masturbate up to and beyond 30 minutes at a time...she was mormon.

It was the single hottest thing any girl has told me in my so far brief existence on this earth.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:44 am 
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i'm suprised they didn't run a train on here

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:09 pm 
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The (apparent) fact that someone didn't videotape this disturbs me.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:26 pm 
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jwfocker wrote:
I dated a girl who said she would masturbate up to and beyond 30 minutes at a time...she was mormon.

It was the single hottest thing any girl has told me in my so far brief existence on this earth.

The masturbating part, or the Mormon part?

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 5:38 pm 
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punkdavid wrote:
jwfocker wrote:
I dated a girl who said she would masturbate up to and beyond 30 minutes at a time...she was mormon.

It was the single hottest thing any girl has told me in my so far brief existence on this earth.

The masturbating part, or the Mormon part?


probably the part where he dated a girl.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:15 pm 
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jwfocker wrote:
I dated a girl who said she would masturbate up to and beyond 30 minutes at a time...she was mormon.

It was the single hottest thing any girl has told me in my so far brief existence on this earth.


I thought mormons couldn't masturbate. She's rubbing her way to hell

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:54 pm 
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Bammer wrote:
The (apparent) fact that someone didn't videotape this disturbs me.


me too, none of these idiots had a video camera or at least a phone with video? The girl was there for a half hour, what a bunch of losers.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:57 pm 
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lol! dude I would totally buy those couches at a discount and just get them cleaned. What a waste.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:09 pm 
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loralei wrote:
lol! dude I would totally buy those couches at a discount and just get them cleaned. What a waste.

The couches in my frat house were consistently low quality pieces of shit that looked good, but fell apart after a couple years of use.

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