I'm telling you, this world is goin to shits, quickly.
SO, to paraphrase the great Chris Rock: what do we do to keep the kids off the pole?

The binge drinking girl who suffered liver failure at just 14
By LUKE SALKELD Last updated at 20:57pm on 14th April 2008

She started drinking heavily at the age of 12. And by the time she was 14, Natasha Farnham was told by shocked doctors that she was the youngest patient they had ever seen with liver failure caused by alcohol abuse.

She was drinking up to six bottles of wine a day - and now, at 18, she has been warned that if she drinks again she will die.

Her descent into a life of ruined health and petty crime again illustrates the perils of cheap alcohol and the culture of binge-drinking that grips Britain.

The teenager wants to tell her story to warn others of the dangers.


Natasha Farnham would steal from her mum Michelle to pay for her spiralling habit

"I didn't think my drinking was a problem because all my friends were getting wasted every weekend as well," she recalled.

"I suppose I thought I looked grown-up and would drink as much as possible - sometimes even passing out.

"But now I have no short-term memory and doctors warn me that if I drink any more, I will die. Don't end up like me.

"I have been a binge-drinker, had liver failure and been in rehab and I'm still a teenager."

After drinking a bottle of highstrength cider when she was 12, Natasha soon turned into what she describes as an "alcoholic dropout", drinking up to four times a week and skipping school.


Natasha started drinking at the age of 12

"I never questioned what I was doing and my mum didn't know because I would pretend I was staying at a friend's house," she said.

"I would save my dinner money and spend it on booze.

"It was never hard to get our hands on alcohol.

"In fact, it was the easiest part. The hardest part was saving for it."

Natasha, of Bath, Somerset, also stole from her mother to pay for her habit.

She said: "At 13, I would drink up to three litres of wine a day, followed by two bottles of Lambrini and perhaps a litre of vodka.

"I was too young to understand what an alcoholic was, let alone understand that I was one.


She is now warning youngsters about the dangers of binge drinking

"When I was told about the liver failure, it was the doctors that looked the most shocked.

"They said that they hadn't ever seen liver failure in someone so young.

"But it didn't sink in at all."

On New Year's Day 2004, she was rushed to hospital after a three-day binge in which she drank four boxes of wine - equivalent to 16 bottles.

"The doctors warned me to clean up my act or I could die," she added.

"But I didn't listen."

Natasha, who continued to drink while taking tablets for her liver failure, pleaded guilty to burglary at Bristol Crown Court last week and was given a two-year community order.

She has been on a rehabilitation programme for two months and is finally working with doctors to beat her addiction.

Her mother Michelle, 40, said: "When she started drinking, it was around the same time that alcopops were being advertised.

"I'm sure Natasha is not the first, or the last, teenage binge-drinker to be diagnosed with liver failure."

Sarah Matthews, of the British Liver Trust, said: "This is a tragedy and she is very lucky to be alive.

"I am pretty certain she is the youngest person in the UK to suffer liver failure from drinking.

"This case raises a lot of issues.

"The main thing that needs to be done is for supermarkets to stop offering alcohol at pocket-money prices.

"It is so cheap at the moment it is ridiculous."

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Can you tell mum's had some work done?

'All I want for my birthday is a boob job like Mummy', says Alicia Douvall's 12-year-old daughter
By DONNA McCONNELL -
Last updated at 09:59am on 15th April 2008


Lots of little girls grow up wanting to look just like their mother.

But when your mother is a former glamour model with a penchant for plastic surgery, it should come as no surprise that Alicia Douvall's 12-year-old daughter has asked her mother for an operation - to boost her still-developing bust.

For her 13th birthday, along with a request for some perfume and an iPhone, Alicia's pretty 12-year-old daughter has asked for breast implants.

Mummy's little girl: Alicia Douvall with her 12-year-old daughter Georgia, who for her 13th birthday has asked for perfume, a mobile phone and breast implants like her mother's

Alicia - born Sarah Howes - is best known for her lurid kiss-and-tell stories of her liaisons with celebrities including Calum Best, Dennis Rodman, P-Diddy and Mick Hucknall.

In an interview with Closer magazine, the former Love Island contestant revealed: "Georgia wrote a little birthday wish-list for her 13th birthday later this month and on it was Kate Moss perfume, an iPhone and a boob job."
Alicia's daughter, who she describes as 'a quiet girl', harbours ambitions to become a lingerie model, which her mother supports.

However, despite bearing witness to her mother's constant enhancements to her Barbie-like figure, Alicia says she was still surprised by her daughter's birthday request.

Plastic fanatic: Alicia has admitted to having 50 cosmetic surgery ops over the past decade

She said: "I was surprised because I didn't know she was worried about her flat chest. She's such a quiet girl, she doesn't say a lot."

But Georgia said: "I think my mum looks good. Because of her, I think it's normal to have surgery if something's not quite right."

Alicia admits to having had over 50 cosmetic surgery procedures over the past decade, and it seems her plastic surgery obsession has rubbed off on her young daughter Georgia.

Unsurprisingly, she supports her daughter's request, and is happy that she wants to surgically alter her still-developing teenage body.

Even, going so far as to say cosmetic surgery is just the modern way of taking care of your appearance.


Caution: Nipple under the link
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04_03/Douvall1007XP_468x662.jpg
Boob malfunction: As well as her love of plastic surgery, former glamour model Alicia is famous for her celebrity liaisons and falling out of clubs wearing very little

She said: "My mum always taught me to take care of my appearance and that's all I've taught Georgia. Surgery's just the modern-day next level."

However, Alicia said she is insisting that her daughter waits until she's 16 for the operation.

She said: "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well.

"That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career.

"She's been at a modelling agency since she was about six. She'll be more famous than Britney!"

Alicia, 28, has just returned from America where she had her 12th breast op, but, unhappy with the results, she's already planning her 13th.

The self-confessed 'pushy mum' has also changed Georgia's name to 'Destiny' to enhance her daughter's chances of showbiz success.

boob alert!

fack! I didn't even see that!
Fixed!

Though for a second there, I thought you were talkin about one of the teens!

Kill them. Kill them all.

Well, the alcohol girl looks good, but her mother...holy shit, seems like an aidetic junkie.

This is one reason I kind of like working with poor folks, they don't really do dumb shit like this. Other dumb shit, sure, but not this dumb shit.