Fixtures have just been released today so it makes sense to start a new thread.

Saturday, 15 August 2009
Aston Villa v Wigan, 15:00
Blackburn v Man City, 15:00
Bolton v Sunderland, 15:00
Chelsea v Hull, 15:00
Everton v Arsenal, 15:00
Man Utd v Birmingham, 15:00
Portsmouth v Fulham, 15:00
Stoke v Burnley, 15:00
Tottenham v Liverpool, 15:00
Wolverhampton v West Ham, 15:00

First Manchester Derby of the season on the weekend of the 19th September!

Bloody Scousers in the the first week of the season. Great

Aaaaaah,
A new thread to be filled with

-> Scousers being sure it's their year. It's basically already won. Stevie Me & Nando pretty much make Maradona & Pele look like Pennant & Le Tallec. Carra beats up Torres in the last game of the season and tells him he should have taken diving lessons from Stevie M. Liverpool fails in their record quest to be awarded a penalty in every game. They get only 37. A new rule is set in that every tackle on Xabi Alonso is an automatic red card.

-> Spurs fans seeing their team crumble, stay in relegation zone and then put on a sensational run to end just outside the Euro tickets.

-> Arsenal fans see their team sell their best player, buy noone to replace him and see their brilliant kids do very well… in a league cup game in which they demolish non-league Rushden & D'monds 6-0. At that point, they are sure they have the best team in the world and will win the league by at least 10 points. However, they end 4th.

-> City fans suffer even worse from megalomania but finish lower than this season. Barry hardly gets off the bench with Ireland & Kompany in midfield and misses out on the World Cup. That being his only target for joining City and money totally not important of course, he commits suicide when Capello tells him he's not going to South-Africa but some 14-year old Arsenal midfielder (the only English player in the Arsenal -15 they could find, being lauded as the new Fabian Delph) is taken to the World Cup instead.

-> United fans … well… you tell me.

United fans to say they're better off without Ronaldo, yet find out they really aren't when they're out of the title race with a fortnight to go. Then turning their attention to how the world is against them and they can't get any love from the retched referees, mere weeks after a determined Spurs outfit is denied at Old Trafford by a Greg Louganis-style dive from United's new pretty boy.

Man Utd lose their first 20 games of the season. Ferguson is sacked after some questionable decisions specifically buying Titus Bramble off a well hung Irishman for 20 mill. Utd eventually are relegated and appoint Iain Dowie as manager with Massimo Taibi his no. 2. Wayne Rooney joins Real Madrid, Vidic goes to Barca and Anderson joins Burton Albion on a free. In the summer the Glazer family goes bust and sells Utd to a group of Liverpool fans. They wind the club down sell Utd's trophies and hire out Old Trafford for Monster Truck events.

Arsenal will sack Wenger after he's finally convicted for 9000 counts of peadophilia based on the unbiased and completly impartial evidence provided by Tottenham fans. Newcastle will eventually realise that all is lost and find anew calling as the comedy equivalent of the Harlem Globe Trotters. Rafa will finally win the league but only after reverting to the traditonal Liverpool values of boring the opposition into a coma. Torres will only play 5 minutes all season after breaking his leg adjusting his sock. Sol Campbell is finally brought to book for his crimes against humanity and in the biggest trial of its kind since Nuremburg, is convicted. The very next day he is dragged through the streets of North London before being being run over very slowly by a steamroller.

Spurs, on the other hand do their usual thing of spending £700 million, sacking the manager in October and finishing in midtable.

Everton will win every home game 1 - 0 except those against Arsenal, Liverpool and Man U which they will loose. The unlikely feat of making their strike force even more fragile will be achieved by signing Michael Owen. James Vaughan will manage 15 very promising minutes before breaking something.

Rosicky will score 30 goals be awarded Player of The Year.

That's more unlikely than the shit I posted!

Rosicky forgot bout him.....

Aldi and Lidl will merge, and buyout Tesco, who will then tell Everton to fuck off over their new stadium. David Moyes will turn into Gollum and head to Mordor.

Do you really think Rafa will get sacked this year?

If Liverpool have a bad season then I think Rafa will be under pressure. It also depends whether Statler and Waldorf are still at the club

I struggle to recognise what song the fans are trying to mimic in the crowds.

I pity all supporters of the smaller teams playing against United. All they usually did was boo Ronaldo. What now?

Don't worry mate, there's still plenty to choose from...

So Tevez is up for grabs. Refused an offer that would have made him one of the best paid players at United. Cunt.

Has ruled out Liverpool because of the rivalry with Utd but yet will sign for City?? Another case of the Gareth Barrys me thinks?

I don't really rate Tevez that much. He has good spells but I don't think he's nearly as consistent as he needs to be. Perhaps not playing as regularly as he could adds to this. He's ruled out Liverpool? I wouldn't have thought he'd have been that loyal to Man Urinal and would've liked to play with Mascherano again. Do Liverpool really need him? I wouldn't have Tevez at Arsenal.

yeah why would you want tevez when you have bendtner.

Tevez is 10-1 on to be playing for city at the end of the transfer window