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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:58 am 
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theplatypus wrote:
I Hail Randy Moss wrote:
you are bound to hear things that will bother you. Don't let it. Be comfortable in your own skin.

I will point out that this is extremely easy to say as a white, heterosexual American male. Unchecked privilege, friends.
.



Not the point. The point is that they're going to hear it regardless. It's how you deal with it.


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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:05 am 
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No, I get your point. My point is it's facile to say they should simply "deal with it" better and "be comfortable" and "not let it bother them" when you have little idea what it's like to be insulted to your very core based on your race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation. Those quizzical looks? They were probably thinking "who the fuck does this guy think he is?".

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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:10 am 
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theplatypus wrote:
No, I get your point. My point is it's facile to say they should "deal with it" better and "be comfortable" and "not let it bother them" when you have little idea what it's like to be insulted to your very core based on your race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation. Those quizzical looks? They were probably thinking "who the fuck does this guy think he is?".


race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation? No. You're right. But I have been insulted by friends (past friends anyway) and family that shook me to my core. I wish someone pointed out my race or gender instead. But I've learned to deal with any words thrown at me, because I"m comfortable with who I am. I'm friends with one african american guy who after the years has learned to not to put up with the bullshit.

I get you, but what you're saying is not going to stop individual insults towards someone. And the quizzical looks and their thoughts didn't bother me. I was only trying to help. Maybe in the future they'll realize that.


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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:20 am 
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one of my students (heterosexual) was at a gay bar in NYC a few weeks ago (with a gay friend) and some guy at the bar slipped a drug in his drink and spent the rest of the night trying to take him home. It was really excellent insight into what girls must feel like every time they go out.

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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:21 am 
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I Hail Randy Moss wrote:
theplatypus wrote:
No, I get your point. My point is it's facile to say they should "deal with it" better and "be comfortable" and "not let it bother them" when you have little idea what it's like to be insulted to your very core based on your race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation. Those quizzical looks? They were probably thinking "who the fuck does this guy think he is?".


race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation? No. You're right. But I have been insulted by friends (past friends anyway) and family that shook me to my core. I wish someone pointed out my race or gender instead. But I've learned to deal with any words thrown at me, because I"m comfortable with who I am. I'm friends with one african american guy who after the years has learned to not to put up with the bullshit.



It's more than just something shaking you to your core. There are elements of power involved that you just won't understand (nor will I). At least not at a visceral level

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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:24 am 
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stip wrote:
one of my students (heterosexual) was at a gay bar in NYC a few weeks ago (with a gay friend) and some guy at the bar slipped a drug in his drink and spent the rest of the night trying to take him home. It was really excellent insight into what girls must feel like every time they go out.


Jeffery Dahmer would do this.

stip wrote:
I Hail Randy Moss wrote:
theplatypus wrote:
No, I get your point. My point is it's facile to say they should "deal with it" better and "be comfortable" and "not let it bother them" when you have little idea what it's like to be insulted to your very core based on your race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation. Those quizzical looks? They were probably thinking "who the fuck does this guy think he is?".


race/gender/nationality/sexual orientation? No. You're right. But I have been insulted by friends (past friends anyway) and family that shook me to my core. I wish someone pointed out my race or gender instead. But I've learned to deal with any words thrown at me, because I"m comfortable with who I am. I'm friends with one african american guy who after the years has learned to not to put up with the bullshit.



It's more than just something shaking you to your core. There are elements of power involved that you just won't understand (nor will I). At least not at a visceral level


Probably not. Wish I did.


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 Post subject: Re: The Limits of Humor
PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 8:59 pm 
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I Hail Randy Moss wrote:
theplatypus wrote:
I Hail Randy Moss wrote:
you are bound to hear things that will bother you. Don't let it. Be comfortable in your own skin.

I will point out that this is extremely easy to say as a white, heterosexual American male. Unchecked privilege, friends.
.



Not the point. The point is that they're going to hear it regardless. It's how you deal with it.


You can't really tell people not to be offended. Some people have very good reasons to have a thin skin.


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