Post subject: how to raise kids regarding religion
Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 6:24 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
so i just had lunch with my very roman catholic grandparents and got in a huge argument. golden rule #1 should be never ever argue with grandparents, but i'm full of piss and vinegar.
here's the dilemma i came down to in telling them how i'm going to raise my kids:
-- they think i should have my kids go to bible class/catholic class while growing up, like i did. this way, at 18, when they go to college, they've learned about the religion and can go forth to make their own choices in life. at least they know catholicism, right?
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'? of course, they think christianity has a leg up for obvious reasons.
-- and what about teaching them nothing about religion until a certain age? thomas jefferson believes kids are too impressionable to handle something like religion. how about i wait till they're in their teens to start talking to them?
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Last edited by corduroy_blazer on Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:46 pm Posts: 9617 Location: Medford, Oregon Gender: Male
#3. My younger son is only 3, but as my older son (almost becomes more knowledgable of the way the world works, I tell him "There are many beliefs out there when it comes to God. I'm leaving it up to you to figure out on your own what you believe, when you feel that you're at a point in your life to seek out that knowledge." I think they'll respect me much more as adults than if I cram some religion down their throat from the time they're little.
Remember c_b, kids will believe anything you teach them.
_________________ Deep below the dunes I roved Past the rows, past the rows Beside the acacias freshly in bloom I sent men to their doom
Last edited by meatwad on Thu May 11, 2006 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:54 am Posts: 7189 Location: CA
#4 Teach them about the Flying Spaghetti monster, so when they get older and realize its all a hoax they will equate religion with myths like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'?
I can't help but wonder how many languages you feel you must have them learn.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
tyler wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'?
I can't help but wonder how many languages you feel you must have them learn.
go on?
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Having kids myself I find that everybody has an opinion on how we should raise them. We just smile and thank them for their advice and then my wife and I do what we think is best.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:59 am Posts: 18643 Location: Raleigh, NC Gender: Male
corduroy_blazer wrote:
tyler wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'?
I can't help but wonder how many languages you feel you must have them learn.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
Athletic Supporter wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
tyler wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'?
I can't help but wonder how many languages you feel you must have them learn.
go on?
He's saying one religion is good enough for him.
okey!
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:48 am Posts: 11400 Location: VA via Chicago Gender: Female
meatwad wrote:
#3. My younger son is only 3, but as my older son (almost becomes more knowledgable of the way the world works, I tell him "There are many beliefs out there when it comes to God. I'm leaving it up to you to figure out on your own what you believe, when you feel that you're at a point in your life to seek out that knowledge." I think they'll respect me much more as adults than if I cram some religion down their throat from the time they're little.
Remember c_b, kids will believe anything you teach them.
I would have to agree with Meatwad on this one.
My parents pretty much left it up to my sister and I. My Mom chose this route and I totally appreciate the fact that she didn't cram it down our throats.
She more than encouraged us to go to every church in town, bible study, Sunday school and church outings just to learn and ask questions about every religion. My Mom is also really into comparative religion studies. Everynight before she goes to bed she reads some form of "bible"...
Most of my family is very religious and I see how they are raising their kids. I don't agree with my uncle, who is a preacher mind you, pretty much forcing his children who are 8, 5 and 3 to live and breathe every minute of their day in a church. He is even home schooling them.... there does need to be a line drawn somewhere, and I believe that it needs to be before this, but who knows, it seems to work for them.
I think children, when taught right from wrong, are able to make decent decisions on a whole if their parents encourage them to find themselves... that doesn't just go for religion. Is there honestly one option for anything that is truly right?
_________________ Frank
you're in my soul now. you've got to waste away with me.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:46 pm Posts: 9617 Location: Medford, Oregon Gender: Male
Another thing to remember c_b is that you don't need religion to instill a good sense of right/wrong in children. That's what I feel is my most important responsibility in raising my kids. That and common sense.
_________________ Deep below the dunes I roved Past the rows, past the rows Beside the acacias freshly in bloom I sent men to their doom
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:48 am Posts: 11400 Location: VA via Chicago Gender: Female
meatwad wrote:
Another thing to remember c_b is that you don't need religion to instill a good sense of right/wrong in children. That's what I feel is my most important responsibility in raising my kids. That and common sense.
Exactly.
C_B, how old are your kids?
_________________ Frank
you're in my soul now. you've got to waste away with me.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:59 am Posts: 18643 Location: Raleigh, NC Gender: Male
*Chloe wrote:
meatwad wrote:
Another thing to remember c_b is that you don't need religion to instill a good sense of right/wrong in children. That's what I feel is my most important responsibility in raising my kids. That and common sense.
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:47 am Posts: 46000 Location: Reasonville
*Chloe wrote:
meatwad wrote:
Another thing to remember c_b is that you don't need religion to instill a good sense of right/wrong in children. That's what I feel is my most important responsibility in raising my kids. That and common sense.
Exactly. C_B, how old are your kids?
i'm just getting myself ready for anything, ya know?
_________________ No matter how dark the storm gets overhead They say someone's watching from the calm at the edge What about us when we're down here in it? We gotta watch our backs
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:48 am Posts: 11400 Location: VA via Chicago Gender: Female
corduroy_blazer wrote:
*Chloe wrote:
meatwad wrote:
Another thing to remember c_b is that you don't need religion to instill a good sense of right/wrong in children. That's what I feel is my most important responsibility in raising my kids. That and common sense.
Exactly. C_B, how old are your kids?
i'm just getting myself ready for anything, ya know?
I follow... assumed you had some tykes running around already!
_________________ Frank
you're in my soul now. you've got to waste away with me.
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:48 am Posts: 11400 Location: VA via Chicago Gender: Female
I think it's important to steer your kids in the right direction but ultimately let them make the final decision. Obviously you wouldn't let your three year old decide whether or not it's safe to play in the street... you get the idea I'm sure.
_________________ Frank
you're in my soul now. you've got to waste away with me.
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:41 am Posts: 14208 Location: Lexington, KY Gender: Male
*Chloe wrote:
corduroy_blazer wrote:
*Chloe wrote:
meatwad wrote:
Another thing to remember c_b is that you don't need religion to instill a good sense of right/wrong in children. That's what I feel is my most important responsibility in raising my kids. That and common sense.
Exactly. C_B, how old are your kids?
i'm just getting myself ready for anything, ya know?
I follow... assumed you had some tykes running around already!
Take this for what you will.
My parents do not want me to live an eternity in hell. They knew this from the moment of conception. It is perfectly natural for them to tell me what they believe and I know I always have a choice to choose another way. That is one of God's greatest gifts. He does not force you to him. Saying that bringing kids up that way is brainwashing is naive. It may seem that way because as a young person we want to believe in the same things our parents do. I do not believe in the same things my parents do and I went to church most of my junior years. I know of plenty of minister's kids that are spending the rest of their days in prison. Just because you teach them one way younger only enables them knowledge. It does not harm. Of course your parents are going to teach you what their life experience has told them. Otherwise, we might as well not even have any parents. I think tolerance and treating each other as we would want to be treated is very important. The only other commandment above this is to love God with all of your heart, soul, strength and mind.
_________________ The stakes are so high, he said, that we should gamble on God's existence. We have nothing to lose if it turns out that God does not exist, but everything to gain or lose if he does exist.
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'?
As Stephen Colbert says, there are many different paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your savior.
-- i argued that if i tell them to go to those classes, what about jewish classes? buddism classes? where do i draw the line? why am i telling them 'this is the only religion worth learning about'?
I can't help but wonder how many languages you feel you must have them learn.
go on?
He's saying one religion is good enough for him.
Actually my 12 year old son has a very basic understanding of quite a few religions. But he can only do this because he has been raised in one religion. When it's a Jewish holiday we may talk about how their beliefs differ from ours. Really whatever questions he brings up we follow. You'd be surprised at the questions kids ask. They definitely are not brainwashed into believing what they are taught. If that was the case how many kids would become juvenile delinquents?
I think not teaching any belief system in a world full of beliefs systems is akin to not teaching your child one language. But prefering them to pick up any words from any language they happen upon, without having any context or understanding of the words. Kids will be influenced by their parents' beliefs but we no kids also get to a point where they question everything their parents have taught them.
But whatever children are taught should include tolerance of other beliefs and acceptance of people with other beliefs and the idea that no one knows for sure. That everyone's belief system is faith based.
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:46 pm Posts: 9617 Location: Medford, Oregon Gender: Male
tyler wrote:
Actually my 12 year old son has a very basic understanding of quite a few religions. But he can only do this because he has been raised in one religion. When it's a Jewish holiday we may talk about how their beliefs differ from ours.
How can you consider them 'our beliefs' (yours and your son's) if you've always told him that that's what is truth? Does he really believe it's the truth, or does he only accept it as the truth? I think there's a big difference.
_________________ Deep below the dunes I roved Past the rows, past the rows Beside the acacias freshly in bloom I sent men to their doom
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