A lot of good people live in red states. People who don't vote Republican as well. People like me.

A lot of good people live in red states. People who don't vote Republican as well. People like me.

TROOF.


like me as well.

That's ok, you're coming to California soon.

TROOF.


like me as well.

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this
split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people
of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get
two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back
from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for
no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister
schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the
other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese
Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all
U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of
the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100
percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite,
thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44
percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you
are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Peace out,
Blue States

It's already been done.

Don't you think this sentiment is pretty out of date and stupid?

Nope. I actually feel its quite forward thinking, ahead of its time, and damn near genius.

I see. I've enjoyed this frank and open exchange of ideas.

It's already been done.

so, my friend's boyfriend got offered a position in the white house. she lives here in new york alone, as he's been in chicago for the campaign. i can't imagine him passing this up, so this should be interesting.

TROOF.


like me as well.