I've been thinking about this for quite a while. Of the people I know that are married, they are always complaining about their life. They get no sex, they can't go out as much anymore, they have no life, etc. They seem to really miss single life. To be fair I've only talked to guys about this, but I have a hard time finding anybody (except newlyweds), who are absolutely blissful in their married life. What about you guys? Was it worth it?

PS - Why can't we make polls? Can a mod set one up?

pretty much every marriage i've ever witnessed has been one person bending WAY backwards to make the other person happy.

honestly, i don't think we're really meant to spend the rest of our lives with any one person in a sense that if you're in close quarters with someone all of the damn time you're bound to get tired of them eventually/fight with them all the time/etc

5 years in and yes I'd say it's worth it. I'd say the married guys who miss going out probably got married to soon. Spend your 20's partying and then get married.

two words..
...tax
....breaks

I've been married since I was 19. 15 and a half years later and 4 kids, we still get it on every other night. I love her, she loves me. End of story.

I tip my hat to you sir.

Pretty sure that ends the thread. Well done.

I've never understood how people can say marriage changed things. that doesn't make any sense. you've signed a paper, that's the only difference pre and post the actual marriage date. so having that said, i'm pretty much in the same boat as Brainofpea with the exception that i'm going on 4 years and have no kids.

Yeah you've got to get your wiggles out. I got married at 28, it's been almost 2 years and I have no complaints.

I can honestly say that just about everyone I know, from my own father to friends, to other family members, at one point or another grew somewhat miserable and blamed their marriage. Maybe that's an easy copout or excuse, because as I get a little older, the grass looks a hell of a lot greener being married. In a related note, are there any studies/polls showing the average age of a couple getting married today as opposed to 25 years ago? Therein could potentially lie some answers.

Some people are ready for marriage as soon as they become an adult--others are never ready. Furthermore, some people find the right person for them right off the bat, while others do not. It's tough to answer this question unilaterally as a result.

Well of course there will be variables depending on personality makeup, compatibility factors , and the like, but if the result of marriages end up with overwhelmingly bad opinions, does that not possibly say something about the institution of marriage as a whole?

I'm not sure what you're getting at, and I don't think we're going disagree. Marriage is one avenue to take in building a relationship. That doesn't mean that it should be the only avenue, nor the most dominant and encouraged. I've ranted before on how too many people are rushed into marriage.

All I'm suggesting, maybe even asking, is: is it possible that the idea of marriage, at least what it represents in our culture, doomed to fail for the majority of the time? I see what you're saying about marriage not being the exclusive, nor "right" avenue for all, to which I'd also agree.

I reckon the best way for me to put it is that people can easily get sucked into the romance of the idea of marriage (not actual romance between a couple themselves), as opposed to the reality. For every little girl's dream to have her daddy give her away at a grand wedding ceremony, a lot of those little girls also end up getting divorced (using women as an example - I'm in no way laying blame only to women for failed marriages). The social pressure to live the "standard" way, i.e. marrying at a certain age and starting a family, could have a lot to do with it. So perhaps it's not the institution that is flawed, but the social demands that has warped its idea.

Just food for thought. Having never been married, and after hearing so many horror stories about the restraints of the marriage contract, I'm curious as to others' take on it and possible reasons, or even solutions. That's all.

people live longer, and "til death do us part" means a hell of a lot more than it did 50 years ago.

With the divorce rate as high as it is, do you honestly believe that?

the divorce rate is barely higher than it was when the divorce revolution began in the 1960's...it stays at about 50%.

but i don't see how your comment is relevant to mine. i meant to indicate that more people are getting married later in life, as AS put it, to "get their wiggles out" first before making the plunge.

i guess i don't really have a point except that i'm glad i waited until i was 33 before i got married. i've had enough wiggling, and if more people waited and until they were mature enough to understand "til death do us part" then the divorce rate may just start to go down.

but people are stupid so I am not holding my breath.

Yup. I hate to say it cause it really sucks the magic out of it, but there is more to marriage than love, devotion and a fairytale ending. There are the tax breaks afforded to married couples, not to mention the increased quality of lifestyle that can be afforded when you factor in two incomes (provided they both work) versus one.


Marriage scares the bejesus out of me, especially now that my gf of 3.5 years is seeing all of her friends get married. I can almost feel the shotgun in my back

do NOT go into a marriage just beacuse your gf's friends are getting married. i waited so long partially because my husband never ever wanted to be married. if i had tried to force him to marry me when he was not ready (when all my firends were already hitched and popping out babies), i'm convinced that no amount of love could have saved us.

then he decided he wanted to get married after all, and the sheer fact that i knew he was really ready and really wanted it made all the difference.

Marriage is working out great for me. For all my jokes, I'm waaaaay better off than I would have been otherwise.

Plus, there's that whole love thing.