I was reading up on this organization after they appeared on TMZ talking about Tim Tebow. I like them! Check this list out:

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth[14]


Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
When in another's lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
Do not harm little children.
Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don’t stop, destroy them.

What's not to agree with here? Not sure I like the magic one but the rest seem like awesome rules to live by!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Satan

The Church of Satan does not worship or support a belief in the Devil or other supernatural entities. "My real feeling is that anybody who believes in supernatural entities on some level is insane. Whether they believe in The Devil or God, they are abdicating reason," said Peter Gilmore.[3] Gilmore defines the word Satan: "Satan is a model or a mode of behavior. Satan in Hebrew means 'adversary' or 'opposer'; one who questions."[3]

lol. Welcome to Laveyan Satanism. I was a card-carrying member of this church for a full year in my late teens. It was fun. Lots of orgies.

What do they mean by lair? Your home?
What does the mating signal entail? Flashing?
So it's ok to kill human animals under certain conditions?
Destroy them. Hahaha.


They are worded in goth, so they sound funny. You can just read the magic one as 'give credit where credit's due' or something.

Yes, your "lair" is your home. A lot of those rules are silly. You should read The Satanic Bible, which is their version of Dianetics. A lot of it is over-the-top campy. The Church itself has some good ideas but it is an organized religion and thus riddled with inconsistencies and a hunger for control and profit.

The whole "Satan" thing is basically them trolling. They're mostly atheists. It's really a kind of rampant secular humanism. They do have some hysterical rituals though that I could never get through with a straight face.

And when I said I was a "card-carrying" member I mean that literally. There is a card. I still have it somewhere.

that's awesome jorge. a club for atheists!

Their website is eternally stuck in 1996.
http://churchofsatan.com/home.html

Yah I went there first and couldn't learn a thing so then went to wiki.

You should join, Matt. http://churchofsatan.com/Pages/CS%20Act ... cation.pdf

That's a long application.

cant i just worship Satan with good old fasioned human sacrifices and animal rape?

not surprised

*outrage*

*confusion and delay*

This is a church that Self Polluted would really feel at home in.

that's something of an inflated reaction regardless of the intended sarcasm.

I just mean that it's exactly the kind of thing an overly indulged, rich boy would do in their teens. *shrugs*

True. Most of the people in the church (from my experience) were either rich & "rebellious" (the younger crowd) or rich & bored (the older people). I think you even had to pay to join at the time.

I don't know, platy. Do I have to attend any masses? What about tithing and weird attire?

Well, jorge already said you had to pay an entrance fee back in the 80s

Apparently he was their webmaster as well.